Starbucks Persuasive Speech

510 Words2 Pages

Today I decided to tackle an issue that causes me so much stress, anxiety, and tension in my life, pooping at Starbucks. I don't like pooping at public spaces and pooping at Starbucks is stressful. A little while ago I figured the best way to rid one of my stresses was to find a video on Youtube for instructions on how to properly use those damn toilet seat covers. Why are there no instructions? Why is it covered in armor? Does the flap go on the back or the front? Is it a poop slide? Is it a Splash guard? Do I do it the old fashion way and use squares to cover a semi-circle? That's too time-consuming and what if I walk out with squares on the heels of my shoe or a toilet paper tail? People in line will look at each other and wonder, …show more content…

I don't like pooping at public spaces and pooping at Starbucks is stressful. A little while ago I figured the best way to rid one of my stresses was to find a video on Youtube for instructions on how to properly use those damn toilet seat covers. Why are there no instructions? Why is it covered in armor? Does the flap go on the back or the front? Is it a poop slide? Is it a Splash guard? Do I do it the old fashion way and use squares to cover a semi-circle? That's too time-consuming and what if I walk out with squares on the heels of my shoe or a toilet paper tail? People in line will look at each other and wonder, "why didn't he use the toilet seat covers and save himself the embarrassment?" Would anyone tell me? How long would it be before it's discovered? I would hope that it would be way before I go for a refill. When using a restroom with stalls, you have the comfort of having your own private poop domain. You're among fellow poopers and it turns into a Fart party like that scene in Mel Brook's Blazing Saddles, plus you have this wonderful locking mechanism like you'll find in a studio apartment in the Bronx so you don't have to worry about people walking in on you. Not at

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