Pandora Research Paper

Khadijah Spears
Professor Christina Murphy
English 1010
September 15, 2014
Giving the Gift of Music: Finding Clarity in Pandora
Would you do anything for a loved one? Has anyone ever made you so upset that you felt like you couldn’t take it anymore? I’m one of those people that I will not let anyone mess with or hurt my family in any way. What started out to be a typical Thursday turned into one of the hardest days of my life. However, by the end of the night, I was able to turn it into one of the most meaningful experiences, one that will stay with me for a very long time.
That Thursday, I was having a great day; I cleaned the house, did a little shopping, and was just generally enjoying myself. That night, I picked my mother up from work,

and on the way home, I asked her how her day was. As she began to tell me about her day, I noticed that she was starting to become visibly upset, which worried me; I asked her what was wrong, but she insisted that she was fine. I know how my mother looks when she is angry, sad, or even just generally upset, so I kept asking her what was wrong, hoping that I could eventually wear her down and have her tell me the truth. Finally, she admitted that she had received a text message from Anna, my brother’s girlfriend. I was confused – what kind of text message would upset her this much?
After a lot of persuasion, she finally allowed me to see what Anna had sent her – and I was shocked and surprised by how nasty it actually was. It was a rant through text message – complaining about how my mother and the rest of the family treated Anna, saying that we hated her and did nothing to help her out. She said she was tired of being the go-between for my mother and her boyfriend (my brother), and claimed that my mother had been talking about Anna behind her back ever since she started dating my brother.
As my mother started telling me more about the text messages, plus the awful calls and voicemails she had been receiving from Anna, I was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. I don’t like to let my feelings show, so I stayed silent, letting my mother continue while inside, I was seething. I know that allowing myself to feel this way without addressing it isn’t healthy, and that it might lead to a fight or another altercation that could be handled differently if the time is taken to calm down and think things through. Letting my anger continue to build up is not the right way to handle a situation like this.
Anna and I have already had a lot of problems and differences between us, and we have clashed more than a few times in the past because of it.

She has always known that I do not like the way that she treats my brother, because I have always believed that she is using him, which is very disrespectful. I had been struggling with this frustration and anger towards her for quite some time, which just made me feel worse. I was always taught to be the bigger person, and to mindfully take the right actions for situations like this. However, at this moment, all I could focus on was the look on my mother’s face and the sadness in her voice. I was ready to take

action.
As we arrived home, I immediately noticed that Anna was pulling into the driveway right ahead of us; as we pulled in ourselves, she had just turned her car off and had begun to open her door. The anger flared up within me again and I launched myself towards her. I did not even know what I was going to do once I got to her, but thankfully, I did not have to find out.
My mother literally stopped me in my tracks. She got me to get back in the car and kept me there until I calmed down. Almost immediately, I felt ashamed and angry towards myself – angry because I let another person control how I behaved, reacted, and felt, all of which was completely out of character for me. I took a couple deep breaths and went into the house, heading directly into my room. I waited until everyone else was back in the house, then grabbed a jacket and went to sit outside.
As I sat outside, with the moon and stars shining brightly and a gentle breeze blowing, I realized that this quiet peace was exactly where I needed to be right now.

I started playing and replaying what had just took place in my mind, and began to wonder: why did I let her get to me so badly like that? Should I go in and try to fix it with her – should I even try in the first place? I had my cell phone with me, so, frustrated with myself and for a lack of anything else to distract me, I opened my Pandora app and turned to the gospel station. The song “the Battle is Not Yours, it’s the Lord’s” immediately began playing. I hovered my thumb over the skip button, automatically, but for some reason, I paused and glanced at the title of the song again. As I sat there and started to really listen to the lyrics of the song, I got chills and became teary-eyed, because I felt that, in that moment, the song was talking directly to me. The lyrics were so unbelievably powerful, and I felt that God was telling me to sit back and relax; I didn’t need to take any kind of action because I need to leave this battle up to Him. He has it under control, and will show me the way – He does not need my help with

anything.
Have you ever listened to a song that changed the way you were feeling, that was exactly what you needed to hear at that moment, or even helped you get through a difficult situation? This song changed me for the better; in that one moment, it felt like the song had been chosen to play just for me. The feeling I had after listening to that song was amazing, like I didn’t have to force myself to do anything or say anything, or come up with a solution on my own, because God was ultimately going to take care of it. The song gave me peace and the clarity to see that everything was going to be fine and work itself out, in one way or another. As the song entered its final chorus, I felt something come over me, like I could be completely at peace. As the song ended, I wiped my tears away, taking a deep breath and finding peace from the lyrics of the song and the openness of the beautiful midnight skies.