Dear Hannah Staats, thank you for your commentary on submission 10000 (“The Floater”). Your specific and general comments are insightful and concise, and would certainly be appreciated by any author. Your comments on word choice are simply excellent! I had nothing to add to your comments regarding diction as well. In order to aid the author, however, please format your comments in the same manner (for instance S1, L4 rather than Stanza 1, Line 4). You also draw attention to some of the awkward wording of the poem very well. However, please also make sure to add specific suggestions that the reader can follow. Simply stating that the wording is awkward would not be as effective to the reader as offering a replacement or a restructuring. You do this very well and thoroughly in some of the specific comments and the general comments. Great job!
Second Reader’s Comments:
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Are the “them” the other members on the “stage”? Are they specific players/actors? You might consider clarifying this pronoun so that it comes across as less vague and impersonal to the reader.
S1, L3 - I believe that you meant to convey the meaning of "calmly" through the use of the word "cooly". As a result, the correct spelling of the word should be utilized in this line - "coolly" rather than "cooly".
S1, L5 - In my opinion, the words in this line come across as a little confusing. Are you trying to convey that the floater's words are insignificant and that the audience's thoughts regarding these words are even less significant? By including “words” and “thoughts” in the same line without a possessive pronoun indicating the difference between the floater and the audience, it may come across as befuddling to the reader. I would recommend clarifying this line, as a result.
S2, L2-3 - The characterization of the “floater” comes across as very striking in this line. I like how you’re able to capture this element of him in a unique and concise manner. Nice
12. What form of figurative language does the author use in lines 8 & 9 of page 216 to make his writing more
In her article, “Lecture Me. Really”, Molly Worthen addresses the issue college students know all too well: how to lecture properly. Published in the New York Times, Worthen writes a passionate article about lecturing but from the perspective of a professor. Worthen presents the idea that lecturing, although some may think ineffective in the classroom, is a way to truly challenge and engage students into critically thinking. Worth dictates this idea with an excellent build up logical argument but lacks the proper evidence to support her claims creating a faulty argument.
Everett, Nicholas From The Oxford Companion to Twentieth-century Poetry in English. Ed. Ian Hamiltong. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1994. Copyright 1994 by Oxford University Press.
Strand, Mark and Evan Boland. The Making of a Poem: A Norton Anthology of Poetic Forms. New
With an evident attempt at objectivity, the syntax of Passage 1 relies almost entirely on sentences of medium length, uses a few long sentences for balance, and concludes with a strong telegraphic sentence. The varying sentence length helps keep the readers engaged, while also ensuring that the writing remains succinct and informative. Like the varying sentence length, the sentence structures vary as complex sentences are offset by a few scattered simple sentences. The complex sentences provide the necessary description, and the simple sentences keep the writing easy to follow. Conversely, Passage 2 contains mostly long, flowing sentences, broken up by a single eight word sentence in the middle. This short sentence, juxtaposed against the length of the preceding and following sentences, provides a needed break in the text, but also bridges the ideas of the two sentences it falls between. The author employs the long sentences to develop his ideas and descriptions to the fullest extent, filling the sentences with literary elements and images. Coupled...
Meinke, Peter. “Untitled” Poetry: An Introduction. Ed. Michael Meyer. 6th ed. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martin’s 2010. 89. Print
Billy Collins has used a specific metaphor, simile, rhyme and personification in his poem ‘Introduction to poetry’ in order to show how one should better understand a poem. This poem focused on what the poem actually mean and how a poem should be clearly understood. Throughout the poem, Billy Collins has presented a clear way of understanding the poem by using a very interesting imagery, symbolism, metaphor and a very sensitive sound. The words used in this poem are so powerful that the readers are convinced to think about the issue presented in the poem.
Mays, Kelly. "Poems for Further Study." Norton Introduction to Literature. Eleventh Edition. New York: W.W. Norton and Company Inc., 2013. 771-772. Print.
...ing the Boats: New and Selected Poems, 1998-2000. Comp. Clifton. Rochester: BOA Editions, 2000. 20. Print.
He uses powerful imagery and onomatopoeia to achieve the desired effects that make the poem more realistic. All this combined together produces effective thought provoking ideas and with each read, I gradually get an improved understanding and appreciation of the poem.
I was first drawn to the poem by the title. The interesting use of capitalization caught my attention. Why wasn't the letter 'w' in the word "without" capitalized? Upon reading the poem initially, I got an overall impression of being made to feel "uncomfortable," though quite unsure as to why. I had the same impression once I felt I understood the whole poem, but from a completely different perspective. That sort of clarity at differing resolutions is impressive in tha...
D.H. Lawrence incorporates a bullet-like syntax in his critique to express his hateful thoughts of Hester Prynne in a succinct way.
Ellmann, Richard and O'Clair, Robert, ed. The Norton Anthology of Modern Poetry, Second Edition. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1988.
"People either love it, or they hate it," Fred proclaimed again, for the umpteenth time. His reddish face almost glowed against the gray sky. The combination of giddy grin, round cheeks, and fine, yellow, tousled hair yielded a face far too boyish for a man in his mid-fifties. But the always-present twinkle in Fred's eye was ever so slightly diminished today, and I knew why: he feared that his intuition might be mistaken and that I might not, after all, take to today's activity. His concern was compounded by weather; it was far from ideal for this, my first sail. Why was it so important to him that I like sailing anyway?
The New Critics, just like Wimsatt and Beardsley put forward in their essay, also believed in the ‘organicity’ of the text. In the essay, they write, “A poem should not mean but be.” And, since the meaning of the poem or the text is the medium through which it can exist, and words, in turn, is the medium through which the meaning is expressed, the poem or the text b...