Online Dating: Myths Broken
You can’t please everybody and every day is a battle. When you reach a higher place, many want to put you down and sometimes they use drastic measures to make it. Drastic measures mean rumors and slams. It is the same thing with everything and so with the online dating as it is a rising community in social media and love hunt.
Online dating as a popular means of making relationships with different people around the world has been attacked by those drastic measures. Negative myths appear about and discourage people to engage in this fascinating, unconventional method of dating. But myths are just myths, they can be broken.
The most widespread myth of all is that everyone lies. It is believed that because online dating is not face to face people can easily lie. Actually, users tend to exaggerate their profiles, and these kinds of lies are light and common even on offline date. However, creating false identities or faking emotions, which are considered major lies, are very rare because people, who want to find a date, know it is important to be honest and accurate in order to find their perfect match. They cannot afford disappointment if it costs them serious relationships.
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Dating site is like a condensed village of different types of people. Some are too busy in their business or position to have personal engagement; some are too shy to mingle with others eye to eye; and some are just looking for fun. Desperate people look for instant hook up which is not the case for dating sites. Just because dating sites have a bunch of possible soul mate it takes an instant to find it. Finding the right one for you takes time, and the more desperate you are, the likelier you get a person lesser than you
And the heart, even in this commercial age, finds a way”(222)—implying that, although not perfect, online romance can work. He evidences his statement by illustrating how online dating “slows things down” (221), “puts structure back into courtship” (221), and “is at once ruthlessly transactional and strangely tender” (221). For example, he describes how couples might “exchange email for weeks or months” (221) when using a dating site, effectively slowing the dating process and adding more structure to courtship. He displays the transactional and sensitive side of Internet dating when he points to Internet exchanges between couples that “encourage both extreme honesty (the strangers-on-a-train phenomenon) and extreme dishonesty, as people lie about their ages, their jobs, whether they have kids and, most often, whether they are married” (222).
This article presents the deceptions of online dating through the users profiles through self-presentation, emotions and trustworthiness.
There is no doubt that recent technological advancements have changed the way humans interact with one another in the 21st century. Through email, text messages, and social networking sites, we are able to get in touch with people all over the world in a much faster and more efficient manner than in previous years. Since modern technology has become such an integral part of our everyday lives, it is certainly not uncommon for two people to meet and connect with each other via the Internet. Members of this relatively new subculture of online daters invest a great deal of time and energy into their romantic affairs. In fact, according to Robert Epstein’s “The Truth About Online Dating,” advertising materials from the largest online dating services suggest that over 50 million Americans are currently using such services, and that they are wholly satisfied with the results (34). Unfortunately, however, the controversial subject of online relationships in modern society is frequently misrepresented by the media. Many films and television shows exaggerate the risks associated with online dating, choosing to highlight extreme examples of lies and deception for the sake of maintaining their dramatic quality. Other forms of media tend to romanticize online dating, consequently giving Internet users unrealistic expectations for their own relationships. Whether it depicts the frightening or idealized side of online dating, popular culture makes a conscious effort to feature sensationalized stories in order to appeal to a target audience that relies solely on entertainment. As a result, the truth about Internet dating is not adequately conveyed, which ultimately results in the public’s distorted image of such online practices.
The movie catfish is based online dating gone wrong, and it really gives it a bad name. Not only that, you can also see that the idea of online dating has transformed dramatically in a short period of time. Online dating has taken many turns in a sense of trustworthiness and now there are many people wandering if it is okay to continue to date online. Now the media (movies like catfish) has many effects on relationships through online dating, it make other hesitant about trying online relationships. Is what you see online see or meet online is really love or infatuation? What is appealing about online dating, and why has it become so popular? Lastly are there any pros to look forward to when it comes to online dating.
With social networking services being more and more popular, it is universal to have online dating. According to a report, “over 40 million Americans have given online dating a try, and over a third of the American couples married between 2005 and 2012 met online.” This phenomenon causes us to think deeply about whether online dating is advisable or not. Because of the rapid development of technology and economy, many stressed people are eagerly seeking confidence and self-identity through the internet. Therefore, online dating has become a new and acceptable method of loving subconsciously. However, it should never replace meeting a person in real life because it may be spurious, illusory and fragile.
In the United States, unattached men and women in their 20s and 30s are experiencing an unprecedented explosion of possibilities when meeting other singles. While well-established means still exist, such as meeting companions through family, friends, church, at work, and while attending college there is a growing number of people meeting their partners online. Convenience coupled with a seemingly endless supply of dating options is killing romance by lowering expectations and evolving what previous generations have thought of love.
With technology advances steadily in today’s society, individuals steadily advance too. One of these aspects includes dating. Individuals in today’s society hope to find companionship through online dating websites so that someday some online daters might be able to find a companion. With websites like eHarmony, Match, Christian Mingle, OkCupid, Black People Meet, and JDate, finding the one seems to be easier and more convenient than ever. Most of these websites even display statistics showing that one out of five relationships start online. The questions that should be asked, is this a better and safer option than looking for the one in person? Individuals tend to ignore the possible risks involving online dating. They are willing to release personal information from pictures of oneself, to locations of where they work, or live just for the possibility of finding a companion. The online users have to ask themselves: is the risk worth it in the end, or does the benefit outweighs the cost? When searching for a companionship through online dating websites, negative aspects such as profiles, self-presentation, self-disclosure, predators and sexual mishaps, may outweigh the positive aspects and cause more problems and strife then actual good.
Introduction- 41,500,000 people in the U.S. have tried online dating at some point in their lifetime. In fact, 5 people in this room out of 12 have tried online dating.
Toma, C. L., Hancock, J. T., & Ellison, B. N. (2008). Separating fact from fiction: An examination of deceptive self-presentation in online dating profiles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 1023-1036.
Online dating offers chances to people who feel more comfortable behind a screen rather than getting so nervous in front of a person that they are unable to speak. It allows them to interact with someone whom they would be uneasy to speak with in real life. Moreover, in traditional dating first impressions truly matter while online, people have chosen the best for their dating profiles. “People were ready to admit that going on actual "dates" was full of pressure and not very enjoyable. Traditional dating, they pointed out, encouraged an overly formal, inauthentic vibe that ultimately hindered instead of helped their efforts to make romantic connections” (Massa). Many do feel shy to ask the person they are interested in on an official date as they are not actually sure what the other person feels and needs more than the opinion of friends to take a step while asking someone online relieves that stress as the possibility of seeing that person in real life is low along with it messing with the asker’s personal life if it is a
Online dating is on the rise of becoming a world wide phenomenon. Millions of people sign up each year to trendy dating websites such as Match, eHarmony, and Zoosk. Instead of being traditionally introduced to potential partners through family or friends, individuals are joining online dating communities. From young adults to elders, dating websites offer a wide spectrum of individuals from various cultures, religions, financial status, and professions. The total number of people who have once tried online dating is a little over 41 million. (“Online Dating Statistics”). However, research studies and surveys find that online dating can also cause numerous relationship and personal issues, such as trust issues, false identity, and infidelity, particularly for those who already suffer from a lack of confidence.
They also pointed out that there are different experience between online dating and traditional dating. Users of online dating can filter the partners by reading the profiles from lots of choices. They need to arrange a time to meet each other in order to have face-to-face communication (9).
The article “Love Via The Internet”[3]. The writer started the article by showing her own opinion clearly about the long distance relationships through the dating websites “I'm having doubts about a long-distance relationship that started through a dating site.”[3]. Then she started to give an example of a relationship via the...
Online dating has changed the way people look for romantic partners. With websites like match.com, okcupid and even mobile sites like tinder finding a partner is only a few clicks away. These sites make it easy for the users to change small things like height, weight and even make their profession sound better. With the rise of photoshop the the ability to find any photograph on the internet, many online daters are cautious when using the sites. “In a survey of online dating users, over 80% of participants registered concerns that others misrepresent themselves” (Gibbs, Ellison, & Heino, 2006), and, in another large-scale survey, “deception was identified as the biggest perceived disadvantage of online dating” (Brym & Lenton, 2001). This research is extremely important as a way to see why exactly people use online dating and why they attempt to self enhance or take it far enough to just be deceptive.
Online dating gives people searching for a new union an edge that they didn’t have before. They are able to “shop” for potential connections before their initial contact. According to Droge and Voirol (2011), online dating is here to stay because it allows people to more carefully choose their partner. They are able to filter through the profiles on a dating site and determine which characteristics they like or dislike about someone before they make the decision to communicate with that person. Internet users are more likely to communicate with someone who has similar interests (Hitsch, Hortacsu, & Ariely, 2010). If someone’s favorite kind of music is one that you despise most, you’ll most likely not trigger a conversation with them. You’re able to look at attributes that are important to you and filter out those persons that don’t fit into who you are potentially looking for.