Breaking Stereotypes: Personal Journey of an Asian Student

“Laura’s the most stupid Asian I know,” said a fellow classmate. I was in class and our teacher assigned us worksheets and that’s when I overheard a group of boys discussing who to get answers from and they mentioned my name, but after that comment, they laughed about it and then I had no more interest in hearing about their ignorant conversation. Unfortunately for me, it’s not the first time I’ve heard people make fun of me like that. People say similar remarks like that all the time and I act as if it doesn’t affect me, but that’s only a coverup. So ever since then, I’ve tried my best to prove everyone wrong. Due to stereotypes and society’s perception of Asians, I’ll always be compared to others standards.

In “I Have a Dream” Martin Luther

King expresses his feeling on how America has been treating the black community. King talks about how they’re marked as insufficient funds who are now checking in that check to get the opportunities that everyone else gets. He refers to America as a “she” and how the community has looked down on his people, but now is the time to change all of that. The new change is urgent and as a nation, we can only improve from here on out.
As someone from a different ethnicity, I have become prone to noticing more prejudice, or racist remarks. Being Asian, people just assume that I’m super smart or that I’m striving to become a doctor. In the Youtube video posted by BuzzFeedYellow, “I’m Asian, But I’m Not…” several people identified themselves something other than being “Asian”. They stood up for what they’re not according to society and more into what contributes to them as individuals. I related to specifically “I’m Asian, but I’m not in the medical field”, “I’m Asian, but I can’t play the piano” and “I’m Asian, but I’m a great driver.” These individuals are not the same, nor do they look alike, but for some reason, society singles out the Asian community and puts me into a small category telling what I am.
When people first meet me, they think I’m a human calculator and that I excel at everything that has to do with school or that I’m capable of playing a countless number of instruments. However, when people do get to know me, I’m not even considered “Asian” because I don’t seem to qualify as one. My goal isn’t to attend medical school, I don’t get straight A’s; math isn’t my best subject nor am I a nail specialist. I actually suck at doing nails, I’m a fairly decent driver and when I tell people I play soccer they question me why I don’t play instruments instead . I’m constantly being judged and looked upon when I tell people who I really am because they either didn’t expect or believe it.
The typical stereotype everyone believes about Asians is that they’re extremely intelligent.

However, I was always seen as average at best. I never went above and beyond in school and I clearly wasn’t the top of my class with perfect grades and 4.0 GPA. I was embarrassed for the classes I took because like I said before, I was always seen average at best. Math was surprisingly difficult for me and so was Chemistry and Physics. None of those classes were honors or AP and that’s where I felt like I fell short because a lot of the Asians I knew were already so far ahead. I was nothing special or unique, I was less than ordinary and I stuck out like a sore thumb. Akimi Yan wrote, “How do US teachers’ stereotypes of Asian students affect performance?” which she discusses how Asians are perceived in the school system. She says, “If the standards are so high, there must be some Asian students who could not live up to the expectations...results into their negative self perception.” (n.p) I definitely understand what Yan is talking about because I’m one of those Asian students who don’t live up to other’s expectations. I’m always comparing myself to others especially Asian students and my sister who is a talented Dentist. I use to feel ashamed for who I was, but more importantly, I felt ashamed for my family. I never wanted them to think they raised someone who was a disappointment. Coming from someone who constantly felt like they weren’t good enough, it has made me want to prove

myself to others that I am in indeed good enough. Therefore, being Asian has created a higher set of principles that has pretty much forced me to push myself.
Being labeled an Asian can be tough at times, the expectations seem endless.

Ever since I was a kid, my parents use to and still tell me to focus on school because that’s the most important thing in my life. So I tried and tried, but no subject ever came easily to me. I struggled in school and maybe that’s the reason why it’s still difficult for me today. Asians are supposedly smart and good at every subject, especially math; however, that’s not who I am. Qin Zhang published “Perceptions of Asian American Students: Stereotypes and Effects” in Communication Currents that explains the outcomes of Asian stereotypes on students and how they’re shown in the media. Zhang mentions, “The model minority stereotype could also have psychological, emotional...enduring loneliness...extreme depression and stress” (n.p.). The pressure of being Asian has caused me to feel lonely. Whenever I wanted to hang out with my friends, I never got the chance to because I always felt a little bit behind than others in my grade. The feeling of stress on my shoulders due to the pressure is unexplainable, but when I don’t do well on a test, I tell myself that it's necessary that I do better next time or I won’t go far in life. All I attempt to do is to disregard people’s speculations about me, but it can take a toll on my performance to the point where I don’t know my own

potential.
Society perceives Asians as being insightful and bright, mainly because of the influences that are out there. A lot of the television shows and movies I watch portrays Asians as nerds and geniuses. Zhang states examples of how characters in the media such as Cristina Yang in Grey's Anatomy who was top of her class at Stanford and George Huang, a Psychiatrist in Law & Order (n.p.). Sometimes I wonder where people are getting these crazy ideas or thoughts, but the way these actresses and actors are perceived in media, I’m not surprised. In my opinion, this characteristic is always represented in Asians, but as someone who can’t compete to that level, it makes situations much harder. I’m not saying that Asian’s aren’t smart, but for me, those characteristics that are portrayed in the media isn’t something I should live up to.
I’m often looked and judged based on my race, but I don’t want that to affect personal opinions about me which leads up to assumptions. If I don’t “fit” along the basic Asian stereotype criteria, it’s questionable to others, but it’s really not. The simple truth is that not everyone is determined by their looks. In the book, “Stereotype Threat Theory, Process and Application” Inzlicht & Schmader documents all the experiments others have tested on students such as education, scores etc. Particularly, Mary C. Murphy and Valerie Jones Taylor focused on a white and black student’s performances in the classroom with the same textbooks and treatment. They acknowledged the fact that when students are in a setting where they’re aware of what’s going on or what’s around them, the stereotype might depress the academic performance (18). Treating a student by their race doesn’t prove anything. When I’m pressured into doing so well in school, it has an effect on how I behave. I’ve had this problem in previous art courses I’ve taken. I took a drawing and a ceramics course and I noticed that my teacher always treated me differently than others. Whenever I asked for help, I either got told that I can do it on my own or they’ll give me a tip and move onto the next student. I never got what everyone else did which I deserve. This correlates to Yano’s statement about having the fear about being categorized as a lower achiever because when I feel as if I’m compared to other students, I don’t end up doing well in that class. In this case, I felt as if the teachers thought I was capable of finishing art projects on my own, but I wasn’t. When I took a look around me and saw other student’s beautiful paintings and sculptures, I struggled with mine.
Throughout the years, I have followed my own path and didn’t let others opinions hold me back. I want to be who I am, not someone who tries to live up to expectations or other’s judgments and I will not let stereotypes define me. My accomplishments were made by me and only me. To those who looked at me as if I was unintelligent didn’t know a single thing about me, just what they thought and it’s made me push myself harder to an extent where I can be proud of myself instead of being ashamed. At the end of high school, I already had credit at CSCC(Columbus State Community College) as a PSEO(Post Secondary Enrollment Options) student, received an honors diploma and a student-athlete reward for having a GPA higher than a 3.5. I have learned to be successful on my own with my accomplishments and to not compare myself because there’s always going to be people who will expect much more. I’m not a robot, I can’t do everything that everyone wants, I’m only human.
In spite of the fact that I’ve only discussed difficulties of the expectations I’m under, there are bad stereotypes that come along as well. I work at a Chinese restaurant and every now and then, I’ll get prank calls asking if I sell dog or cat. Sadly, I can’t say anything rude back because they’re the customer and I’m the employee. People have the audacity to call a restaurant and waste my time just to make fun of a stereotype which is honestly so disrespectful. People also make fun of how small my eyes are and every now and then I’ll get asked if I can see with my slanted eyes. I’ve gotten so use to so many stereotypes that I just laugh at them or even go along with the jokes. I’ve learned not to take them offensively and just accept them. This sounds odd, but I believe due to other’s comments, it has affected my performance in a positive way. My goal is to prove everyone who judged me in the past wrong and I believe I have done just that.
Martin Luther King indicates that America has often looked down on the citizens of color especially the black community instead of honoring them (487). I look at it as if the Asian community is the complete opposite. By this I mean, society has looked up to Asians due to the high standards. That’s why it affects me because I’m in that “Asian Community” and I know how people portray us, but it’s not necessarily always beneficial. However, I believe one-day stereotypes won’t affect anyone, including me and just like King, the urgency to fix these problems is now because what no matter what I do, these issues will carry on for the rest of my life.
I’m constantly living in a shadow of Asians. I’m supposed to live up to their standards, but my performance is never good enough. I’m affected by prejudice due to my classmate’s judgments, discrimination due to my teacher’s assumptions and racism when my eyes are apparently too small to see. I have the ambition to prove everyone wrong because I’ve faced obstacles that motivate me to push harder. I face racism and stereotypes on many different levels, but I’ve learned to deal with them. However, I don’t want people to look at me as if I’m smart or if I’m below standards. Yes, I am Asian, but I’m not obligated to follow any criteria for who I’m suppose to be.