Grief is one of the most unfortunate inevitabilities of humankind. Everyone reaches a point in their life during which someone close to them dies, and it is only a matter of time before we, too, experience this fate. Holding such a prevalent place in society, it comes as no surprise that loss and mourning are often written about in a variety of contexts. One of the most well-known grief narratives published to date is that which C. S. Lewis wrote following the death of his wife. Originally published under a pseudonym to avoid recognition, A Grief Observed is an incredibly intimate piece of literature that explores the interplay of grief amidst the death of a spouse and how that changes one’s relationship with the self, with others, and with …show more content…
Lewis believes that his mere presence causes other married couples to consider their own mortality, saying “Whenever I meet a happily married pair I can feel them both thinking, ‘One of us must some day be as he is now’” (Lewis 9). He brings a new sort of weight into interactions that were not present before. It forces those around him to reconsider their own lives and relationships, which can be an incredibly burdensome role. One aspect of mourning in relation to others that is mentioned in A Grief Observed is shame. This is often misattributed as, or misconstrued to be, guilt, though the difference between the two phenomena is stark. Dr. Unal describes guilt as the perceived failure to conform to one’s expectations for themselves, while shame is the failure to meet the expectations that one believes have been thrust upon them by others (Loss Across Time and Cultures 13:30). The social pressure to keep grief silent and unseen by one’s surrounding humans is the perfect environment for shame to flourish. Knowing this, and knowing that Lewis’ culture highlights the importance of dealing with issues alone, the feelings of embarrassment that he experiences around others, is completely …show more content…
Niemeyer, it is argued that “[t]o protect ourselves from the pain and restore the order, security, and predictability we felt in our lives, we strive to find reasons for what has happened” (Gillies and Niemeyer 37). Part of this search for meaning or reason is blame. It is natural to feel anger, and when there is nobody at which to direct it, God often becomes a substitute. This is the case, at least partially, for Lewis. He turns his frustration towards God, expressing that he cannot understand why a deity that is supposed to be benevolent would make this happen to someone so good. Although he does eventually restore his own trust in faith, it is morbidly fascinating to watch Davidman’s death force Lewis to reconsider one of the strongest tenets of his belief. Death is a vehicle for change, both internal and external. A Grief Observed exemplifies both circumstances. Lewis goes through a variety of internal changes; reexamining and redefining what God and his faith mean to him, allowing his relationship with and view of himself to change, and accepting the mental reframing of his relationship with Davidman are chief among these. Externally, Lewis must come to terms with the changing of his relationship with everyone around
In “Whoever We Are, Loss Finds us and Defines Us”, by Anna Quindlen, she brings forth the discussion grief's grip on the lives of the living. Wounds of death can heal with the passing of time, but in this instance, the hurt lives on. Published in New York, New York on June 5, 1994, this is one of many Quindlen published in the New York Times, centered on death's aftermath. This article, written in response to the death of Quindlen’s sister-in-law, and is focused on an audience who has, currently is, or will experience death. Quindlen-a columnist for the New York Times and Newsweek, Pulitzer Prize winner and author-has written six bestselling novels (Every Last One, Rise and Shine, Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue) and has been published in the New York Times and Newsweek.
C.S. Lewis is commonly regarded as one of the most influential Christian apologists during his time. While many recognize him as the writer of “The Chronicles of Narnia,” he was also an out-spoken Christian. He commonly wrote pieces of work that challenged Christians in their faith as well as in their lives. He wrote many non-fiction novels that dealt with this sort of behavior, including “Mere Christianity,” “Miracles,” and “The Problem of Pain.” Even in some of his fictional novels, his writing had many Christian themes as well. Despite being well-known for his novels, he also wrote many poems as well. His poetry dealt with many different subject matters, including morals, war, science fiction, and Christianity. Almost all of his poetry
“Pass On” written by Michael Lee is a free verse poem informing readers on grief, which is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome not only when losing a loved one, but also in life itself. “Pass On” successfully developed this topic through the setting of an unknown character who explains his or her experience of grief. Despite Lee never introducing this character, readers are given enough information to know how they are overcoming this difficult obstacle. In fact, this unknown character is most likely the writer himself, indirectly explaining his moments of grief. One important piece of information Lee provides is the fact that he has experienced loss twice, one with his grandfather and the other a friend who was murdered by the
We all deal with death in our lives, and that is why Michael Lassell’s “How to Watch Your Brother Die” identifies with so many readers. It confronts head on the struggles of dealing with death. Lassell writes the piece like a field guide, an instruction set for dealing with death, but the piece is much more complex than its surface appearance. It touches on ideas of acceptance, regret, and misunderstanding to name a few. While many of us can identify with this story, I feel like the story I brought into the text has had a much deeper and profound impact. I brought the story of my grandmother’s death to the text and it completely changed how I analyzed this text and ultimately came to relate with it. I drew connections I would have never have drawn from simply reading this story once.
Tuesdays with Morrie is a book about and old college sociology professor who gives us insight not only on death, but also on other topics important in our lives like fear, marriage, and forgiveness while in his last days being on Earth. Using symbolic interactionism I will analyze one of Morrie’s experiences; while also explaining why I chose such an experience and why I felt it was all connected. Seven key concepts will be demonstrated as well to make sure you can understand how powerful Morrie’s messages truly are. The one big message I took from Morrie was to learn how to live and not let anything hold you back
Loss. Grief. Mourning. Anger. Disbelief. Emotions are in abundance when a loved one passes away. People need to find a way to cope with the situations and often need to express themselves by writing their feelings down in order to get them out. This is exactly what Paul Monette does in his book of poetry title “Love Alone” in remembrance of his companion Rog. Through writing his poetry Monette describes his emotions and the events that occurred during Rog’s battle with AIDS. By Monette’s transitioning through different emotions, the reader begins to understand the pain the author is dealt. Touching upon Kubler-Ross’ five stages of death including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, Monette transitions to Rog’s decline in health. Using different fonts and no punctuation, the lines are interpreted by the reader using instincts to know when to begin and end a sentence. Evident in the poems “The Very Same”, “The Half-life”, and “Current Status”, Monette gives a description of loss that makes the reader tingle.
At some point in everybody’s life they feel the sorrow and anguish of losing somebody. The the stories “Nashville Gone to Ashes” and “When It’s Human Instead of When It’s Dog”, both a widow and widower are not able to move on with their life after the loss of their loved one. In both cases the mister and the widow both come to the conclusion that their significant other is not coming back leading them to find ways to cope with their deaths, move on and function the best they can with their lives.
Through an intimate maternal bond, Michaels mother experiences the consequences of Michaels decisions, weakening her to a debilitating state of grief. “Once he belonged to me”; “He was ours,” the repetition of these inclusive statements indicates her fulfilment from protecting her son and inability to find value in life without him. Through the cyclical narrative structure, it is evident that the loss and grief felt by the mother is continual and indeterminable. Dawson reveals death can bring out weakness and anger in self and with others. The use of words with negative connotations towards the end of the story, “Lonely,” “cold,” “dead,” enforce the mother’s grief and regressing nature. Thus, people who find contentment through others, cannot find fulfilment without the presence of that individual.
Imagine that the person you love most in the world dies. How would you cope with the loss? Death and grieving is an agonizing and inevitable part of life. No one is immune from death’s insidious and frigid grip. Individuals vary in their emotional reactions to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve (Huffman, 2012, p.183), it is a melancholy ordeal, but a necessary one (Johnson, 2007). In the following: the five stages of grief, the symptoms of grief, coping with grief, and unusual customs of mourning with particular emphasis on mourning at its most extravagant, during the Victorian era, will all be discussed in this essay (Smith, 2014).
Often when a person suffers through a tragic loss of a loved one in his or her life they never fully recover to move on. Death is one of hardest experiences a person in life ever goes through. Only the strong minded people are the ones that are able to move on from it whereas the weak ones never recover from the loss of a loved one. In the novel The Sweet Hereafter by Russell Banks, character Billy Ansel – having lost his family serves as the best example of brokenness after experiencing death. Whether it is turning to substance abuse, using his memory to escape reality or using Risa Walker as a sexual escape, Billy Ansel never fully recovers from the death of his twins and his wife. This close analysis of Billy’s struggle with death becomes an important lesson for all readers. When dealing with tragedies humans believe they have the moral strength to handle them and move on by themselves but, what they do not realize is that they need someone by their side to help them overcome death. Using unhealthy coping mechanism only leads to life full of grief and depression.
Through the death of the speaker’s father in the poem, the suffering on behalf of those who survive after a loved one has passed is highlighted in this work. Death has an immense way of obstructing the physical and biological needs of those left in its wake. Using the psychological criticism analysis one can determine that the motivation behind the poem was mourning the death of the father as a means for the speaker to cope so that their own needs for emotional expression, love, and esteem can be
“Successive Deaths” by Adelia Prado is a complex poem that deals with death, grievance, and rebirth. Prado uses free verse in her poem to express the grievance she felt of losing the three most important and influential people in her life. Losing her sister, her mother, and her father while also going through the physical changes of puberty is difficult to deal with but in the end she recalls those moments in an effort to move on from her grief. Prado begins her poem with the remembrance of her sisters death. When my sister died, I cried a great deal And was quickly consoled.
Alice Munro’s “Memorial” is one of a group of stories in the larger work, Something I’ve Been Meaning to Tell You, which explores the limitations of human emotion and understanding in its attempt to deal with reality and death. Consequently, Munro’s use of third-person narration focalized through Eileen signifies her difficulty of dealing with emotions especially during times of bereavement. As “Memorial” is focalized around Eileen, the reader views the world through her eyes in which June becomes an antipathetic character. The relationship between Eileen and June is strained due to the way of life each sister currently lives as well as their relationship with their parents during their childhood. The Analepsis episodes of their youth signify
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest experiences every person must go through. The experience does not end with the loss though, but begins with it. The loss of a dear person leads those left behind into a downward spiral of emotions and memories. A poem entitled “Lucy Gray” by William Wordsworth focuses on that loss and the emotions that follow it. By reading the poem one can objectively experience both the grief that Lucy Gray’s death brings on but also her parents’ acceptance of her death.
Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden is a short poem that illustrates the emotions that he is dealing with after the love of his life passes away. The tone of this piece evokes feelings that will differ depending on the reader; therefore, the meaning of this poem is not in any way one-dimensional, resulting in inevitable ambiguity . In order to evoke emotion from his audience, Auden uses a series of different poetic devices to express the sadness and despair of losing a loved one. This poem isn’t necessarily about finding meaning or coming to some overwhelming realization, but rather about feeling emotions and understanding the pain that the speaker is experiencing. Through the use of poetic devices such as an elegy, hyperboles, imagery, metaphors, and alliterations as well as end-rhyme, Auden has created a powerful poem that accurately depicts the emotions a person will often feel when the love of their live has passed away.