The Wall Street Journal published an article by Victoria Ruan that was titled “In China, Not All Practice Tough Love”. In her article, she briefly discusses what we think of as typical behavior between children and parents in China. She describes the brutal relationships between children and their parents when it comes to schoolwork and being the best possible student in the class. Ruan states how in years past children have been pushed in their studies by their parents to the point in which children start to lose their individuality and love for “not so important” hobbies. According to Ruan, chinese parents don’t just push their children to extremes in order for their children to be as smart as possible, the main goal of this “tough love” mannerism is to ensure that their children have a happy and successful life. However, Ruan believes that in recent years we now have less reason to believe in these stereotypes about chinese parents and their children.
According to Ruan, parenting books emphasizing more focus on listening to their children and developing their skills outside of the classroom have become very popular within China. The best selling parenting book, “A Good Mom Is Better Than a Good Teacher,” has sold just over two million copies since it’s publication in 2009. Ruan reports that the primary readers of these parenting books (chinese parents in their thirties and forties) grew up during a Cultural Revolution that occurred in China from 1966 to 1976. Ruan believes that this revolution poses as a sort of inspiration for chinese parents to get past the old ways of parenting and has inspired chinese parents to adopt a westernized way of thinking when it comes to their kids.
Victoria Ruan’s hypothesis on this p...
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... to let their child make their own desicions. Children also expect their parents to be happy for them, no matter what kind of the life the child may lead (within reason of course).
The fourth and final value of love practiced is called equanimity. This love is practiced by parents when the child is finally a full adult with a family. Parents are expected to not interfere with the life of their child and let their child be fully independent. Parents who practice this last virtue are respected more by their now adult child.
Many parents are now reverting back to these values as guidelines to help raise happier children. Victoria Ruan may be correct about some parents wanting to adopt a western way of raising their children. However, a more likely reason for this sudden swap of discipline for compassion is due to a revival of Buddhist teachings within China.
Like the name of this article suggests, the writer's main purpose is to persuade the audience to make them believe that Chinese mothers are indeed superior. To support her argument she uses different methods to appeal to her audience's favor: she uses statistics of researches about Chinese mothers and Western mothers opinions, opinions that are mostly about how parents should or should not do when they are raising their children. She also uses passages of her life as a Chinese mother to support her argument. Also, she points out a few characteristics of western parents that are completely opposite to how a Chinese mother raises their children, which made her argument stronger. Nevertheless, there were some fallacies in her logic. One of her main fallacies is what we call "Hasty Generalization".
Amy Chua utilizes evidence to verify that Western parenting practice is wrong and not as effective as Chinese parenting practice. In her article, Chua comments, “Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners, “Hey fatty-lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue” (Chua 54). She also gives her observation as evidence to convince Westerners treat their kid wrongly. She adds her observation in her article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” “I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage” (Chua 54). Brooks, in opposite, does not fight against to prove Chinese parenting techniques are completely wrong. However, he just want to give evidence so that Chua and Chinese, in common, understand Western parenting practices are good in some ways. In Brooks’ article, he clears, “So I’m not against the way Chua pushes her daughters” (Brooks 59). Furthermore, David Brooks writes in his article “I wish she recognized that in some important ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library” (Brooks
The study conducted by Li, Costanzo and Putallaz examined the relationship between parenting styles, socialization goals and social-emotional adjustment amid Chinese and European American young adults. The article states that European American parents emphasize self-development goals in their children more so than Chinese parents as Western culture is more individualistic than collectivistic (Li, Costanzo & Putall...
Chinese parenting is competent at times but there are other times where it is more suitable to follow other forms of parenting such as the Western style.These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of parent-child relationships. Whether it is Chinese parenting or Western parenting the relationship between family members is crucial. According to Amy Chua, Chinese parenting is more effective in helping the child attain a better future through the parents’ interests, while Western parenting style reflects mainly the interests of the child.
The Chinese mothers, so concentrated on the cultures of their own, don't want to realize what is going on around them. They don't want to accept the fact that their daughters are growing up in a culture so different from their own. Lindo Jong, says to her daughter, Waverly- "I once sacrificed my life to keep my parents' promise. This means nothing to you because to you, promises mean nothing. A daughter can promise to come to dinner, but if she has a headache, a traffic jam, if she wants to watch a favorite movie on T.V., she no longer has a promise."(Tan 42) Ying Ying St.Clair remarks- "...because I remained quiet for so long, now my daughter does not hear me. She sits by her fancy swimming pool and hears only her Sony Walkman, her cordless phone, her big, important husband asking her why they have charcoal and no lighter fluid."(Tan 64)
Mothers know that their Chinese traditions and language are a necessary factor in dealing with their everyday life. Mothers also know that the new American traditions are needed to succeed in their new home. The mothers encourage English speaking, but also want to preserve their Chinese language. The major new thought that is gained by the children, and the mothers, is the “American Dream.” They believe that anything is possible in America, and their dreams can be fulfilled through their children.
She started working at seventeen years old to support her family. In her situation, the necessity of supporting her family is very significant in her life. In Chinese tradition, parents do not expect anything from their sons and daughters, but the sense of respect towards the hard work that Chinese parents do for their kids is a must for successful men and women to support their parents with their free-will. These people are grateful that their parents gave them existence—creating opportunities for searching for ethical values that will help them succeed.
With the deep influence of Confucianism, Chinese regards family very different from the western world. The filial piety is the most fundamental virtue in Confucianism. Growing up, Chinese learns the traditional confucian values in schools and in homes. Chinese respects Confucianism and follows all the rules in Confucianism. Failing to be filial will bring a huge shame to the family. Even more, the Chinese society and government mandatory force adult children to follow the filial piety. Family is the most important unit in the Chinese society. Chinese lives with the whole family; the three-generational cohabitation is the most ideal family pattern in the Chinese society. The grown-up children support and respect their old parents. Children
There are big differences in how Chinese mothers act towards their children compared to Western mothers including the expression of feelings and approval, the worth of their children, and what is best for them. Amy Chua (2011) incorporates her own personal experiences of being a Chinese mother within her article and compares that to what she witnesses in America.
Unlike old times in which only the eldest obtained the rights and land to curate while the others were just expected to marry well. Every parents’ goal is to get their children to have a better life than what they endured. HOwever, not wanting their children to suffer they spoil and enable their children to the extreme. Thus, children are unprepared for the real world because they had never been exposed to the truth. Parents tend to disregard their children's actions and blame others for their mistakes. For instance, if a child is given a F in class, parents go to the teacher demanding a reason as to why that happened. Versus holding their kid responsible, for they know the rules and requirements that are needed to obtain an A. Parents are forgetting to instill key character traits like discipline and responsibil in order to succeed in life without the help of mommy and daddy. Hence, the generation of teens that complain about everything and are unprepared for a job or college that are essential to them being thriving
We all know that parents hold a lot of responsible when it come to raising children. Parents are to show their children many things when it comes to growing up. We learn these things so that when we are coming of age in the real world with a job we know what to say, what not to say, and we know what not to do, and what to do. It's our parents responsibility to form us with the correct values as a young child. When we are old enough and are considered as minors we make our own decisions.
Parenting in today’s society is extremely competitive. Raising children has become the new sport interest to the parents, and the success that the kids achieve in life is the gold medal. You see the articles in magazines, the websites online, and the ads on TV that promote the newest and greatest parenting methods used by mothers and father everywhere. The differences we see in parenting can differ from family to family, but the biggest contrast is between the different ethnicities of the world. How a Western mother raises her child may be completely different than that of a Chinese mother. These differences are the ones that are observed by author Amy Chua, as well as mothers who have read her works of literature.
“Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” is an excerpt from Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, a Yale Law professor. In this excerpt the author explains why Chinese children tend to be more successful in life and expresses her dislike towards Western parenting. The first idea Chua explains is a list of activities her daughters are allowed to do and not do in order to focus solely on academic progress. Second, the author demonstrates the contrast in mindset between Chinese mothers and Western mothers by explaining how Chinese mothers feel differently than Western mothers in regards to academic success and learning. Furthermore, she describes how Chinese mothers can demand things from their children. Finally, they can also say
The two notable parenting styles discussed in Amy Chua’s article, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” are the Western style parenting and the Chinese Tiger Mom style parenting. Chua explains the methods, the advantages and the disadvantages of both styles. She believes that Tiger Mom parenting is superior to Western parenting. In her article, Chua proves that raising children with the firm belief that failure is unacceptable will prepare them for the future.
... (Kilian, Hennigs and Langner, 2012) supported this conclusion and added the impact of technological evolution in the construction of their values. The interaction with their parents, engaging in closer and less structured interactions with their siblings, reinforced the movement toward less restraint with authority (Hershatter and Epstein, 2010). Chinese millennials emerged in the era of the one child policy (Cao, 2009), materializing with the concentration of the attention by the parents on their single youngster, enhancing the altruistic attitude of the kids (Schullery, 2013). The principal objective of this study was not to understand the dynamic of the Chinese family throughout time, but to demonstrate the possible evolution of the cultural dimensions.