Witty Comeback: A Narrative Fiction

Charlie ordered the usual – ½ ounce Averna amaro, ½ ounce fresh lemon, and ½ ounce of ginger simple syrup or also known as the Witty Comeback. A refreshing drink for solemn times and bitter nights especially when the heart was burning up. Twelve weeks have passed since the devastating breakup. The world was wonderful until that crushing moment when Charlie caught her with the dog. Not the alligator, not the kangaroo, not the chimpanzee, not even the raccoon, but the dog. Best friend, bullshit. A shameless betrayal of his lifetime trust that couldn’t be forgiven. Perhaps, not even once. As many others, Charlie tried to erase the traumatic memory with alcohol, with a lot of alcohol. This glorious attempt was marked with failure, though he succeeded

- “What, do I look like a tramp?”

He walked through the bar, singing the song in his head – Damm – dam – durida – bam bam darudida dum bam. Mmm!

- “You have beautiful thighs Ms.”

- “I know.” she sneered.

- “Ha, I like your confidence. Have a little dance with me? “

- “I’d rather die than have anything with you.”

- “Life is short, sweetheart.” Charlie knew women and that every no can turn into a yes.

He loved tough bitches mostly because they were mad hot and the sex was fun. Charlie believed he could seduce every female in a radius of 6 and a half miles especially when he had nothing to lose. Though, he had lost form after all those years and wasn’t in the perfect flirting mood. A quick sip of courage and it was time for magic. She had those thighs, green eyes, long dark hair and oh.. those thighs, man. I’m feeling lucky today.

- “You know, I like your purple dress, baby.”

- “Good for you.”

- “Are you a prostitute?”

- “Are you a retard? Go find another hobby. This one is going to get you in trouble.” she said bluntly.

- “Trouble is all need, sweetheart.”

- “Call me sweetheart one more time and.”

- “And you are going to kiss me, sweetheart?” Charlie