It’s like having a veil over my eyes. I can’t focus on any one thing but instead my attention is drawn to many things at once. I notice passing conversations while walking down the halls of The Pine Hill clinic. I notice the ambience and the noise around me as I sit and watch football games on the TV. I’m never completely checked into what is in front of me, always walking with something nagging at the back of my head; the constant desire for something forbidden. I know what I’m here to accomplish but I don’t completely understand why I want to do this. These cloudy phases happen every couple hours as a symptom of my abstinence from alcohol. I’ve felt like the journey to overcome my addiction was mine and mine alone. I’d sit by myself in my
room, reading, and only ever leave for meals. That is until my foggy mind helped me see the beam of light in the dark of night. Every day at breakfast I sit in the same table, but one day, one of the head cases walked over to my table and sat down. I paid no attention to his unwelcomed presence and continued eating the mushy oatmeal. The man who sat down was old with thinned white hair and clouded, troubled eyes. He started mumbling to himself while looking down into his hands. My entire focus was on him as a fear slowly built up inside me. “Excuse me sir,” I said timidly, “is something the matter?’” He looked up at me with wild eyes, then continued to stare at his hands and grumble to himself. “Can you stop that,” I said irritated. My mind started to cloud once again and I picked up conversations across the room. “Always frightening when Wild Al comes and does that,” a nurse whispered to her co-worker. “Yeah I bet, I heard he freaked out once and smashed a man’s head in after they tried to tell him to be quiet,” the attendant responded. The room felt tense. I could hear hushed conversations and the sounds of people moving timidly. The veil showed me the eyes of many upon me. I didn’t know what was going on in front of me, but I knew that if I interacted with this strange character, this would be my last day alive. I moved to another table, quietly excusing myself and saw that some of the other alcoholics were beckoning me to sit with them. I quickly went over and sat with them. We started to converse and I realised that I had much in common with them. They invited me to play billiards with them, I realized that I had been tackling this challenge the wrong way -- alone. From then on, they helped me work through my haze and I helped the other alcoholics work through their issues. We spent our days chatting during meals, playing sports and watching football on the TV. It was joyful and almost therapeutic to speak with people in the same boat as me. With the fog lifted from my eyes, I started to see the valiant efforts of the alcoholics. I had finally run and caught up with them on the front lines, ready to fight against the monster that ate away at our families and our lives.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, the source of sobriety is not contained within the alcoholic. Power is given up to God, with powerlessness over alcohol
Gorski, T. T., & Miller, M. (1986). Staying Sober: A Guide for Relapse Prevention. New
Life wasn’t always so bad, or at least that’s what they told me. From what I remember of my child hoods great memories my family speaks so highly of, if there were any at all, are all clouded in my mind by the what I can remember my life being. At times I find myself going thru old pictures of when I was a child and think to myself. Why can't I remember this day? I looked to be a happy healthy baby then my heart turns in a cold way. Growing up to a parent addicted to drugs and alcohol is no way for a child to be raised. I had to grow up at an early age and didn’t truly get to experience life the way a child should. My family tells me Marquise you were so loved by so many people and your Mom tried to do the best she
Generally speaking, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) references substance dependence (in this case, alcohol) as a cluster of cognitive, behavioral, and physiological symptoms that shows that the person is continuing use of the substance even with adverse effects on the individual’s life. Specifically, for a person to be diagnosed with substance dependence they must show at least three of the following symptoms; tolerance, withdrawal, substance being taken in larger amounts of over a longer period of time than intended, an unsuccessful desire or effort to control the use of the substance, there is a great deal of time devoted to the drug, important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced due to the substance, and the individual continues use of the substance even with the knowledge that the substance is causing physical or psychological problems (APA, 2000).
Before this time, Bill and Dr. Bob had each been in contact with the Oxford Group, a mostly nonalcoholic fellowship that emphasized universal spiritual values in daily living(Fingarette 15). During this period, the noted episcopal clergyman, Dr. Samuel Shoemaker, headed the group. Under this spiritual influence, and with the help of an old time friend, Ebby T., Bill had gotten sober and had then maintained his recovery by working with other alcoholics, though none of there had actually recovered (Wekesser 23) . Meanwhile, Dr. Bob’s Oxford Group membership at Akron had not helped him enough to achieve sobriety. When the doctor met Bill, he found himself face to face with a fellow sufferer who had made good (Pitman 62).
It was 3 a.m., and I could hear the argument downstairs. My parents had to do this at 3 a.m.? I got up, walked around for a minute, and went back to bed- I had school the next day. This became an increasingly common occurrence, almost every other day the fall and winter of junior year. The argument had been more or less the same for the last month, centering around my dad's alcoholism and family's money troubles.
Overcoming an addiction to alcohol can be a long and bumpy road. Many people feel that it is impossible to overcome an alcohol addiction. Many people feel that is it easier to be an addict than to be a recovering addict. However, recovering from alcoholism is possible if one is ready to seek the help and support they need on their road to recovery. Recovery is taking the time to regain one’s normal mind, health and strength. Recovery is process. It takes time to stop the alcohol cravings and pressure to drink. For most, rehab and professional help is needed, while others can stop drinking on their own. Recovery never ends. After rehab, professional help or quitting on your own, many people still need help staying sober. A lot of time, recovering
Connecting is part of this wonderful Fellowship of men and women who share experiences, strengths and hope of a better, sober life. The philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous is that alcoholism is a disease and no one is “cured” even if they stop drinking. The members of this informal group focus on staying sober “one day at a time”. And, anyone who desires to stop drinking is welcomed into the
There is a sense of family that is proposed in the chapter of this book, it details how the person reading the book is not alone in their suffering. The solution for the alcoholic is a spiritual experience, believing in something of a higher power allows the alcoholic to become sober. It goes into detail how self-knowledge and the will power is not enough to completely stop drinking. The consequences that follow drinking an alcoholic drink does not enter the mind to deter the person. The chapter explains why there must be a higher power in order for the alcoholic to fully become
The second thing that made me want to get sober was the realization that I couldn't control my drinking-it had become a mental and physical obsession. Since my first drink at the age of twelve I couldn't go a day without a drink, and I could never have just one. By the age of seventeen I was used to drinking a case and a half of beer a day, and for the next two years I lived in a drunken fog. I could not go to school, work, or anywhere else outside my front door without a drink or the promise of one. I finally realized something had to be done when I couldn't get a drink one day and swallowing my own spit made me violently sick. I was forced to drink NyQuil to keep from throwing up because it was the only alcohol in the house.
It’s amazing how a horrific and negative life changing event can encourage and guide you in the path of your future. The end result may not be visible when it first takes place, but the process of a recovery can be extremely educational. You see, I was provided the opportunity of job shadowing firsthand the fields of athletic training and physical therapy due to a knee injury. I believe the majority of people would consider a severely damaged knee a dramatic setback in life. I was able to find the silver lining during the recovery.
Addiction, Is it just an issue or is it one’s choice? Although no one chooses to walk around in their life and decides if he or she has or wants an addiction. An addiction is a “condition of being addicted to a particular substance” (Peele, 2016). One can be addicted to nicotine, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, and even shopping if it has an impact on their everyday life. Consequently, some people with an addiction may reach a point in their life where it can turn harmful, therefore, people need to look for assistance. Even so, people still neglect to talk about addictions because people are ashamed, or in denial, and it is probably not one’s choice of topics that is brought up at your breakfast table, or you may never have confronted anyone before. Still, addiction is all around us, and most people today still do not understand or have misconceptions about addictions because addiction is a disease, and studies have indicated that addictions are a physical defect in the brain, thus, making it hard for some people to give up their addictions on their own.
Before I start to discuss the various ways to get control of substance abuse I
What I found most baffling was how I was completely oblivious to the control that alcohol had on my life. The family tried explaining the pliers-like grip it had on me, but they would further have to explain how I became very defensive when they did so, They indicated how I would incite arguments and become very ill-tempered in response to my inability to calm my cravings. However, I couldn 't even begin to conceive of myself displaying such behavior, especially towards my own family. Learning how my actions had hurt them in such a manner was perhaps the most difficult part to accept as it caused a mass of sorrow to fluctuate my heart and flood my eyes with tears on a regular base. I thought, endeavoring to wrap my mind around it all was literally incomprehensible. Still, something or someone had to be the voice of reason behind the broken furniture, busted walls, and smashed mirrors throughout the house. I came to grips with the fact that everyone could not have been fashioning the exact same fabrication about me and my sudden outbursts.
Everyone was starting to notice that I had a problem. My wife would ask, 'Are you O.K.?' as I hacked and coughed every morning. My friends would joke about how I would run short of breath just from walking to the car. My wallet was really talking to me! Somehow I managed to lose five or six dollars a day somewhere between home and the convenience store. But the only voice I would heed had to come from within myself. Finally one day it did.