When I Heart My Own Farts

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This I believe, I believe in honesty where it counts like admitting when you're wrong or when you messed up and other assorted flukes or whatever. But admitting when you’ve done something bad or when you've messed up is pretty honorable in my book, so it is now storytime. The stage is set, I’m in 7th grade and I have an “I heart my own farts” bumper magnet that I took of a parked car in a McDonald's parking lot earlier that year. It was roughly 4:17am west coast time or 7:17am eastern. I reach into my computer bag which I am required to wear over my shoulder and look like a big fat nerd, and pull out the bumper magnet in which I stashed in there. This was premeditated, my plan was to slap the bumper magnet on the back of the bus as i walked behind it on a brisk spring morning. And it all went as planned I walked out of the bus door and spanked the magnet right onto the ass of the big nasty yellow school bus. I do not remember what I did for the rest of the day, I know I went to gym …show more content…

So everybody and their mother is on the bus and then Mrs. bus driver lady, who was probab stands up holding my bumper magnet and is clearly furious and is asking “WHO DID THIS?” and I being the bright, wide eyed, young man I am stood up and walked to the front and told her that I am the one responsible. She already did not like me fooling around on the bus but this to her was apparently “over the line” and “unfunny” and she “could have gotten a ticket for it” but whatever. I'm pretty sure everyone else on the bus thought otherwise but this was 3 years ago and man does time fly. I was granted a reserved seat in the front for the next couple weeks for that little stunt. The real reason I confessed to it was I didn't want any two-faced, big toothed, meanie head taking credit for my work of

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