III. Unconscious Dynamics/Core Schemas Story 1: My Suspicions of Others When I begin to experience a connection with someone, my fear of abandonment is initiated and my vulnerability causes me to become suspicious of the other person. I am aware of my deep need for acceptance but I panic because I believe that others will somehow demean me. In most cases, I view social connections as dangerous and, in my inexplicable anxiety, I attempt to sabotage the relationship while convincing myself that others do not truly care about me. Unfortunately, this leads to a pattern of avoiding emotional depth resulting in an overwhelming mistrust of others. For instance, I have always been viewed as an extroverted person because of my ability to navigate social situations with charm and articulacy. Nevertheless, when a social situation begins to deepen, and I find a person getting too close to me, I withdraw and hide parts of myself from them. I control my conversations with others so that the focus is always on their life and issues. This keeps my relationship with them at a superficial level so that I am able to hide in plain sight; I appear open and approachable without disclosing too much about myself or emotions. Consequently, because of all of my efforts to keep others out, when someone still …show more content…
The man was honest, attentive, and expressive with me. I did not trust him and spent most of our initial interactions pushing him away. I was suspicious of him so I put him through random tests where I would try to catch him being deceptive or manipulative. When I failed to prove his dishonesty, I began to ask him to do things for me, even when it was unnecessary, to gauge his level of consideration and feelings for me. Occasionally, I would purposely degrade or disrespect him to see if he could handle the worst of my tempestuous nature. When he passed my assessments, I finally began to open up to
In opposition, I have preservative ways of presenting myself. Though, once I have developed a sense of trust, I am extremely extroverted. In comparison, I also have opposing thoughts towards the way I was raised and how it affects my character. I feel as though my mother's teachings affect me both negatively and positively, I often wish that I can change the way I was
People are increasingly turning to para-social relationships because their social needs are not being met. A para-social relationship is a one sided relationship based on an illusion of a connection to another person. People who form these types of relationships can be lonely or not getting the social interactions they need. Halpern states, “The combination of loneliness and
In general, my sister and I are both loud goofballs who make jokes out of everything and find the simplest things to entertain us when we are with each other. When we are together, we are both able to have a deeper sense of our “coherent identity” and do not have to wear a mask for each other because we are not trying to seek approval from each other. However, even though we know who we are, we still have to wear a mask when we leave our house because we do not want others to know who we really are. For example, when we are around our parent’s friends, we always have to put on a smile and talk very soft and polite, even though we are having a bad day and in general are loud people because we cannot make our parents look bad or give off the impression that my sister and I were not raised correctly by our parents. Another example would be the different masks that I have when I’m in class and when I’m not in class. While in class, I am quite and do not participate in talking because growing up I was told by my elders that it was always better to listen to what others had to say in order to gain knowledge and insight instead of talking and that I should only speak up when I was confused.On the other hand, when I am outside of the classroom, I become this whole different person and start to talk more. I feel that I have gotten use to being quiet in the classroom and conformed to putting on my mask everyday that it is hard for me to not wear the mask in class because if I do not wear it, I feel that I am loosing a part of who I am. All in all, this shows how when we are not seeking approval, we are able to take off our masks and our “self-presentations [becomes] much different in character” (Gergen
Social aspects take up a big part of everyday life, therefore it is very important. Because of emotional withdrawals that can come from victim abuse, those who suffer from emotional trauma have a harder time feeling comfortable in social situations than those who had a normal childhood. Even those who have gotten over the shy part of things still struggle with finding things in common with others, trusting them, and even putting themselves out there. Especially with romantic relationships, past abuse affects as well. A source says, “Decades later, even when in a loving and supportive relationship, they still cannot erase those false scripts from their heads and wholly embrace a loving partner.” (Berman) Distrust of other people is also a prominent factor that plays a part in his or her life. “When the primary relationship is one of betrayal, a negative schema or set of beliefs develops. This negative core schema often affects an individual’s capacity to establish and sustain significant attachments throughout life.” (Blue Knot) Because someone who was supposed to bring primary support and love turned on him or her and treated them wrongly, trust levels in many relationships have a tendency to be cracked and
I can be kind of closed off and separated from people at first, but once I start to know people and approach them more then I become very open and outgoing. I feel this is a very important aspect of my life, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. One problem that comes from this aspect of me is that it makes it hard for me to meet new people because I always come off as closed off. I see Chuck Nolan as being a very outgoing person and he is not afraid to express himself, that is one difference between me and Chuck, but I feel that in time I could be more open and more approachable as a person like
The unconscious has a huge part in shaping human behavior, yet many overlook the idea behind it. This is an idea that maybe these unconscious behaviors can be used to alter the future or the past mistakes or anything in between for that matter. Everyone dreams at some point in their life and what many people don’t realize is that dreams usually develop from past experiences or from actual occurrences and thoughts. This means that if someone happened to see a guy wearing a cowboy hat with a feather in it, in one of their dreams, they most likely saw this person at some point in their life and may not have even realized it. It is impossible to create a new face in a dream. In Inception (2009), Christopher Nolan portrays Dom Cobb as a special operative whose life mirrors a Freudian psychological reality in which his repressed guilt leads to self-destructive behavior.
I have a small circle of friends of which two know me fully, and am a firm believer in, "you only know what I wish to show or tell you." I spend a large amount of time observing others, reading, and or seeing through people which is a big part of my friend selection process. In friendships, I am often told that no one can tell what may be on my mind, often dubbed as a reserved and unfeeling individual at first glance, but an extremely caring individual once I am engaged in conversation, as well as a very complex individual who thrives on being mysterious and purposefully leaves everyone guessing.
I keep my emotions in and relaxed and I am usually very secure and sure of myself even with a large group of people.
Glasser believes that humans are genetically social creatures and need other people. He suggests that the cause of almost all psychological symptoms is an inability to get along with the important peopl...
With some degree of differences, every individual has their own capacity to form and maintain relationships. Some people naturally form and maintain close and caring relationships, but unfortunately, some others are not.
Especially towards people I don't know very well. However, people who I call my friends, know me as a very lively and talkative person.
When I am entirely enthralled by an individual, I exhibit sense a naivety. In that situation, it became difficult for me to detect dangerous vibe this individual was emitting as I was intoxicated by the euphoria of love. In the beginning, it was not apparent that this person was using similar techniques to those I would normally utilize for personal gain. They would swoon me with sweet words, and strengthen my confidence. However, once I admitted my desire to begin a relationship with this individual they lashed out at me, stating that they were only using me for the sexual benefits. Those words shattered me completely, and it took nearly four months to regain a stable mentality. Until recently, I was fueled for my hatred of them and my disgust in their actions. When suddenly, it dawned on me that I have behaved similar to that individual in the past. Although, I have never manipulated anyone for sexual benefits, I have coerced people into emotionally rescuing me. Through this realization, I have let go of my distain for this person, and begun working on improving my relationship with The Damsel
The buildup and the possible breakdown, which is known as social depenetration, is explained. My past relationships have begun and ended in this way. I will use my last relationship as an example because it is the most fresh in my mind. It started off with shallow superficial things. There was physical attraction, I like the way she looked and carried herself. I enjoyed the same hobbies as well as the movies she watched. Then we eventually started disclosing more personal information. We had deeper talks such as life goals. I feel that these are the “honeymoon” stages, when it’s all about fun. Things started to get serious, and she implied that we live together. At first I was a little hesitant, because I was afraid that there were things about me that may ruin the smooth relationship we were having. As the theory insists, this feelings of discomfort stemmed from the “Self-Concept” factor. I was worried that the way I lived was not up to her expectations. One example would be my level of organization. In comparison to my Jitchan, I am not the tidiest person. She was, in my opinion, a high maintenance girl, but after living with her for a month, I could see that the way she presented herself in public didn’t correlate with the tidiness of her home. I had mix feeling on that one, I was glad that my tidiness was not a problem, although her untidiness signaled possible future
Trait approach covers the big five personality traits: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to experience. These five traits have been identified as the most identifiable personality traits, even across cultures and societies. According to McCrae, Costa, and Busch’s (1986) study on personality system comprehensiveness, the big five personality model included the five traits most identified with by individuals asked to describe themselves and others. I found this segment of the class especially intriguing as it helped me not only learn so much about myself, but also take a deeper look into the personality of my family, peers, and even strangers. I am also more conscious of how I self-monitor my personality traits. For example, I am very much so an introverted person but at times I try to be extroverted based off the environment. In highly social environments, I consciously smile and try to talk to people because I want to be perceived in a favorable light, not actually because I feel the need to be sociable. In other words, I don’t want to be perceived as odd. I believe I developed this form of self-monitoring because when I am introverted at social events people will constantly ask me if I’m ok since I’m quiet, which makes me uncomfortable as they make me the focus. Being the center of attention makes me anxious, and therefore to prevent that I have developed being a fake-extrovert to avoid it. This exemplified how I apply self-monitoring to my everyday life. Trait approach gave me insight into how to identify vastly accepted personality traits, as well as, how each of these traits can be influenced and
The first letter in my personality “type” is for the descriptor “Extraverted”. This shows to be a very large part of my personality. I can attest to the fact that I am very outgoing and do enjoy being the center of attention. This has allowed me to be comfortably assertive when I am needing to be with clients and coworkers but has a shadow side that has often backfired at times when I should just be quiet and keep my mouth shut.