Resting Bitch Face Analysis

Asperger's and "Resting Bitch Face" - Why Neurotypicals Struggle to Read OUR Facial Expressions and How That Harms Us

"Why do you look so serious?" "What's wrong?" "What are you so ticked off about?" If you have 'resting bitch face' (also known as 'bitchy resting face'), you hear this all the time.

People are constantly misreading your facial expressions and assume, wrongly, that you are the most irritated, depressed, and/or psychotic person on the planet. It's frustrating and insulting to anyone whose neutral face comes off more like a nuclear face, but it can actually be harmful to people on the spectrum.

It is widely known that people on the autistic spectrum have difficulty understanding and recognizing facial expressions and body language. This is because the part of the brain that is supposed to "light up" in response to social cues, doesn't. It remains dormant. Therefore, people with ASD must rely heavily on spoken language and often take words very literally.

To put it another way, it can be very difficult for us to understand someone saying "everything is fine" when there are tears in their eyes.

It sends a jumbled and confused message that either has us scurrying away out of discomfort or keeps us staring at you in confusion until you become uncomfortable.

One of the most disconcerting things for neurotypical people (individuals without autism) is seeing a flat affect, meaning, a blank facial expression. When someone's facial expression does not match up with their words, it can leave the neurotypical person feeling as though they are somehow being tricked or deceived.

This is when having 'resting bitch face' can be dangerous. Depending on the type of person we're around, this type of facial expression can get us verbally and/or physically assaulted because we, unlike a neurotypical person, cannot simply brighten up and brush it off when someone points it

out.

We don't "snap out of it and act normal". We can't.

If you're a neurotypical person frustrated by an Asperger's friend, family member, or significant other, it's very important that you understand that the communication struggle goes both ways.

We aren't reading you properly, but you're not reading us properly, either.

Here are five common ways misreading a person with ASD can be harmful to them:

1. You Judge Us By Our Facial Expressions

Research has shown that neurotypical people make evaluations of character, competence, friendliness, and approachability by reading certain social cues. When neurotypical people socialize, they send and receive subtle but important information from one another through a complex set of facial expressions and body language.

People on the spectrum have a limited ability to discern the meaning of these facial expressions and body language unless said gestures are very obvious. For example, red-faced anger or sobbing anguish is pretty easy to figure out. The subtle cues emitted through a slight raise in an eyebrow, an irritated sniff, or a bit of a smirk, however, is almost always lost on those with ASD.

Not only can we not read your facial expressions properly, you can't read ours. Many people with ASD (especially women, from my research) suffer from a terminal case of 'resting bitch face'. We seem to look sad, irritated, angry, sullen, or downright nasty when we're anything but.

That's just how our faces look.

If you judge a person with ASD based on their facial expressions alone, you are more likely to misunderstand and have a knee-jerk reaction that we won't understand. We have no idea that it was something we did/didn't do or said/didn't say that's triggered your sudden mood shift toward us.

If we are unable to connect your reaction to our perceived behavior, we feel threatened by you.

2. You Think We Don't Have Feelings

Empathy in the ASD person has been hotly debated. While one camp believes those on the spectrum lack empathy, other studies suggest we feel far too much of it and shut down as a result.

From the research I've done, I don't think it's a question of whether we do or do not feel empathy. I can't speak for others on the spectrum, but I know that I am highly empathic. The issue lies not in whether we have it or not, but how we process and express it.

There are two distinct facets to empathy:

1. Identifying what is going on in another person's mind by seeing the world from their perspective.

2. Imagining what the other person is feeling and then having an appropriate emotional response.