Pivotal Moment

Throughout life pivotal moments stand alone that come to define people as individuals, guiding their character into something so unique that can only serve to mold them to who they have become today. These events may seem mundane to the world, mere background noise to an onlooker, but each and every person holds certain key memories of these moments which kindle the flame that ignites their soul. Many people do not realize the effects of the event until after it has passed, later understanding the significance of the knowledge learned without the overwhelming emotions present. During the course of my journey I have learned that without the tears of yesterday I would have never known the hope tomorrow would bring; many life altering challenges

that presented themselves in the most unexpected, often unwanted, ways have helped create my character traits of perseverance, self worth, and equality that I strive to uphold today.
A few days after my seventeenth birthday still remains one of the most influential days I have yet to experience.

Predictable enough the morning started off without a hitch, my mother had woken up the house before the sun even knew it had gone to sleep with her insistent wailing over who knows what. What I had not expected, or at least not for a few more weeks till her medication ran out, was her face inches from my sleep crusted eyelids screaming obscenities. If I was not currently in the predicament I found myself in I could have gotten lost in trance and counted the sprinkles of cocaine that powdered her face, just below her nose. Sadly time did not stop nor did my mother, yanking our arm’s she drug my sisters and me out of bed. They rubbed their swollen eyes while looking up at me expectantly, ignoring my mothers usual rant over how she would have fared much better off without scum like us. Meagan and Cheyenne waited patiently for me to assume the usual position. I was the oldest, it seemed only fair that in situations where our mother used us as punching bags that I would go first. But today was different, I could see it in her eyes as she wound her hand back for the opening jab. Today she would not just stop with me, it would not be enough to knock me over and hit me till her hands hurt, it would not be enough to grab Meagan’s hair and yank her around, she did not even find adequate satisfaction in seeing Cheyenne cry out for her to stop. This was the day she kept

going, and I decided that this was the day that so did I.
That day I was kicked out of my house, forced to leave my sisters behind or face criminal charges.

What she could have charged me with for simply pulling her off of her own child and telling her to stop I was not sure, but at seventeen facing a future that currently held no certainty what so ever scared me more. I had nowhere to go so I simply did what I did every Thursday morning, I went to school. Throughout the whole day I seemed to be in a constant state of shock, avoiding the questions that I knew would break me if I even began to give thought to them. At that moment my life seemed unreal, like a nightmare that I could not wake up from. Except I could feel all of the pain, all of the worries of tomorrow, all or the thoughts of guilt that plagued me for my actions. Sitting there in history class my head began to spin because I did not know how to make it stop, I needed help, I needed hope. What I got was phone call from my older sister who lived with her husband, she offered me a home, a bed, and a love that I had yet to

receive.
Today I find still living with my sister, four years free from the prison I had once been subject to. My younger sisters, Meagan and Cheyenne, were able to find a way out as well, leaving my mother to have no one to torture but herself. At first I did not see how this event could have impacted my life in any way other than irrevocable disaster, but as time faded so did my wounds. Once I was able to look past all of the emotional trauma of the event I was able to see the opportunities it afforded me, through that one experience I have been able to reflect and grow.
Every time I look back on that day I remember how I persevered and kept going even when I had nowhere to go, how by standing up to my mother I taught my self that I was worth more than what she had to offer, and through all of the guilt my older sister reminded me that I deserved love just like everyone else when she called me that day. This moment in my life will serve as a constant reminder for who I am and who I am not. Thanks to the pain of yesterday I am able to stand before the world as a better person, a person who knows how to cry, but also knows to never give up hope.