Summary: A Day Without Feminism

“A Day Without Feminism “ by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards.

It was my senior year of high school, I was sixteen, getting ready to turn seventeen. It was my senior year of high school. I was not your typical girl wearing makeup everyday and worrying about getting dolled up for school. I did not play sports. Don’t get me wrong, I would get all dolled up if I had something special to do like go to a school dance. I had a part time job at Olive garden because my parents motto was “if you do not play a sport you need to work!” My mom used to say to me “you know Alana back in my time I was not able to work so you are very lucky you're able to work.

Unfortunately one day my girlfriend was begging me to come hang out

with her and her boyfriend and one of his friends. He was twenty-one years old, to this day I do not understand why he wanted to date me. I refused to meet him for a couple of months and when I ended up at a party with him thanks to my girlfriend and her boyfriend, he was there. He took me outside he made me laugh immediately, after I almost spit my drink in his face from laughing so hard I loosened up to him and we talked all night, Eventually we started talking to each every day. One month later I got pregnant with my son. I was shocked, I was on birth control and never missed a day. All I could think about is my catholic mom is going to kill me. On the contrary my mom is liberal but also conservative She grew up in Massachusetts in a catholic Portuguese family. She was very persistent in the fact that she not believe in abortion, she was raised to believe that the moment you conceive you have a human life inside of you. She told me to save myself for marriage.

However, I went to have an abortion and then I heard his heartbeat; I was pretty far along. I walked out and went home and broke the news to my father first immediately my father told my mother I was pregnant the first thing she said to me was “ I will give you the money for an abortion.” I could not believe it. I am glad that women’s rights have evolved and I had the option to get a legal abortion without my parents permission. I am glad that I had the time to think about my decision, because it is my body and I have the right to choose.She said to me “my views have changed in the matter of five minutes Alana, you have the right to choose. You are so young.” The next day my mom went up to my high school talked to the principal about my pregnancy and she informed my mother that few of the staff and faculty do not feel comfortable with a pregnant girl walking around the school and they are going to send me to the continuation school where I could take parenting classes. In turn .My parents informed them this was no longer the 60’s and 70’s we are not going to hide this, we are not going to let you kick our daughter out. My parents went to the school board and told the school board that their daughter is a straight A student and will not be kicked out because she is pregnant. In the end, I stayed at the mainstream high school, graduated with straight A’s and I was eight months pregnant. In the 1970’s I would have been sent to a different high school to learn how to cook, sew, take care of the baby.My parents would not have had the choice of what school I would have had to attend. I would have had to marry my ex-husband at the age of 17.

The other night I was telling my story to a friend and she informed me that she met the man the started researching birth control instead of cancer because his lab partner died from a coat hanger abortion. This happened in 1969, his lab partner did not have the money to pay for a legal abortion. She was raped one night on her way home from class. I am so glad that women have fought over time for the blue light system. I am so happy that my family did not force me to marry my ex-husband and that I was able to marry him in my late twenties.

Unfortunately, over time things got worse my ex-husband had a problem with drinking, drugs, and women.

He was not able to hold a job. In the 1970’s men were responsible for taking care of the financial except of the home while women stayed home and took take care the kids, cleaning, cooking and laundry. Not that it is a bad thing that their stay at home dads these days because women are provided for the home. I feel that my ex-husbands case he has a disease he needs to get help for in turn it made him a lazy man that stayed home. I was the financial provider. I went to work every day while he was at home. Over time My ex-husband became physically and mentally abusive. “I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.” In the 1970’s “ when domestic violence isn’t a term , much less a crime, women are legally encouraged to to remain in abusive marriages.” needless to say, but that is true to this day in so many ways. I am speaking from experience. He was arrested thirty-five times. Every time he was arrested, evidently he was released because the cops would say, “ well ma'am you hit him back, if you press charges, he can press charges and your kids would go into foster care.” I would take him back every time thinking he is going to change, this will never happen

again.

Unfortunately it got worse. I found myself last December in another domestic dispute with my ex-husband on December 23,2014 I finally left him! My family had no idea the nightmare I was living in behind closed doors for so long. At my last court date the DA came up to me and said we are sorry we failed you and your family. We should have fought harder for you, were are investigating the police department's policies and procedures on domestic violence”. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I lived with a narcissistic, abusive, multiplicative man for fourteen years. I am currently attending a support group every Tuesday night which the DA referred me to. I am here to share my story. In some ways I am very happy that I do live in this time because, in the 1970’s there were few support groups for abused women. Over time more and more support groups for women have formed. I am currently looking into making myself whole again so one day I can support women who are going through the same thing I went through.