Unconscious Dynamics/Core Schemas: Story 1: My Suspicions Of Others

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III. Unconscious Dynamics/Core Schemas Story 1: My Suspicions of Others When I begin to experience a connection with someone, my fear of abandonment is initiated and my vulnerability causes me to become suspicious of the other person. I am aware of my deep need for acceptance but I panic because I believe that others will somehow demean me. In most cases, I view social connections as dangerous and, in my inexplicable anxiety, I attempt to sabotage the relationship while convincing myself that others do not truly care about me. Unfortunately, this leads to a pattern of avoiding emotional depth resulting in an overwhelming mistrust of others. For instance, I have always been viewed as an extroverted person because of my ability to navigate social situations with charm and articulacy. Nevertheless, when a social situation begins to deepen, and I find a person getting too close to me, I withdraw and hide parts of myself from them. I control my conversations with others so that the focus is always on their life and issues. This keeps my relationship with them at a superficial level so that I am able to hide in plain sight; I appear open and approachable without disclosing too much about myself or emotions. Consequently, because of all of my efforts to keep others out, when someone still …show more content…

The man was honest, attentive, and expressive with me. I did not trust him and spent most of our initial interactions pushing him away. I was suspicious of him so I put him through random tests where I would try to catch him being deceptive or manipulative. When I failed to prove his dishonesty, I began to ask him to do things for me, even when it was unnecessary, to gauge his level of consideration and feelings for me. Occasionally, I would purposely degrade or disrespect him to see if he could handle the worst of my tempestuous nature. When he passed my assessments, I finally began to open up to

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