Consistency is Hard for Parents
Parenting is exhausting and frustrating. Most parents re just trying to make it to the end of the day. In many homes, expediency takes precedence over consistency. You may get very frustrated that your child won't clean her room, but after asking her multiple times, you get fed up and do it yourself. We are all human and will make mistakes, but making an effort to be consistent is essential to raising confident, secure children. Choosing expediency over consistency has an effect on your child’s behavior and character. Being consistent is time-consuming and requires thought and patience, but it is an investment in your child's development and will make your relationship stronger as your child grows.
Consistency is one of the most important concepts when it comes to being an effective parent. Emotionally, consistency means purposely choosing how you are going to engage
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These behaviors are especially normal during the early years when a child is starting to integrate stimuli from their environment into their schema, and develop a world view. Children test limits in order to figure out their world. Kids need consistent consequences with undesirable behaviors. If you are trying to change an undesirable behavior, consistency is the way to do it. It may take a long time, but if you are consistent with your new rules and ideas, your children will integrate these ideas into their brain.
Consistency is important in how you emotionally react when your child does something which you don't like and also what reaction or consequence you use to teach that the behavior is the undesirable. Consequences should fit the behavior, and your tone and demeanor should match the severity of the behavior. If a child is acting out the behavior needs to be addressed with a logical and related consequence.
Give Your Kids More
The parenting style we used was authoritative. With this style our virtual child benefited because he knew what the expectations were and we stayed consistent we set few rules, but enforced then every time.
When Ezra was eight years old, he had a psychologist report done that asked a set of questions not only to him but also to myself about my parenting style. I scored high in the top 15 percentiles in not only warmth and affection but also discipline and control. Being high in all four aspects of parenting styles puts me into the authoritative style (Bee & Boyd, 2012). In The Developing Child, the authors describe the parents with this parenting style as those that are “setting clear limits, expecting and reinforcing socially mature behavior, and at the same time responding to the child’s individual needs (Bee & Boyd, 2012, p. 326).” As I reflect on certain situations, I can tell that this style guided my parenting. For example, when Ezra was 6 he frequently cheated at games if he knew he could get away with it. My response, with accordance to my authoritative parenting style, was to beginning teaching him right and wrong, not getting upset, but to bring up the cheating and tell him to play by the rules despite him not having a “strong sense of mortality (Manis, 2008).” I decided to use that option because I wanted Ezra to learn from the experience but continue to play the game and have
A parent’s parenting styles are as diverse as the world we live in today. Nowadays, parents only want what is best for their children and their parenting styles plays a crucial role in the development of children which will in the long run, not only effect the child’s childhood years, but later prolong into their adult life as well.
The child is motivated by his natural curiosity and becomes involved in an unintentional conflict, by a new situation getting out of hand due to lack of experience. Sometimes their curiosity may be to intentionally cause a conflict to see what might happen. Depending upon the personality; child learns through full engagement in the experiment of life and play in the world of the classroom. In this situation teacher should acts in a firm but friendly manner to reinforce limits, raise consciousness levels, and teach alternative behaviours. Once I had an experience of working with a three-year-old child. As soon as the class over when I was coming out of the classroom, he was spitting to show his unhappiness towards me as an attention getting. Then I returned to the child and I did not punish the child, instead I showed patience and guidance, which is the best approach in enhancing child learning, self-esteem and self-confidence, by the time he looked at my eyes, and he argued a little. But later he did not repeat the habit of spitting in any situation. At this stage teacher needs to appreciate the tentative nature of this situation and not over react. According to Gartrell,”Conflicts like this that result from innocent mistakes or situation getting out of hand he call uncontrolled experimentation mistaken
Children need structure. It is a parent’s job to instill structure and rules in their child. Although we need to raise independent children, the life skills taught to children are more important than any style of parenting. Teaching children unconditional love, time management and the proper attitudes, and skills, children grow up confident and feel loved.
Authoritative parenting is both a demanding and responsive way of parenting a child. The responsiveness aspect of the parenting allows for the child to still be creative and unique while offering understanding, empathy and love to the child. Responsiveness is a vital key during the child 's cognitive development as it helps guide the child on how to deal with certain things and how to act, while giving them a sense of understanding and answering their question of “Why.”The demandingness is also very important and helps lay the foundation for what is to expected of a child when they grow up and live on their own. Parents who are demanding, set age-appropriate limits and boundaries and the majority of the time those limits and boundaries have good intentions and rational reasoning. The parents
... work individually and unite to influence children outcomes. Although specific parenting behaviors, such as spanking or reading aloud, may impact child development, looking at a certain behavior in isolation may be misleading. Though parents may fluctuate in how they try to control or socialize their children, it is implicit that the prime role of all parents is to influence, guide, and control their children. Parenting style provides a robust indicator of parenting functioning that foresees child well-being across a wide spectrum of environments and across diverse communities of children. Both parental receptiveness and parental demands are vital components of parenting. Ultimately, whether parenting in authoritarian or authoritative style, the mutual goal is to raise successful and respectful children despite the vast differences in the two parenting styles.
According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of parenting is of “the process of raising and educating a child from birth to adulthood.” Have you ever pondered on how different you would be if your parents would have raised you differently? Everyone was raised differently, therefore we all will be different types of parents. We may cherish the way our parents raised and disciplined us, so we’ll utilize those techniques when we become parents. On the other side, we may despise the way our parents raised and disciplined us, therefore we’ll create our own techniques based on what we would have preferred as a child when it comes to raising our children. As a 43 year old mother, I’m proud of the way my parents raised and disciplined me and I’m proud of the way I’ve raised my daughter, nieces and nephews. As a parent, I’ve constantly asked myself, “why is parenting so hard?” At one point in time, I wondered if a mother should automatically know how to handle and raise an infant, if this is her first child. There’s a conflict when it comes to parenting. There’s a significant difference between the biological needs of a child and cultural needs that have been placed by society. For starters, we cannot say that one particular way of parenting is “the right way”. Every parent should trust their techniques of parenting as the best as long as there is no abuse involved. Permissive parenting, Authoritarian parenting and authoritative parenting are the three main parenting styles. Each parenting style is different and produce different types of results. The next few paragraphs will give an overview of these techniques and we’ll be able to compare each.
middle of paper ... ... outward acts of disapproval when expected to accomplish a task, and seldom follow thru with a given chore. Successful parenting may be judged by many different standards. Raising a child to be a respectful, mature, and independent adult requires a great deal of effort. There are several parenting styles, and not all lead a child to reaching their full potential.
As a parent I would use the Authoritative parenting style. The authoritative style stresses the importance of flexibility and one’s freedom. I feel that this style is the most fair, and shows more respect for a child as a human being. I don’t like the idea of my children fearing me because of harsh punishment. As an authoritative parent, I would encourage my child to understand that there are reasons behind rules and that they are not just obligatory. The Authoritative parenting style builds a foundation for communication, empathy, and mutual respect.
There are several different styles of parenting, authoritarian, authoritative, disengaged, and permissive, according to Diana Baumrind with different characteristics and goals. The two quantifiers of the different types of parenting are responsiveness which is the degree that parents are sensitive to their child’s needs and express love, warmth, and concern for them, and demandingness which is the degree that parents set down rules and expectations for behavior and require their children to comply with them (Arnett, 2016). These different styles of parenting produce children with different outcomes in terms of personality and behavior, and that difference is due to the amounts of responsiveness and demandingness that is present in each of the styles. These outcomes of the children will affect them their entire life, from how they raise their children to how they fit in at school and in their culture to their grades and social life.
Over the years studies have found patterns in parenting styles and their effects on children. "Parenting isn’t only a collection of skills, rules, and tricks of the trade (Lloyd, Carol. 2012)”, it defines who you become, reflects your culture and represents values important in a family. Parenting style has a long term impact on a child’s development, success and outlook on life. The three styles of parenting are permissive parenting/hands-off parenting , authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting .Studies revealed that the authoritative parenting style results in the highest success rates for their children in school and in social aspects, thus creating a stable child (Lloyd, Carol.2012).
Darling and Steinberg (1993) have defined parenting styles as “a constellation of attitudes toward the child that are communicated to the child and that taken together, create an emotional climate in which the parent’s behaviors are expressed” (p. 488). In order to fully understand how these parenting practice influence behaviors and habits on academic performance or achievement you must understand the differences between the practices. In a more concise explanation, authoritarian practices are parents who are extremely strict, admire obedience, and discourage communication between the parent-child and express low levels of warmth. Authoritative practices are parents who have rules and boundaries, open communication between themselves and the child and have an equal balance of warmth for the child. Permissive practices are parents who are warm and loving, however have no rules and boundaries, in other words, these parent have no limits or expectations for their child. Uninvolved-neglecting practices are those parents who do not impose discipline or encouragement, these parents do not engage with their child. With these definitions in mind a parent can be any one or a mixture of
Authoritarian, neglectful, permissive, and authoritative are all labels associated with one’s parenting style; it does not determine whether or not they are a bad parent. Though these styles of parenting may be appearing to one’s judgement, most parents hope for the same end result for their kids as an independent, resilient and successful child. Believe it or not, it is not how to get there but it is achieving that goal that matters. A good parent is one who nurtures for their offspring and assures they are raised in a respectable environment. Which parent will you
Lastly discipline is another very important responsibility. The best thing to do is to pick your battles, because if you are constantly saying “no” your child will tune it out. You also have to be consistent. For example, you can’t let your child eat candy before dinner one night and then tell them not to the next night, you will be sending them mixed signals.