The Bonesetter's Daughter

Storytelling has been used as a focal point of Chinese culture for thousands of years. Before there was writing people would transfer information through the art of speaking, thus storytelling has become the foundation of many cultures. Without storytelling we would have no idea about history. Oral communication is subjective, because of the way people remember stories, and retell them to others. In both The Bonesetter’s Daughter and The Kitchen God’s Wife, Amy Tan describes the unbreakable bond between mothers and daughters through their storytelling.

In The Bonesetter’s Daughter, Ruth’s relationship with her mother suffers because she knows very little about her mother’s history. As people grow up they often grow apart from their parents,

especially when the relationship is not very strong to begin with. Ruth’s mother, LuLing, complains that Ruth is, “too busy for Mother. Never too busy go to see movie, go away, go see friend” (14). Ruth does not want to spend less time with her mother because her mother embarrasses her; she just has trouble connecting with her. LuLing is an only parent to a single daughter, so for her, spending time with Ruth is very important. LuLing does not have any real siblings, and her mother died at a young age, therefore Ruth is her only blood relative. LuLing feels hurt that her only heir to her legacy does not want to connect with her Chinese heritage. Because Ruth feels her mother is overpowering, as a form of escape, Ruth spends a lot of her childhood studying. Ruth’s mother respects her studies, “If she interrupted her, all Ruth had to do was say, ‘Shh! I’m reading.’ And almost always, her mother fell quiet. Ruth read a lot” (114). First generation Chinese parents tend to push their children both academically and extracurricular activities. LuLing pushes Ruth to practice Chinese characters and study Chinese culture, but when it comes to secular schoolwork, she trusts Ruth to study well on her own. Ruth does not want to interact with her mother, not only because LuLing is controlling, but also because she is very negative. LuLing constantly talks about death, and as a result, “Ruth [thinks] about death every day, sometimes many times a day. She [thinks] everyone must secretly do the same, but no one [talks] openly about it except her mother” (112). Thinking about death is common to some humans as some find it intriguing and others find it fearful. Ruth only sees the negative aspects of her mother’s preoccupation with death. LuLing is comfortable with death because the Chinese culture honors the dead. To avoid an angry ghost haunting, a Chinese family will build a shrine like memorial to honor the deceased family member. The American culture deals with death in a mournful way, which is why Ruth does not understand her mother’s preoccupation. Ruth’s lack of knowledge of the Chinese culture and her mother’s history distances her from her mother.
In an effort to shorten the generation gap between Ruth and LuLing, LuLing must share her story with Ruth. LuLing’s story shapes her life and in further aspects shapes Ruth’s life too. After reading the story of LuLing’s life in China Ruth feels like she, “found the magic thread to mend a torn up quilt. It’s wonderful and sad at the same time” (322). The mystery of not knowing makes one strive to keep looking for the answer, and once the answer has been detected there is no more mystery revealing her mother’s past is both bitter and sweet for Ruth because discovering her own heritage and mother’s history is exciting but knowing the hardships LuLing went through is heart breaking. The discovery of Ruth’s heritage finally makes her feel as though she has a real family. When she hears the name of her grandmother, Ruth realizes that, “precious Auntie belonged to a family. LuLing belonged to that same family, and Ruth belonged to them both” (364-5). Ruth is now able to understand her mother because she has a feeling of belonging. Once she realizes that she has more to her legacy than just her aging mother, she finally feels comfortable with herself. Some people have trouble connecting with others because they are not comfortable enough with themselves. LuLing’s story inspires Ruth to feel a deep connection with her Chinese identity.
Similar to The Bonesetter’s Daughter, Amy Tan’s more recent and famous novel, The Kitchen God’s Wife, demonstrates the importance of storytelling to strengthen the relationship between mother and daughter. Winnie’s decision to tell the secrets of her past to her daughter opens a new relationship for them. Winnie’s relationship with her daughter Pearl is far from ideal. Pearl can never understand why, but, “whenever [her] mother talks to [her], she begins the conversation as if [they] were already in the middle of an argument” (11). This story exemplifies how some mothers can be very short tempered. Amy Tan has written many novels that all support the idea that Chinese mothers have a “tough love” compassion for their children. Children find it difficult to approach their mothers when they are not sure of the reaction. Pearl does not want to tell her mother that she is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis because she thinks Winnie will think of her as an imperfection. Just as Pearl is afraid to disappoint her mother, Winnie is afraid to disappoint her daughter. Pearl describes a word, ying-gai, which, “was what [her] mother always said when she meant, I should have. Ying-gai meant she should have altered the direction of fate, she should have prevented disaster” (29). Both Winnie and Pearl have high expectations for one another, which fuels their weak relationship. Winnie needs to tell her daughter her story not only to strengthen their relationship, but also to allow Pearl the opportunity to tell her mother the secret she has been keeping.
Winnie and Pearl’s relationship becomes stronger as Winnie shares her story.

Having lost her mother at a young age, Winnie had a rough childhood. She never knew what it was like to have a real mother, which always made her feel as though she was missing something. Because of her loss, Winnie promises to herself to always be there for her children. However, when her husband becomes a threat, she has to let her babies die, feeling that, “in [her] heart, [she] was being kind” (312). Being that Winnie is a victim to her husband’s rape, she has no choice but to abort the unwanted children. As Winnie continues to tell her story to Pearl, she feels more comfortable to share the uncomfortable truth about her life. While Winnie tells the truth, Pearl is forced to hear about the pain her mother went through in her first marriage. Winnie leaves out no details as she explains the worst night of her marriage when, her husband “cursed and called [her] all kinds of bad names, the same ones he had used throughout [their] marriage: ‘Whore! Fox devil! Traitor!’ Whiskey smells poured out of his mouth. [Winnie] did not protest. But [she] also did not act afraid. [She] let these insults roll over [her]” (307). Although Winnie wants to preserve the innocence of her daughter she feels it is crucial for Pearl to know the terrible life she had in China. Telling her story makes Winnie feel stronger because she is finally able to tell Pearl the truth. Being truthful is one of the most important

aspects to having a strong relationship. Storytelling is the reason Winnie and Pearl is able to rebuild the relationship.
Once Winnie shares her life story with Pearl, she is ready to share the biggest secret of all.

For people to feel comfortable sharing secrets they have to have a strong understanding for one another, which is why it is hard for Winnie to share with Pearl the truth about her father. After sharing immense details about her history, Winnie tells Pearl that Wen Fu, the evil man who tormented Winnie’s life, is her father. Although Pearl has just heard such horrific news she says, “[She] was giddy. Here [her] mother had told [her] the tragedy of her life. Here [Pearl] had just been told that Wen Fu might well be the other half of [her] genetic makeup. Yet [Pearl and Winnie] were laughing” (400). Usually mothers and daughters are born with a strong connection, but in this case Winnie and Pearl have to build it. Winnie’s ability to share her story with her daughter helps their relationship grow immensely. Now that Pearl has built the trust with her mother she is ready to share her secret about having multiple sclerosis. Unfortunately her mother is not as calm to hear bad news as she had been. Winnie is furious, “Wen Fu gave you this disease!’ She cried. ‘He caused this to happen”’(401). Winnie irrationally blames her ex-husband for Pearl’s illness. Pearl is able to understand why Winnie is overreacting to hearing the bad news because she knows her mother’s story. Had Winnie not told her daughter all her secrets; she would not have been able to explain why she is so upset over the

diagnosis. Pearl is able to understand her mother’s fear of regret, and Winnie is able to tell her daughter the truth about her real father because storytelling brought them closer together.
Sometimes it is easier to keep one’s story a secret, but as Amy Tan proves in both her novels, The Bonesetter’s Daughter and The Kitchen God’s Wife, the best relationships come after one’s story is told. Before Ruth and Pearl know about their mothers’ past, they find it hard to truly appreciate everything their mothers’ do. After LuLing and Winnie tell their stories to their children, their relationships with their daughters are no longer inhibited. In modern times relationships between mothers and daughters are growing weaker because mothers are finding it harder to communicate with their children. Amy Tan teaches her readers that the most important aspect to any relationship is forming a connection. With technology and social media it is harder to communicate in person but no obstacle is too big to overcome. Hopefully the art of storytelling is never lost, and mothers and daughters can continue to strengthen their relationships by sharing their stories with each other.