Irony Island: A Narrative Fiction

“Is everyone present?” Ariana asked on this tremendously beautiful Friday afternoon. “If so, I think we’re all set.”
The, ‘everyone,’ she spoke of consisted six of us. Me, her, Mike, Michael, Michael’s friend Naomi, and Cujo. Somehow, Ariana managed to get her devious hands on free passes to a paintball arena, summoned everyone to come, and, of course, wouldn’t disclose to me the identity of secret supplier, although, I could probably take a wild guess and guess correctly, at that.
Nevertheless, this is what happened the other day outside of a coffee shop.
“I’m going to ask you this one last time, Fatty,” I said, watching as she sipped on an ice vanilla latte, “who gave you the passes?”
“They were packaged along with the raise at my job,”

For one, she didn’t mention anything about no free paintball tickets. Then there’s the fact Monster already had told me about this get together. And finally, you can’t take a person who barely blinks when they’re lying seriously.
“Rumor has it that this arrangement has been planned out for a little over a week now, so why wouldn’t I be suspicious?”
“He-he, it’s simple elementary, my dear Watson,” she replied, tapping the side of her temple with her index finger. “See, from the very beginning I knew I was going to win the raise and that’s why I had this planned out beforehand…”
“Bullshit! You were at work all depressed, miserable, and looking like you wanted to cry because you were in last place.”
“All an act in my grand scheme of things. I figure you would show up, so I dug deep down and brought out the performer in

Moving strands of out her face, she leaned forward on her elbows and flaunted her eyelashes. “We’ve only been doing things that interest me, so I felt it was time to do something that interest you.”
“And how is paintball one of my interest? And why did you invite everybody to come along, especially Monster?”
“Oh?” She grinned and cunningly narrowed her eyes. “So, you’re telling me that a place where legally shooting a certain someone with a hard pellet doesn’t interest you? Maybe I should call it off.”
“Finally you’re listening...”
Wait a minute! A place where getting to shoot at a certain someone with a hard pellet is legal? Reading between the lines here, could she possibly be saying I get to shoot at Monster and won’t get in trouble for it? She must’ve thought through this hell of thoroughly, but hey, I ain’t mad at her. “I’m starting to like you a little more right now,” I said, making the devil proud with my current facial expression. “Not much, but a little.” “I thought it would excite you,” she replied, sucking up all my praise. “I don’t wanna make it seem like we’re only in this for me...” Yeah, the rest of that conversation was a bunch of baloney, especially since all I could think about was how I was going tear a certain someone apart with a thousand and one paintball