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Cross-cultural differences between Chinese and Western parenting styles/ methods
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Marital therapy introduction
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Relationships are a commonality among all human beings dating back to the Garden of Eden when Eve was paired with Adam, and can leave lifelong impressions on someone. The story of a person’s past romantic relationship can provide a glimpse not only into his or her history, but also shed light on the type of person they are today as a result of that interaction. Discovery of this information comes about by engaging in a conversation with someone about his or her past, which is what I did with a friend of nine years. Fortunately, the overall experience had a positive impact on both of us. The initial question I posed to my friend, or whom I will refer to as Jane for anonymity sake, required her to describe a prior, close relationship she had …show more content…
with someone of the opposite sex that has since ended. She shared about a young man, whom I will refer to as John, she dated during her senior year of high school. He was a freshman in college and a friend of her brother, which is how they met. Jane did not have long-term plans for this relationship, as this was her first boyfriend and she was preparing for college after graduating from high school. Nonetheless, the two were drawn to one another, and although their relationship was short-lived, it resulted in a life altering situation. Jane became pregnant and John did not want to participate in the decision making process. Jane assumed all the responsibility and opted to put her baby up for adoption. Fifteen years ago Jane and her daughter were reunited, but the emotional scars for both serve as reminders of this past relationship. At the onset, Jane learned some information about John’s family of origin, including similarities and differences concerning cultural, social, and spiritual matters.
The reason interview questions five and eight are combined (Relationship Interview Form, n.d.) is they were quite young while dating, thus, they still clung to their family’s set of beliefs. Culturally, they were similar in that they were of the same race, and grew up in a small rural town, serving as two positive commonalities. Socially, Jane knew John came from a wealthy family that owned farmland and oil property, which became clear when he received a new car as a gift from his parents. Her family also had some farmland but economically they were more low to middle income, yet this difference did not play a role in their relationship. The spiritual aspect presented the biggest difference between John and Jane with his family being practicing Lutherans, and Jane’s family living by the Catholic faith and traditions. The family of origin that John stemmed from overall did not impact their relationship negatively or positively, as the variance in their family’s cultural or social standing had no bearing on their interest in each other. However, differing spiritual beliefs did present challenges for the young couple, which segues into the following topic concerning …show more content…
values. Regarding values, there were differences as well as similarities between John and Jane. Both parties placed a high emphasis on their education with John taking his college career seriously. Jane earned the honor of being valedictorian for her high school; thereby, being offered scholarships for college. Additionally, they both had good relationships within their family units and felt strong family ties were important. In contrast, John was more open to premarital sex, but Jane struggled with this as it went against her Catholic upbringing, yet, in the end, a sexual relationship took place. When Jane learned of her pregnancy, their spiritual differences came into play, as Jane did not believe in abortion. John ended up not being supportive and left the decision making to her, as he had returned to college and eventually ignored her attempts at communication. The themes of self-concept and gender issues coincide with one another regarding Jane’s story, and both correlate to her relationship. She sensed that John had high self-confidence, as demonstrated via his academic standing, and his popular status on campus as a good football player. In comparison, Jane was not so self-assured and felt naïve, thus, allowing John to take lead over the two. Jane felt that when reviewing the gender issues discussed by Parrott and Parrott (1998), she agreed with their assessment that women are less independent than men, that men are more abstract, and conversations about feelings are not men’s forte (pp. 68-71). Given the generation she grew up in, along with her low self-esteem, Jane felt she compromised her values to please John, for fear of him losing interest. These concerns led her to suppress sharing her feelings and ultimately not being true to herself. Both self-concept and gender issues played a negative role for Jane; whereas, for John, they aided in the dominant role he took on within their relationship. Jane’s relationship with John ended after only six months, with the pregnancy acting as the catalyst and leaving little in the way of disintegration signs. John is the one who called things off, and given the circumstances, Jane had hoped they could at least stay in touch. However, this did not happen and she suffered from the phases discussed by Parrott and Parrott (1998), such as anger, depression, and finally acceptance, but seemed to bypass denial (pp. 170-172). Her reality encompassed more than a guy who merely wanted to go his separate way, as she decided to go through with the pregnancy. There had been no talk of dissatisfaction or sudden withdrawal from each other, as relayed in the PowerPoint presentation titled Interpersonal Relationships Session 1: Relationship Basics (n.d., p. 7) with regard to the ending of a relationship. The unexpected turn of events forced Jane to quickly shift her focus from the sadness of losing John, to the caring of herself and the life inside of her for the upcoming nine months. We have learned that interpersonal relationships have certain characteristics including uniqueness, irreplaceability, interdependence, disclosure, intrinsic rewards, and scarcity (Interpersonal Relationships, n.d., p.
6). Interestingly, while talking with Jane regarding these traits, she felt that uniqueness, disclosure, and scarcity applied to her situation. They had a similar interest in football as it was a popular sport where they grew up. They did disclose personal information about each other’s family, and scarcity was an element for Jane as she had yet to have very few interpersonal relationships, especially with the opposite sex. Irreplaceability, interdependence, and intrinsic rewards are items Jane felt as irrelevant in her relationship. Neither she nor John was seeking out a long-term relationship. Given their ages they were not drastically impacted by the other’s ups and downs with life; therefore, intrinsic rewards were simply not part of the
equation. Parrott and Parrott (1998) discuss seven strategies regarding making smart decisions in romantic relationships (pp. 121-131), with some relating to Jane’s relationship. She felt John and herself made a good match as they had similar interests, such as doing well in school and growing up in the same rural community. Jane felt John displayed moral values via the love for his family, his kindness, and respectful attitude towards her family. However, she felt he tried to change her to become more extroverted like him; whereas, she felt she tried to change for him and be the type of girlfriend she thought he wanted. There were struggles with bottom lines when it came to premarital sex, and when a major conflict arose John essentially fled revealing to Jane his weakness in that area. The only strategy that is not applicable is online tools, as they were non-existent during this time in Jane’s life. To be honest, I was a bit uncomfortable to interview someone I know on this topic, and I shared the questions up front with my friend. It became a humbling experience for me as she opened up an old wound, and I could sense the topic was not an easy one, thus, I viewed her as brave for sharing her story. At the end of our time together, Jane shared with me how it felt good to talk about John and in her words, “felt a sense of healing and forgiveness of her 17-year old self” (N. Grabowski, personal communication, July 11, 2016). Her relationship may have been short-lived and somewhat traumatic, but it produced a new life; a daughter whom she adores. There were things I learned through this activity that had not come to my mind throughout this class. The first one being how generational differences can come into play regarding gender and self-concept aspects. Jane is 64, thus, making her experiences as a young lady somewhat different than someone my age, who is 43 years old. One example is the lack of sex education during her teen years, leaving Jane feeling ill-informed concerning sexual matters. She also felt conflicted when learning of her pregnancy due to her religion, leading to a realization that people of different faiths and/or worldviews can have different principles they base decisions on. Scripture touches upon the topic of relationships and varying belief systems by stating, “Do not be unequally yoked together with nonbelievers…what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NKJV). Someone with a biblical worldview will realistically struggle within an intimate relationship if his or her partner has a conflicting worldview. In retrospect, I can see I did not make smart and/or honest choices regarding my fist marriage, and now understand the value in ensuring one is a good fit with the one they chose to marry. Relationships with the opposite sex can leave either a little or huge impression on one’s future self and their attitudes towards future mates. Humans are imperfect beings trying to find an intimate connection with one another, so life is not a journey traveled alone. Past romantic involvements with others that have ended can provide insight into one’s relational behaviors, and allow time for introspection of issues that arose. There are times when wisdom is gained from evaluation of past relationships, as to aide someone in current or future ones.
...to expand, to exult, with the strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt. It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped- for liberty.” Never knowing what was going to happen next, like St. John wasn’t first portrayed as a cousin but at the end he was being portrayed as a husband rather than even a cousin all because of Jane. She puts the twist and turn into the story, which causes the reader to being pushed or perceived into liking Jane.
“When Harry Met Sally” depicts the ups and downs of a relationship between and man and a woman over the course of twelve years. These ups and downs are also referred to as the ten interpersonal relationship stages. A couple’s communication throughout their relationship, both positive and negative, determine whether the relationship will be maintained or terminated. Although some couples experience every stage from the beginning to the end of their relationship, many partners, like Harry and Sally, flow back and forth between these stages and sometimes skip a stage completely, making every relationship entirely unique.
The misfortunes Jane was given early in life didn’t alter her passionate thinking. As a child she ...
The family I chose to interview is a blended non-traditional family. There is a mother and her 6 kids. The kids come from two different guys that the gal was married to and a boyfriend that she has lived with in the past. The boyfriend still spends some nights with her.
In fact, I am glad the book ended with the focus on the character of St. John instead of with Jane or Rochester, as it hints to us that the importance of the book is not about finding the right person, falling in love, and living happily ever after. The theme of this book is about following your conscience. In this regard, Jane and St. John both did the same thing in this story: They both had strong, driving consciences; they both were tempted but pursued their course; and they both found a satisfying life in the end. This book is not about developing a relationship with a romantic partner, but about developing a relationship and learning to follow and live in tune with your own moral conscience.
Obligations arise as Jane is forced to stay with Mrs. Reed. With out being nurtured, Jane receives unnecessary abuse and still feels as if she is yet to find “home”. Frustration slowly builds up in Jane’s mind and she awaits the perfect chance to let it all out, “You think I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or kindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity” (33) With the anger and anguish built up inside of Jane, she finally finds a chance to move out, leaving behind a broken relationship with her aunt Mrs. Reed. Jane works towards living a better life, a more worthwhile life leaving what happened in the past, where it belongs. As Mrs. Reed becomes ill, she wishes to see Jane one last time before she passes away. This triggers the moral side of the Character Jane Eyre, and she is stumped on a decision she was to make, not realizing that her decisions will show her true character.
Kaakinen, Gedaly-Duff, Coehlo & Hanson, (2010) report family is the biggest resource for managing care of individuals with chronic illness; family members are the main caregivers and provide necessary continuity of care. Therefore, it is important for health care providers to develop models of care based on an understanding what families are going through (Eggenberger, Meiers, Krumwiede, Bliesmer, & Earle, 2011). The family I chose to interview is in the middle of a transition in family dynamics. I used the family as a system approach as well as a structure-function theoretical framework to the effects of the changes in dynamic function. Additionally, the combinations of genogram, ecomap, adaptations of the Friedman Family Assessment model as well as Wright & Leahey’s 15 minute family interview were utilized.
The first phase of our relationship involved adjustment to our new roles as Boyfriend and Girlfriend, and the feelings that accompanied it. This occurred quickly; for my part, I had not been more than casually involved with a woman for seventeen months, and was feeling the pressure and judgment of a society that expects its members to engage in heterosexual courtship at my age. Jaimie was in the process of terminating a mutually destructive relationship and had experimented with several unsuccessful liaisons;...
Throughout Jane Eyre, Jane searches for a way to express herself as an independent person who needs help from no one, yet she also wishes to have the love and companionship of others. Often times, Jane finds that she can have independence but no one to share her life with, or she can have the love of another at the loss of her independence. Jane's entire journey is based on the goal of achieving a seamless blend between independence and love, a mixture that rarely seems to go hand in hand.
As I sat down with Jordan Fisher, on April 30th, we looked out the window to a gloomy, rainy day. It was wet and nasty day, but Jordan agreed to sit down with me to discuss his position as an HR officer. Jordan started with the Federal Government, 30 years ago at the age of 20. Now 50 Jordan is looking forward to retiring with his wife, stating “I enjoy it here, I really do—but I can’t wait to retire.” While Jordan plans to work for one more year before retiring, the knowledge and experience that he has gained from the position will never leave him. Jordan has been a very successful H.R. official because he has integrity, used effective communication and proper documentation.
Anything in the extreme is dangerous; too much piety, or too much anger, are both dangerous. Jane’s life is a testament to the dangers of these extremes and the good that can come from equal measure; like passion and logic, possessiveness and indifference, or wrath and submission. Jane experiences the full spectrum of these extremes and sees firsthand the dangers they bring. Towards the end, with these experiences having stayed with her, Jane is better able to control her impulses and, as a result, finds happiness at
Jane does not experience a typical family life throughout the novel. Her various living arrangements led her through different households, yet none were a representation of the norm of family life in the nineteenth century. Through research of families in the nineteenth century, it is clear that Jane’s life does not follow with the stereotypical family made up of a patriarchal father and nurturing mother, both whose primary focus was in raising their children. Jane’s life was void of this true family experience so common during the nineteenth century. Yet, Jane is surrounded by men, who in giving an accurate portrayal of fathers and masculinity in the nineteenth century, fulfill on one hand the father role that had never been present in her life, and on the other hand the husband portrait that Jane seeks out throughout the novel.
When times passes, relationships, among other numerous things, are subject to change. Relationships evolve throughout life, which is evident
Later in life, Jane and Jo do many things that are similar, even though they are in different situations. After Laurie expresses his love to Jo and offers marriage, Jo rejects him, saying, "I don't see why I can't love you as you want me to. I've tried, but I can't change the feeling, and it would be a lie to say I do when I don't." (331) Jane, t...
Throughout most of my life I have gained friendships and relationships with others that have turned into long term, but others which only lasted a short while. The friendship that has greatly impacted my life significantly over the last eight years is someone who means so much to me. This meaningful friendship all started back when I was in middle school, which has grown stronger over the years. I met Brooke in middle school because we had some of the same classes and were in homeroom together. Our friendship developed quickly and lasted throughout our high school years. We became really close our Junior and Senior year of high school. But, maintaining our friendship hasn’t always been so easy. Today, we text and call each other on our free time, but I know I can count and rely on her when I need someone to talk too. I call her my second sister and vice versa. And when we go home on breaks we see one another as much as we can. The best part of our relationship is that if one is in need of advice or in need of a shoulder to cry on, we are always there for one another. Keeping in contact is very important in our relationship and communication has played a key role in our relationship.