Identity in a Small Town: A Personal Experience

As a girl who grew up in the quaint rural town of Red Creek, NY, my identity has always appeared somewhat obvious. Being that I am the second oldest in a group of five, everyone would infer I was identical to my older sister,who was indeed the all around overachiever and brainiac. Whenever a teacher, classmate, or community member heard that I was a Luckette, they instantaneously concluded I was smart, talented and respectful. I was constantly expected to not only be involved in year round sports and after school activities, but to hold leadership positions within these activities. My guidance counselor presumed I would be taking the most arduous courses, and teachers would habitually refer classmates to me for assistance. Thus, I became

that person that my parents and community expected me to be. It was a tremendous amount of responsibility, but it also pushed me to ameliorate myself and work hard.The community saw all five of us as well rounded high achievers; however, within our home, we tended to view each other in a rather contrary way. Perhaps we saw each other through family imposed distortions, or maybe we just saw each other for who we were.
My older sister was indeed the academic one, she was smart and loved school, while I tended to take on the role of the competitive, sporty, and social child. My younger sister was the theatre girl, and we all had our place within our large family. My family, of course, knew that we were all diverse and that we each possesed our own strengths and weaknesses. I studied for hours to get the grades that my older sister would effortlessly receive, and in turn, I spent countless hours attempting to teach her the horseback riding skills that I would naturally pick up. When I got an A on a test we had studied particularly hard for, she was just as excited as me, and when she won a blue ribbon in a horseback show it felt as though I had won too. Together we were able to become all that our family and community expected us to be. We combined our skills to achieve all that was expected of us.
My family and my last name have played a significant role in who I have become, as well as the person I will continue to mature into.

Their way of perceiving me influenced the way I viewed myself. I would study harder, knowing I was supposed to ace through school, and I would practice with greater intensity, knowing that I was expected to be captain of the sports teams I was on. They motivated and pushed me to always strive for more. When I thought something was done well enough, they were consistently there to remind me that I could improve more. When I moved to a new school last year it transformed my outlook on everything. Suddenly, my high school had almost 400 kids per class, as opposed to the 70 I was which which I was accustomed. Instantaneously, I wasn't seen as the smart, over achieving, and athletic girl. I wasn't seen as anything. The slate was completely blank, and I could be anything and anyone that I wanted. I had no social expectations, and suddenly did not know who I was anymore. It was both exhilarating and terrifying, and ever since, I have been rediscovering who I am, not who my last name says I should

be.
Through transitioning to my new school, I was able to to take a step back and figure out what I actually enjoyed doing. Instead of constantly pushing myself to do everything, I got to just relax, and I found a job instead of doing a million clubs and sports I never cared about. I had the opportunity to meet a variety of diverse people and experience what life was like in a fresh place. This course of events have helped to prepare me for college and life afterwards. As I was challenged with a multitude of new situations, I was able to go outside of my comfort zone and develop who I was.
Although I acquired an array of developed skills, my original traits continued to thrive and develop as well.

The competitive drive and hard working characteristics that my family instilled in me will be put to use in my future profession of being a pharmacist. Develop these sentences, include more variety. I have also learned many skills from working as a pharmaceutical technician at Wegmans. I have developed the ability to deal with a multitude of diverse people. As I continue on, in life this one skill that I will repeatedly utilize. Additionally, I volunteer at a horseback riding barn working with kids as well as volunteer babysitting through my church. Through these activities I am able to continue to develop who I am, and prepare myself for the future. When babysitting I often times am able to test my patience, and become creative in the ways that I communicate. Another way that I am able to build upon who I am is through helping to coach a riding team. I enjoy teaching what I am passionate about, and it's a great way to combine my competitive spirit and the social aspect of who I am. The skills and traits that I have accumulated throughout life and the many struggles that come with it have contributed to make me who I am, and they allow me to be successful with all that I do; However, I also have so much more to

learn.
When I took a true colors survey, they pegged me as orange, and I have to say that is fairly accurate. Given the skills that I have acquired, those that I continue to work on I feel that it is quite an accurate analysis. I am flexible, competitive, and independent. I enjoy a challenge and certainly work well when I can try things on my own. The habits of mind that I most relate to are finding humor and remaining open to continuous learning. I tend to laugh and move on when I make a mistake rather than dwell on it, and I always love to learn new things. When I completed the Meyer-Briggs Test, I found that I am an ESTP, meaning that I am an extrovert, sensor, thinker, and perceiver. I found these findings to be somewhat accurate and insightful into how I see myself. I was surprised that between being a perceiver and judger I only had a 3% difference.
In Gastalt’s Theory of Change they talked about the way in which change can occur in the world today. In order to grow and evolve as a person you have to accept yourself and then start working from there. You must first "break down your defenses" and then move forward. I had never really considered how one had to go about changing before, I always thought that it would just come naturally as one progresses through life; However, after reading the theory, I see that one can choose to change herself.
Overall, who I am as a person will continue to change and grow as I do.