Stephen Mays Conception Of Gender Roles

For as long as we can remember, we are taught that masculinity is supposed to balance out femininity. But who’s who in a same sex relationship? Naturally, we try to assign roles because it is a gender norm, but not all men take on the dominant role. Stereotypically, men are supposed to be the independent, competitive, aggressive, providers and women are dependent and submissive. To start off Mays’ article, he says “Not to say that traditional ideas of gender roles don’t play a part in a gay relationship, but they’re a little more diluted, I would say. A gay man may show effeminate qualities, but that doesn’t make him the “woman” of the relationship. Just like the muscled, bearded gay man doesn’t have to be the “man” of the relationship”.(Mays

Stephen Mays’ theory on same sex gender roles and gender roles as a whole is extremely useful because it sheds light on the difficult problem of people constantly labeling same sex couples as who’s the “man” and who’s the “woman” in their relationship. Gender roles are less common in heterosexual relationships although people still feel the need to label them. In a same sex relationship, it is much more common for both people to provide and depend on each other equally. Gender roles are commonly assigned based on people’s personality. If someone is more of a dominant character, they are considered to be more masculine and thus labeled as the “man” in the relationship. If someone is more submissive they are considered the feminine one in the relationship also known as the “woman”. Societies norm of assigning gender roles has become so accepted and common that even homosexual couples are labeled with a “man” and “woman” role in the relationship even though it may be frowned

I see both sides as having valid arguments. In one corner you have the social norms we have been taught and had ingrained in our minds since birth. The man provides for the family while being the aggressive, competitive, so called “fighters” and the woman on the other hand has always been the submissive one; cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children. Women are usually seen as the dependent and so called “lover” of the relationship. These stereotypes have been thrown in our faces everywhere we look from T.V., to politics, and even to our home lives. When we want something we go to the softer parent, who nine times out of ten is the mother. When we need protecting we call on our aggressive, stronger parent, our father. Is this wrong? Most gender roles do have a basis in every day life and do show through more times then not. Does that mean they are a set standard everyone must follow? Of course not. There are plenty of relationships in which the female has a more dominant personality that seems to overpower the males. That being said they are still more common than not and have become a stereotype for a