Yesterday, my oldest so turned 8. It's not really a milestone birthday, but it was his "golden" birthday; he turned 8 on 8/8. Just ask my aunt: if you're into numbers, it's a big deal. Last night, I was contemplating just how different life is since I became a parent. I could turn this post into some trendy list of things I've learned, but I'd rather not. The thing is, nothing I've learned is static. That is, nothing ever stays the same. Parenting is unique to every individual family, every week, season, etc. Every time I learn something, I have to unlearn it a few months or years later and learn something else. We are all forever changing, both me and my kids. While I can't quantify what I've learned, I can say that I am profoundly different than I was 8 years and 10 months ago when I learned that I was going to be a mom. God has worked amazing things in my spirit, and the world doesn't even look the same to me anymore. When my husband and I talked about having a child, the conversation went something like this: "I don't see what the big deal is, I mean, we are still going to basically have the same life, right? There will just be one more of us." …show more content…
"I know! It's not like we are going to miss out on all the wild parties we don't attend now. It's going to be great." While it is great, we had no idea what we were talking about! Neither one of us had any clue what we were getting ourselves into. I didn't anticipate sleepless nights, zombie days, pain, puke, poop, mountains of diapers, hormones that would turn me into a beast or a sobbing mess depending on the day, or the loneliness that can accompany being a stay-at-home mom. No one warned me I would want to have another baby 6 months later because I was smitten with babies. My oldest son has taught me a lot about myself.
He is like me: intense, literal, driven; he's a shaker and a mover. He has taught me that I'm nuts. Just kidding. But really, the biggest thing I've learned is that I am not the easiest person in the world to deal with, and that God makes up for so many deficits in my character that it's still going to be okay. Being a parent is about trusting God, praying, and being able to brush yourself off when you inevitably fail at something. It's not about the perfect ideals, the right parenting book, the right labels (helicopter parent, attachment parent, co-sleeper, breast-feeder, private-schooler, whatever), or anything else that people tell you is important. God will tell you what is important. It's not about the material things your kids have, or how perfect their room
looks. I'll keep thinking about this more, no doubt, and maybe I will have something cooler to say. Something more insightful or something about how having four kids is like leading a circus. Until then, enjoy your kids! People say it goes fast, and it does. It's cliche for a reason. I woke up this morning and my oldest is 8 years old. I can barely pick him up anymore, and he is a wonderful blessing in my life. He helps make coffee, feeds the chickens, reads stories to his siblings, holds doors open for ladies, points out even the smallest injustice, and fights for goodness. Being his momma is pretty awesome.
The lessons are numerous and range from trivial to profound, but there’s one that's had the most impact on my life. Fortunately, I was born into a unconditionally loving family with good health and parents that I feel comfortable talking to under almost any circumstance. Until I got to really know my friends, I was aware that not everybody’s lives were like this but never really understood what a life without those privileges was like. But then my perspective changed when I found out that a couple of my friends have terrible relationships with their parents and suffer from depression and anxiety. Another one of my friends suffers from chronic migraines and has been hospitalized three times in the past year. All of my friends are incredible individuals, and knowing in detail of what they withstand on a daily basis has made me more empathetic to the people around me. I think we all forget sometimes that other people are people, we subconsciously go into this state of mind thinking we’re the center of the whole world. But in actuality, that is not the case; everyone else has their own unique lives and issues they’re dealing with. So what I’ve learned by knowing of my friends’ distinctive stories is just to be more cognizant of others. It's difficult to have that state of mind all the time, but in doing so I have better relationships with
Children need structure. It is a parent’s job to instill structure and rules in their child. Although we need to raise independent children, the life skills taught to children are more important than any style of parenting. Teaching children unconditional love, time management and the proper attitudes, and skills, children grow up confident and feel loved.
... There are many things I learned over this past year and many more things to learn. I will continue to grow.
Raised by my two parents with my mother being the sole caregiver and disciplinary parent. I had a completely different outlook on how I would raise my children when I became a parent. After having my own child, I found out very early on that raising children doesn’t always go as you once planned it would. I often catch myself doing the very same things that my mother once did when raising her children. For instance, I always thought I would never let my child eat junk food or canned foods like we did, but I often let my son eat the very same thing my siblings and I did growing up. I also remember repeating more than once that I would never lose my patience with my children. Although I wish I wouldn’t do that, it is almost impossible not to
Overall, I think I learned that in order to enjoy new things and new experiences I needed to push my boundaries. I will never know if I truly don’t like something if I never try it. Even though I don’t listen to country music very often now I have a new appreciation for it.
One thing I learned is how to calculate discounts with money. When I go shopping and see something I like on sale, instead of running around searching for a price check I can easily calculate its price in my head. Another thing I have learned is how to write a resume. When applying for a job I need to write a resume; it’s an essential part of my future and career. One last thing I learned was the importance of compromise. When working in a group, and not only that, but anywhere you will find people who don’t always agree or even like you. However, if you learn to compromise you can work with anyone, no matter who they are or what they believe. In the workplace, in the grocery store, even at home, you will constantly find people you don’t agree with, but you cannot always dismiss them but must work with
At first, I had a hard time trying to find an older person to interview, because I did not want to interview my family since I’ve lived with them my whole life. While I was getting ready to interview my friend’s parent, I started reading the questions to myself, and I realized that I do not know the answer to them if I ask my parents. I chose to interview my mother because I have never sat down with her and have a serious deep conversation with her. I realized that I am closer to her than my father, but I’m not as close as I thought I was with her, and it broke my heart when I finally realized that. At the age she is, I finally realized that I have been taking advantage of her and I refused to live this way with her. This interview was emotional for both of us, and it also brought us closer to each other. I am so grateful and happy I did this interview with her.
Two of the greatest days of my life were the days my daughters were born. The first time I held the both of them and gazed into their eyes I felt a sense of relief and hope. The feeling is a warm tingling sensation that engulfed my entire body. The emotions that I felt are beyond what words can explain. It’s amazing to me that in the first few minutes of their lives they completely changed my perception of the world.
In the past couple years, I faced emotions of loneliness, worthlessness and even depression. I spent those years trying to figure out what was the cause of these serious emotions and one of the answers that I stumbled upon was when I finally talked to a therapist about dealing with my depression. The simple answer was the relationship with my family and the environment I was in; Figuring out what to do about it was the next giant leap. Throughout history, America has been known as an immigrant country that uses the phrase “The American Dream” over and over, but what is it really? “That dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement.” (James Truslow
I learned to be more responsible and not to do things last minute and the actions have
Understanding and applying above information can help me to adjust and apply new things to my current parenting strategy. Instead of focusing too much on thinking what I should do for my children, I spend time to understand and explore what my children really need in each stage of their life. Especially during adolescence or teenager period, I desire to not only be their mom, but also be their real friend, whom my children can share everything with, even the most secret in their life. Therefore, I learn and practice day-by-day listening to my children, respecting what they want to do, and accepting various aspects of my children. On the other hand, I try all my best to protect my children from dangerous situations, but still prevent overprotecting them from small things, and give them some spaces to explore and learn new things by themselves. Besides that, the hustle and bustle of life easily makes my husband and I fall into some stress issues unintentionally that also affects our parenting approaches. We need to learn to control our temper as much as possible because it is important to be as calm and reasonable when explaining rules or carry them out in front of my children. As parent works are never done, each parent can make mistakes and learning from mistakes also can bring some benefits to adjust our parenting. Although the focus is on the child, my husbands and I never forget about each other. We love, understand and take care each other and proudly show my children that we are happy, united and consistent when doing or saying something to them. We do all my best and enjoy experiencing the toughest yet most meaningful job in our life – the
I think that one of the greatest things that I can do for my kids is to take them seriously and listen to them. My five year old is constantly showing me everything that he learns and it’s very easy to tune him out sometimes, but I think its very important not to. It is important to listen because if you don’t give your kids enough attention they might try and seek it in a negative way. It is important to listen to your children when they have learned something new or want to tell you something that they are proud of. Children seek your approval, and that gives them confidence.
Becoming a mother has been the best part of my life. I became a mother at a very young age. I had no idea what to expect and was not in the least prepared for the journey that lie ahead. I have truly embraced motherhood and enjoy all the wonderful things it has taught me. While living through motherhood, I have found that it can teach you the most valuable lessons there are to learn. Being a mother has taught me how to have patience. I have also learned that being a mother takes a lot on mental and physical strength. My children have been the best to teach me how to juggle many tasks at once. They have made me strong. Even through some unexpected turns, I have learned how to get through hard times and really learn what it means to never give up. My children are my biggest blessing, and I hope they will learn valuable lessons through me. The skills I have learned from being a mother have helped me in my college journey.
I have learned many lessons in the past year and nine months. My life has ultimately been changed by making the decision to let the lessons of motherhood impact my patience level, who I am, and who I am going to be. I am amazed every day how much my life has changed since having my son. I find myself constantly wanting to improve myself from the patience I continue to acquire; to the role model I try to be. I have come to understand that motherhood is not just the act of feeding, bathing, and caring for a child. It is a conscious decision to want better for someone who knows nothing of what the world really is. The decision is driven by an indescribable love; a love that no words do it justice. Therefore, the act of taking the love of my son to another level is what sets me apart from other young mothers.
There are numerous lessons that I have learned from life, they were lessons that I learned from good and bad experiences in life. Different experiences from school and out of school that has made me the way I am today. There is a long list of experiences that in reality did not teach me much.