Personal Narrative: Becoming A Mortician

Inspiration from the Afterlife: Becoming a Mortician
“That is so weird, Why would you want to work with dead people”, “You are such a weird person, I thought you would want to be a doctor or something”, “That is so gross, the thought of dead people” are the appalling replies I receive when someone ask me what I am planning to major in. When, I was younger, I realized that I had an interest in the medical field, I didn’t want to become the norm such as a doctor, pediatrician or even a nurse. I wanted to help others in my community, but I wanted to have a career in something that no one else would have the guts to even do or even have the strongest stomach to do, I wanted to become a Mortician, someone who works with the deceased and their

grieving families. The person who is responsible for changing my life in the most unthinkable way possible was Mr. Marion Graham, by inspring me and sparking my interest to become a Mortician.
Mr. Graham was about 6ft tall, an older African American man who has been in the funeral home industry for about 20 years or so, he owned his own chain of Funeral Homes, and he even had his own employers to work for him. I was mesmerized about this individual and what he accomplished. Mr. Graham and I first met each other when I was about the young age of 10 years old. On April 20, 2007, was the day when tragedy strikes and shook my whole world. I was in daycare at the time, My younger sister had a doctor’s appointment and she was my mother. Around this time, My younger sister and my parents were supposed to go on an end of the year field trip to the Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. It was a normal day on April 20, I usually get picked up at around 3:30- 4:00 PM. I got picked up by an Aunt and Uncle and they dropped me home from daycare. 15 minutes into the drive, We were nearing my neighborhood, Then suddenly,I heard Ambulance sirens which sounded pretty near, it was behind us and out of respect, my Aunt pulled over to the side to let the Ambulance by, so they could get to their destination and help those in need. The ambulance rushed pasted the car, the sirens still blaring, I watched as the Ambulance had made it around the curve to our house in front of our driveway, instantly, I knew that there was something going on, and it wasn’t anything good. Bad thoughts started going through my mind: What if someone burglarized our home and killed someone? Or “What if the house caught on fire”? We neared the house and I saw swarms of vehicles everywhere, family members with sadness painted on their faces, some bystanders watching the incident like it was some sort of Lifetime Drama. I saw my mother hysterically crying her eyes out, her eyes were so puffy and red. I instantly got out of the car and ran to my mother who was still sobbing. I grabbed her in a bear hug and I was confused as to what was going on around me. I looked up at my mom and I asked her “What was wrong” and she replied through her sobbing “Y-Your f-f--ather p-passed a-a-way”. My eyes started to well up with tears as the tears came sliding down my cheeks and onto my shirt.
My whole world came crashing down around me, The whole incident hit me like a Semi-truck going around 80 mph. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, the one where you never wake up from. I was worried about my mother and how she was going to adjust to the fact that her best friend, her high school sweetheart, and her husband isn’t here. I also worried about my mother on how she was going to raise my younger sister and me by herself. Hours, have passed by and the undertakers have taken my father’s body in a black body bag, put him in the back of a van, and they were off to the hospital for the autopsy. Extensive planning and getting things prepared for the funeral, my mom has been running all week,trying to get the clothes together, the obituaries done, the flowers, the casket preparations,and the venues all ready and prepared for the big day on Saturday.
That Friday, was the viewing, family members from both my father’s and my mother’s side, friends from high school and neighbors from our neighborhood was there, it was crowded in the small viewing rooms.

My mom, my sister, and I was the first to look at my father’s body, chills went down my spine for the first time, as I have never seen a dead person in my life before, maybe in a movie or two, but actually getting to touch a dead person or even interact with the deceased makes it the ultimate first time experience. My mom, my sister, and I hovered over the casket, my father looked a couple shades darker, his skin had a rough texture to it as I put my hand on my father’s hands that were nicely placed on top of one of another. He was nicely trimmed, his hair was trimmed, his eyes were closed, and he looked nice in his suit, my father just looked like he was peacefully sleeping in his bed, just minus the snoring part. I instantly became curious about the deceased, and the process of how they prepared the body for viewing and burial. I wanted to know so many things about this profession and the only way I could get these answers for my questions, it to go find the person who helped make my father look natural as if he was sleeping. As I was trying to find the person who was responsible for the outstanding work that was done, I spotted an older African American man who wore an all black suit standing around looking calm as ever with two other guys who were also wearing a black suit standing near

him.
I walked with confidence over to the men standing in the corner with a calm expression on their faces. I stopped and I examined the men and I stated “Who is the person that has helped with the viewing” and the older man had replied “I am Marion Graham, Funeral Director and I am the one who made your father look as if he was sleeping in his casket” and I replied “Nice to meet you, Mr Graham”. I went to town asking all the different questions of the restorative process such as “Why does my father feel cold”? “Why does my father feel hard and rough?” “How did you get my father’s eyes to stay closed? “How did you get my father’s body in the casket”? And “How did you get my father back to his appearance? Fascinated by the detailed answers I was receiving to my various questions, I grew an instance into the Funeral Services industry, I wanted to know the in’s and out’s of the funeral services industry, I wanted to know what it was like having to work more with the deceased than the living, and the ups’ and down’s of the funeral service industry. I just wanted to know about this funeral service industry and why was it such a looked down upon profession.
After, the viewing and the funeral services, Our lives were back to normal, just with one less person not living their day to day life anymore, I was still going to school, including my young sister, and my mom still going to work but she was taking it the hardest because she lost her best friend, her husband, and her soul mate. One day, Mr. Graham was looking for me at my daycare, He wanted me to meet his daughter who is sort of on the same path,but she is a forensic pathologist who examines deceased bodies to find clues what that specific person died of. But unfortunately, I missed my chance of going into depth of the funeral service industry or even developing another interest in the medical examiner’s field of study and their day to day duties and the pros and cons of the job. I missed my chance of actually meeting Mr. Graham’s daughter because I was on the bus coming to the daycare center. After, I arrived at the daycare center, my mom was there to pick me up and she told me the news that Mr. Graham came to visit the daycare, because he saw that I was so interested in his profession so much, at he wanted me to meet his daughter, who is a forensic pathologist and talk to her about your interest. I was quite disappointed that I missed the opportunity to further my knowledge of the funeral services industry and the knowledge of the medical examiner’s industry.
As years have passed, I have been changing my professions or majors in what I really have a passion and knack for but they weren’t what I was really wanting out of a career and I went from Pre-MD (Pediatrician) to Business Administration to Marketing to Graphic Design to Health Administration to International Business and I didn’t want to go major into a profession that I knew in the long run wasn’t what I truly did not want to do in my life. Ever since, I was little, I knew that I wanted to help others in need or be that shoulder that others can lean on in a time of need, I wanted to be that one person that made a difference in our community and positively influence someone who is interested in the profession that I am going into to follow your dreams and to ignore what others say about the Funeral Services industry. Mr. Graham has inspired me to follow my dreams and that you should do something that you are interested in and something that you love instead of doing it for the money. Mr. Graham told me: “Funeral Services isn’t a job to make money in, but if you love helping those in a time of need , it is a calling”.