From when we are first aware of how society affects us, we are taught to behave in a way that is “typical” of our gender, but this is particularly true for boys. In Emily W. Kane’s article, “No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That!” Parent’s Responses to Children’s Gender Nonconformity, this is present in the distinct differences between the perception of femininity and masculinity that are observed in the parents’ responses to their children’s gender nonconformity. The key concepts of the article are the reactions in gender nonconformity, specifically in boys, and although it is not discussed at length, there is a clear devaluation of femininity through hegemonic masculinity.
Perhaps the most interesting concept of the article is the different
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ways that femininity and masculinity are enforced.
From my own personal experience, I don’t remember ever being pressured into acting a certain way as a young girl, but rather I remember being allowed to play with trucks and other “boy’s toys” with my brother, while I can’t remember an instance when our parents encouraged him to play with my Barbies. They always bought him Spiderman and Hulk shirts, while I got to wear whatever colour I wanted to. This is reflected in the article, as for the most part the gender conformity of girls is left unregulated throughout much of their childhood, boys seem to be placed in a rather rigid construction of masculinity even before they know what masculinity is. The fact that there is such a stigma surrounding boys adopting what are considered female behaviours arouses more concerning notions of the devaluation of femininity. While girls are allowed to play with any kind of toys and express their emotions, like I was, …show more content…
boys are seen as weak or as one father puts it, “a sissy” (Kane 176), for doing the same things. From a young age boys are enforced to behave in certain ways; as if masculinity is something that has to be taught. To reinforce this idea that it is socially constructed, many parents in this study reported that while some children seemed to inherently behave “boyishly”, they “reported efforts to craft hegemonic masculinity” (178). One could argue that being reprimanded for “feminine” behaviour is presenting young boys with the idea that acting like a girl is wrong, creating a stigma against women, and perpetuating a patriarchal society where women are seen as lesser, instead of equals. While reading this article, I was reminded of a group of girls from my childhood. Two of my (female) friends dressed in men’s clothing, one starting at around eleven years old, and the way she dressed went relatively unnoticed, and she didn’t experience any discrimination from classmates or her parents. Another friend followed this trend the next year, at twelve, and continued until she was fifteen. By this point, the first friend had stopped, and as we came into adolescence she actually joined in with others in making fun of her for dressing in a nonconforming manner, as she was now expected to behave “more like a girl”. She eventually stopped because of the pressure of the people around her, despite being more comfortable in men’s clothing. With these girls, the enforcement of femininity was clearly much different, as it was only reinforced as we got older and one still would not conform. At the same time, I can imagine that there would be a much more negative reaction if a boy, at any age, decided to begin dressing like a girl. If this were the case, his gender identity as well as sexuality would have come into question, while I never heard such concerns from my friends’ parents, nor our peers, when they were young girls who dressed in men’s clothing. This is consistent with what is mentioned in the article, as there was mention of parents enjoying dressing their daughters in “sporty clothing” (174), but not allowing their boys to wear stereotypically feminine clothing such as dresses or skirts (176). The experiences of my friends, as well as myself and many others, indicated some the issues that gender nonconformity in a society that idealizes hegemonic masculinity can create.
This raises the question: why is deviating from the norm so wrong? To me, the answer to this question is that society is what is wrong, not the behaviour of the children. As the author suggests, it is necessary that heterosexual fathers are involved to find a solution to “broaden the normative conceptions of masculinity and challenge the devaluation of femininity” (180). The solution isn’t to teach children that they have to behave in a way that is predetermined by what parts they were born with, but rather changing a society that believes your sex determines how you should behave, and we need men and women to do this. It is something that should be looked at critically and challenged by feminism, as it is an issue that is preventing society from truly becoming equals. The ways in which hegemonic masculinity devalue femininity, and in the process reprimand gender nonconformity, particularly in boys, are quite concerning, and are a sign that despite the progress feminist movements have made, there is much left to be desired, and the ways to change it are within our
reach.
Boys have to hide their true selves and feelings to fit in, but in society expect men to be both tough and gentle, and be able to express their feeling, try to not hide behind the mask. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. It is apparent through my though that this essay is a good source to research or write an essay and can be teach. This essay helps parents learn more about their children feeling and grow into manhood to become real men.
“Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls”: few of our cultural mythologies seem as natural as this one. But in this exploration of the gender signals that traditionally tell what a “boy” or “girl” is supposed to look and act like, Aaron Devor shows how these signals are not “natural” at all but instead are cultural constructs. While the classic cues of masculinity—aggressive posture, self-confidence, a tough appearance—and the traditional signs of femininity—gentleness, passivity, strong nurturing instincts—are often considered “normal,” Devor explains that they are by no means biological or psychological necessities. Indeed, he suggests, they can be richly mixed and varied, or to paraphrase the old Kinks song “Lola,” “Boys can be girls and girls can be boys.” Devor is dean of social sciences at the University of Victoria and author of Gender Blending: Confronting the Limits of Duality (1989), from which this selection is excerpted, and FTM: Female-to-Male Transsexuals in Society (1997).
Even though our country supports equality in gender, differences still exist. This issue of gender and sexuality of our society has had one of the biggest impacts in my life since I was raised with five brothers. Since birth, I was immediately perceived by my parents as my gender role of girl and daughter. My brothers were given action figures, cars, and guns to play with. I was given the traditional girl toys Barbies, baby dolls and kitchen sets. Of course, I enjoyed my traditional girl toys but it might have been nice to have a choice and be able to have the same toys as my brothers to play with. I eventually concluded that I should be satisfied with whatever toys were given to me by my parents.
First off, I will describe the role the toys are playing when it comes to the socialization process for boys and girls. The masculine wrestling action figures and construction vehicles are showing boy 's their gender roles. In the book, “You May Ask Yourself”, defines social roles as “the concept of gender roles, set of behavioral norms assumed to accompany one’s status as male or female” (Conley, pg 130). In the store it is fairly easy for parents to find which part of the store will fit their kids gender roles. For parents with young boys, all they have to do is look for the blue in the store. When looking for the girl toys, parents just need to find the pink. Parents are actively doing gender in their child
It is widely accepted that masculine is synonymous with male and feminine with female. While it is typical for males to enjoy typically masculine activities, it is seen negatively when males enjoy a typically feminine activity. Not only is it seen as a bad thing, but young boys are often bullied or even punished for liking something that is seen as feminine. Girls are also often shunned for liking anything associated with masculine hobbies, usually having to prove that they “are not like like other girls”, insinuating that even girls who happen to like feminine activities are not to be sought after in this particular social system. Doctor Vanessa Cullins from Planned Parenthood talks about how children learn from a young age how they are supposed to fit into our social system and how damaging that can be during adolescence while the children try to create their own identity. I chose this topic because I think that we, as a society, do not think into this issue too deeply and yet it persists in our everyday lives.
In Katha Pollitt’s essay “Why Boys Don’t Play with Dolls,” she explains the differences between the genders and she argues how feminist movements are hardly appreciated. Pollitt further demonstrates that women’s have the same power as any men have, but society doesn’t let women get higher than men. Pollitt explains that, “It’s twenty-eight years since the founding of NOW, and boys still like trucks and girls still like dolls” (544). From here, we can infer that the author is comparing the activities of boys and girls, and their choices of toys. Since, I am able to read and see the World, I saw that all the time that boys are more rivalry. There have always been presumptions in society that boys are very outgoing and bold, on the other hand, whereas girls are a little laid back sometimes. Girls play quietly and with non-hunting objects. However, boys always make noises. In addition, Pollitt keeps using the word “feminism” throughout her essay, and talks about how women and men should have equal rights. For example girls can do the same things as boys can do or vice versa. I can relate to this story as I grew up with two brothers who always played with cars, trucks, and other toys like dragons, but I was expected to stay away from their things and go play with my, so called, girly stuff.
Throughout the book Pollack encourages parents to take time with their sons in helping them express their feelings while showing them empathy and love. Pollack discusses the ways parents can help their boys escape from the gender straightjacket that is imposed upon them. Pollack exposes myths that negatively portray boys as macho creatures shaped by testosterone with no social skills. He instead presents examples of boys who are emphatic as a result of nurturing parents and educates the reader to be aware that boys express their love through action and work. Pollack includes chapters regarding the different but equally important role of mothers and fathers in bringing up their sons.
All around the world society has created an ideological perspective for the basis of gender roles. Gender and sex are often times misused and believed to be interchangeable. This is not the case. There are two broad generalization of sexes; female and male, yet there is a vast number of gender roles that each sex should more or less abide by. The routinely cycle of socially acceptable behaviors and practices is what forms the framework of femininity and masculinity. The assigned sex categories given at birth have little to do with the roles that a person takes on. Biological differences within females and males should not be used to construe stereotypes or discriminate within different groups. Social variables such as playing with dolls or
Throughout today’s society, almost every aspect of someone’s day is based whether or not he or she fits into the “norm” that has been created. Specifically, masculine and feminine norms have a great impact that force people to question “am I a true man or woman?” After doing substantial research on the basis of masculine or feminine norms, it is clear that society focuses on the males being the dominant figures. If males are not fulfilling the masculine role, and females aren’t playing their role, then their gender identity becomes foggy, according to their personal judgment, as well as society’s.
‘Boys will be boys’, a phrase coined to exonerate the entire male sex of loathsome acts past, present, and potential. But what about the female sex, if females act out of turn they are deemed ‘unladylike’ or something of the sort and scolded. This double standard for men and women dates back as far as the first civilizations and exists only because it is allowed to, because it is taught. Gender roles and cues are instilled in children far prior to any knowledge of the anatomy of the sexes. This knowledge is learned socially, culturally, it is not innate. And these characteristics can vary when the environment one is raised in differs from the norm. Child rearing and cultural factors play a large role in how individuals act and see themselves.
Therefore, the constrictive American ideals of male and female gender identities inhibits growth and acceptance of gender expression. Each gender is separated by rules and guidelines that they must abide by. This, in turn, creates inner tensions that inhibit personal growth. For males, this may be, or is, an extraordinarily arduous task. More often than not, it is other male figures, such as the father, that administer and enforce these certain rules.
Gender-neutral parenting is a method for raising children, used by parents who have a passion to teach non-sexism and social justice to their children (Dumas 2014). It is rooted in a desire to maintain a child’s individuality and offer more outlets for self-exploration. For example, parents do not restrict their child, regardless of a boy or girl, to wear pink or blue, play with Barbie dolls or fire engines. Parents allow their child to freely explore what they are passionate about without attaching any labels. The concept of raising children with gender-neutral identities is considered feminist and extremely radical. Butler (1990) argues that gender is performative, arguing that the naturalness of gender is something that we do rather than something we are. Parents have the most influence on the gendering of children during infancy, foremost in handling expectations for behavior. They are also responsible for their own behavior as it related to the treatment of
According to Kate Bornstein and their work Gender Outlaw, “the first question we usually ask new parents is: Is it a boy or a girl?” (46). This question creates a sense of a rigid dichotomy, by which individuals must outwardly conform to either being male or female. Individuals who do not prescribe to this binary concept of gender identity find themselves ostracized from much of society – ignored, ridiculed, and laughed at as an insignificant minority. For this group of people, “either/or is used as a control mechanism,” creating a normative group by which power can be derived from (102). According to Bornstein, the concept of the gender binary being the “natural state of affairs” is one of the most dangerous thoughts proliferated about gender within modern society (105). For individuals who do not conform to this socially created structure, they are seen as opposing the natural order of things, and subsequently, their power is stripped by society, and they are deemed as unnatural and inhuman. These oppressive labels create intense feelings of gender dissonance, and the pressure to conform can often overwhelm the individual, directly resulting in often horrific
Masculinity and femininity are two terms, which have been interpreted differently throughout history. Both the males and the females have responsibilities and duties but these duties differ based on one’s gender. Gender has played a prodigious role in the economy, politics, and the society. Everyone starts making interpretations of the strengths and weaknesses based on one’s gender. These interpretations are not always based on his or her ability but is usually based on his or her gender. Males tend to be judged as extremely strong and unfashionable in terms of appearance. Whereas, females are judged as expensive and very fashionable. Males and females both differ in their abilities and their enjoyments. Fashion, entertainment, and strength are three topics, which are used to define masculinity and femininity in the 21st century.
“Healthy Children”, an online website source by The American Academy of Pediatrics, comments that “As your child develops her own identity during these early years, she’s bound to experiment with attitudes and behaviors of both sexes, there’s rarely any reason to discourage such impulses” (“The American Academy”). The new myth will allow a boy to wear dresses every day or a girl to only wear sport shorts, without being judged or discriminated. Americans and kids will not be judged on gender rather by who they are and how they define themselves. In the future, children will not grow up thinking that there are qualities certain genders need to follow you can have any qualities, a boy will not be judged if he cries and being passionate will not be considered feminine. Americans will be able to establish their gender identity