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Self awareness and self development assessment
Self development and self awareness
Self awareness and its negative effects
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Almost every day throughout high school I experienced something that I could not identify. It was over a year since I had graduated until could put words to emotion. I discovered that I was not free in my own mind. I was in a prison. One that I couldn't touch and for many years I could not see. After several visits to counselors and therapists I finally had the words to describe what my experience was.
It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having. Basically I didn't want to talk to anyone or to be anywhere near anyone I didn't know. I didn't really want to leave my house for any reason for fear that I might have to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing in relation to myself that I couldn't even enter into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was in the forefront of my mind at all times. Something telling me that everything I did was a failure, and that anything I ever did would not succeed. Through discussion with my family it was decided that I should move out of my parents house to a place where I could find treatment and get a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their Saint Bernard in Greensboro.
As we pulled out of my parents driveway, the circumstances seemed very surreal. My entire way of life had been turned upside down with only a few hours consideration. I was very much “at sea” in the ...
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... I could see that part of me that caused me harm was starting to show itself and I would act, clearing my mind completely before anything could take hold. As well as eradicating negativity, I also forced my mind into happiness through focus and meditation.
Nothing has changed my life more since the realization that I had to make who I was something that I chose, and not something that just happened. Since this revelation nothing seemed the same anymore, as though I could see the world through new eyes. It changed everything from my taste in music, literature, and movies. Things of a dark and pessimistic nature used to hold a strong allure for me, and yet I found much of things I once enjoyed didn't seem to entertain me anymore. I remembered the mental state that I once held and now seeing how I have changed, know that I can never return to the prison I came from.
While having a concert at Central Park in New York City, Barbra Streisand forgot the words to one of her songs, which caused her to not charge people for her singing for nearly 30 years in fear of forgetting the words again. Social phobia is one of the most common anxiety disorders, with a lifetime prevalence of 7%-13%. Many are affected by social phobia, or Social Anxiety Disorder. Social Anxiety Disorder is not genetically linked, the environment is what influences it.
There’s an event in everyone's life that changes you, whether it be a simple hello or a death in the family. Tragically, mine begins with my mother marrying her second husband. The lessons I learned from this man shaped me into the person I am today. I came from a bad situation and he took my family in and and showed me that not every man is the same. Perseverance, the ability to forgive, and willingness to change your life for the better are just some of the things he taught me. If it weren’t for the little talks we had I wouldn’t be hopeful that I am, that I will turn my life around.
Social anxiety is a prevalent and common disorder amongst society. Social anxiety disorder is expressed as a fear in public and social situations for an individual (Kashdan, Farmer, Adams, Mcknight, Ferssizidis, Nezelf 2013). A person with social anxiety fears that a social appearance, outcome, or situation will lead a to negative response to their surrounding audience (Kashdan, Farmer, Adams, Mcknight, Ferssizidis, Nezelf 2013). However there are numerous treatments for social anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most efficacious treatments that a patient may receive (Hambrick, Weeks, Harb, & Heimberg, 2003. Cognitive behavioral therapy has numerous techniques that can be used on patients. The result of using cognitive behavioral therapy on patients shows that it has long-term and short-term effectiveness (Hambrick, Weeks, Harb, & Heimberg, 2003. In conclusion a patient with social anxiety disorder should have the opportunity to try cognitive behavioral therapy.
Everything was always bleak, I forced people away, doing group projects solo, ignoring the attempts of conversation. I knew that it was destructive, but at the same time didn’t care. Eventually, after months of anxiety induced nausea and vomiting I went to a general family doctor. This was both a good step forward and a bad choice, good in that I was finally seeking help, but bad in that I didn’t seek a proper specialist. After 15 minutes I walked out with a script feeling no better that
Within my fifteen and a half years of living, I have experienced many heart wrenching moments that have changed who I am, so many that I stopped trying to keep count long ago. Like most teenagers, the past couple of years have been some of the most confusing, hectic years of my life. I'm at that age I'm trying to figure out who I am, as well as who I want to become. As indecisive as I am, I will more than likely change my mind a time or two, but right now at this very moment, I've finally come to terms with who I really am, and what I would like to do for the rest of my life.
Social anxiety disorder is also known as social phobia. It is defined as the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. It is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people or behaving in a way that might cause embarrassment or ridicule. This leads to feelings of inadequacy, self-consciousness, and depression. The person with social anxiety disorder may believe that all eyes are on him at all times. Social anxiety disorder is the third largest mental health case issue in the world, and it can effect 7% of the population (15 million Americans) at any given time.
Letting go of past trauma and unresolved pain feels like a weight has been lifted off of your head and heart. Once it’s gone, wisdom, peace and joy will take its place. Utilizing this information offers a structure in which to transform individuals and society which is a reinforcement to challenge and inspire others to move beyond conventional or learned paths of behavior to a greater, truer vision of themselves as they find freedom and personal empowerment.
I had no place to call home. My mom had not come to visit me one time, and I had only received a hand full of letters from her. She told me in those letters that she was sick, and I couldn’t live with her (She died of cancer a little over a year after my release). My twenty-three-year-old brother was a drug addict, so I didn’t want to live with him. With no place to live, I would end up in a state halfway house or some other type of group home. For someone who was about to turn sixteen, this was a lot to deal with. The last two hours of my bus ride, which were supposed to be the happiest part of the trip, turned into the worst. The tension in my heart was almost unbearable now. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and was clinching my heart in an angry fist. My eyes teared up from the
Growing up from 7th grade on, something was different with me. I was always anxious and depressed. I began staying home from school in 8th and 9th grade. I was struggling. Freshman year, things started to go downhill. Pushing away everyone who cared about me, had become second nature. My family situation was a mess. I began at a new school for my 10th grade year, and about 2 months in, I was bullied and slut-shamed so bad that I had to leave that school. I developed a substance abuse problem and was using daily. My life was in a burning trash can. One day, I got sent to rehab by my parents. I went to Sunrise Academy and turned my life around. Even though it took me a year and a half, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that day that I was
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like everything was just dumped on you? I did, and undoubtedly it happened just as I came to school at State University. That saying, “When it rains, it pours,” just seemed to fit me perfectly. Within a two week period one of my friends from high school committed suicide, my grandma went in the hospital, and my boyfriend broke up with me. Yet, from these experiences in my life, I grew, more than I have ever grown before. This is why I am writing about it. Although, everyone goes through hard times, there were not many people out there who related to me. That is why it was hard to get help when it was needed. Maybe someone can learn from my experience and be just as strong as I was.
My parents sensed my troubles and we moved. Adjusting to a new high school took time. It was not easy making new friends and I continued to be lost. These incidents weighed heavily on my mind. My anguished heart refused to see beyond my own woes. A recent disturbing incident changed my purview of life.
At the young age of ten, I was faced with a situation that has had one of the largest influences in who I am today. My parents’ divorce has and still currently plays a role in my life that has affected my drive for motivation bringing diverse perspectives. At such a young age, I was filled with such remorse, discouragement, and fear. My educational abilities were collapsing, along with some of my common social activities. I was absent-minded due to my adolescent understanding and confusion of the situation. I became emotionally depleted coming eye to eye with what I was promised would never happen. My personal connections with my family gradually became diminished, from what I kept so valuable. I was placed in a situation that tore apart my contentment, arrogance, and self motivation. It wasn’t until years later, I took my position as a chance to transform my bleakness into a strong desire for greatness.
“Before you can break out of prison, you must realize that you are locked up.” Growing up I have always been the more isolated, introverted type of child. I believe one’s mental stability is a prison that we are all caged in and it is up to us to be free; to set ourselves free! The whole idea of a prisoner being locked away and isolated from the outside world comes from the idea of a free person's perspective. I have always felt like a prisoner in the cage of my own mind, locked away for what seemed like forever. Never being able to fully express my thoughts or emotions, until I set myself free from my own personal prison! My life began to change once I started expressing who I am and being confident in my ability to be unregrettably me.
Has there ever been an experience that not only has changed your development but also has recalibrated your entire life? If you were to ask me this question i would answer yes with great exuberance. I would also state that this occurred not even a month ago. I state this response with great joy simply because I enjoy the recalibration I have encountered, since this change can enhance a better future for myself. It has let me find my true passions and let me realize my true dislikes. Most importantly it has given me a new sense of maturity I feel that I didn’t earn! But in order to explain this adjustment that has crossed my path the reader must understand what and how my life was lived previously. Following this I can describe the events of my experience that leads to the pep talk that induced me into making the change that was essential in order to improve my future.
When I left my room, my mother knew that I had gone through a rough time, and I did not want to talk to her about it. Even though there was only a month left in my school year, I promised myself that I would be completely truthful to my friends, my family, my heritage, and myself. I expected all my friends to leave me, but I was fully prepared for this. However, none of this ever happened. My friends didn’t leave me, I wasn’t alone at the lunch table, I wasn’t even seem differently by those around me. I had failed my family by doing this, and I wished I had stopped acting like someone I wasn’t sooner. This is one of the only mistakes I have made which I consider a failure because it had taken me close to a year to fix, and this is why I consider it my most successful failure.