Zorina Anderson The purpose of the article “Navigating Love and Autism” by Amy Harmon is to emphasize that autistic people can achieve love, even though the struggles of autism are present. In this article, Jack and Kirsten both have autism and are working to build a dating relationship. For Kirsten and Jack, being comfortable is a huge aspect in their relationship. After their first night together, [Kirsten] smiled at [Jack] the next morning, her lips seeking his, he turned away. “I don’t really like kissing,” he said. Kirsten [...] drew back. If he knew she was disappointed, he showed no sign. On that fall day in 2009, Kirsten did not know that someone as intelligent and articulate as Jack might be unable to read the feelings of others, or gauge the impact of his words. [...] But she found comfort in Jack’s forthrightness. If he did not always say what she wanted to hear, she knew that whatever he did say, he meant. (Harmon 1-2) By finding the qualities in each other that make them comfortable, like “Jack’s forthrightness”, they have pushed through the tough and awkward moments and enjoyed the good moments. Harmon highlights Jack not wanting a kiss to show that love can be achieved in ways that are …show more content…
non-traditional. Harmon uses this to show that love can cross many bridges and fill many holes where social awkwardness may leave empty. For Jack and Kirsten, it was difficult; they worked hard to keep close to each other because “the months that followed Jack and Kirsten’s first night together showed how daunting it can be for the mindblind to achieve the kind of mutual understanding that so often eludes even nonautistic couples” but it also showed that “if the tendency to fixate on a narrow area of interest is sometimes considered a drawback, it may also explain one couple’s single-minded determination to keep trying” (2). The determination, Jack and Kirsten showed in their relationship, was key as they kept fighting for love. Harmon shows that Kirsten and Jack have worked to improve their relationship. They keep fighting to stay close to each other even when their autism wants to draw them apart. Jack and Kirsten have used what makes them comfortable with each other and determination to strive to grow in their relationship. Harmon shows, through Jack and Kirsten, that autistic people, who continually strive to build a relationship and who is determined to fight can achieve love. Harmon's primary audience is parents of autistic children. She works to educate parents of autistic children about the desires of the child to have relationships. Harmon writes: Because they have a hard time grasping what another is feeling- a trait sometimes described as “mind blindness”- many assumed that those with such autism spectrum disorders were incapable of, or indifferent to, intimate relationships. [...] Yet as they reach adulthood, the overarching quest of many in this first generation to be identified with Asperger syndrome is the same as many of their nonautistic peers: to find someone to love who will love them back. The recent recognition that their social missteps arise from a neurological condition has lifted their romantic prospects, they say, allowing them to explain behavior once attributed to rudeness or failure of character- and to ask for help.(2) Using Kirsten and Jack's experiences, Harmon educates parents about some of the difficulties and coping strategies faced by autistic children.
She educates parents about the process of building a relationship with someone and the challenges that come with it because of the lack of ability of “grasping what another is feeling”. Harmon touches on the danger parents being overprotective of their children and highlights on parents working so hard at only helping with school and friendships that they overlook or forget that the autistic child, when older, still wants to “find someone to love who will love them back”. Later in the article, Harmon addresses the parents again about being overprotective. Kirsten was asked this question from a parent in an
interview: “Where do you guys see your relationship going in the future?” she asked. “No pressure.” Kirsten looked at Jack. “You go first,” she said. “I see it going along the way it is for the foreseeable future,” Jack said. [...] “So I guess you’re saying, there is hope in the future for longer relationships,” the mother pressed. Kirsten gazed around the room. A few other adults had crowded in. “Parents always ask, “Who would like to marry my kid? They're so weird” she said. “But, like, another weird person, that’s who" (15-16). Using this interview to educate parents that the fear of a child being alone is real, Harmon shares with the parents that this fear is not a big concern. Harmon doesn't diminish this but encourages the parents with the idea that everything will work out. If a parent's child is weird, they will just hang out with other weird people. Harmon also emphasizes how parents often have big dreams for their child that may not always work out. Harmon works to educate to parents about the daily situations faced by autistic people when trying to build relationships. The author, Amy Harmon, comes close to the readers through sharing Kirsten’s tough emotions. By getting the reader to have sympathy for Kirsten, Harmon achieves pulling the reader in close. She uses an argument about Jack and Kirsten not agreeing to get a cat to highlight this. Harmon writes: It was obvious to [Kirsten], too. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Jack told her. They could both see the meltdown coming. This time, as she huddled, sobbing, in a chair in the living room, he stretched out next to her on the couch. “Go in the other room,” she told him. “You don't have to be here.” But he wouldn’t leave.(12) The use of keywords like “huddled,” “sobbing,” and “meltdown” are to evoke sympathy for Kirsten from the reader. Harmon is trying to get the reader to be apart of the story and to feel bad for Kirsten; she does this by being open to the reader about the emotions felt by Kirsten. Later on in the argument, Harmon writes: “Forget it, then,” Jack said absently. He had not meant it as a final word. But Kirsten, feeling tears welling up, employed one of the new strategies she had discussed in therapy: going out for a drive, rather than wallowing. Jack called on her cell phone almost as soon as she pulled out of their street. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Are you — leaving?” Trying to control her voice, she said nothing. And then, she managed, “No.” She was driving into Amherst, hoping to see a friend. (14-15) In order to bring the reader in close, Harmon makes the reader feel bad for Kirsten. She uses the words "welling" and "wallowing" to evoke sympathy for the reader. Harmon wants the reader to pick sides to get involved in Kirsten’s life and feel attached to her. She also emphasizes that Kirsten is a human being with emotions. In the article, Harmon talks about the autism stereotype of not having any emotions. Harmon writes, "[Kirsten is] not a robot [...] [she is] a human being"(5). Harmon uses this to emphasize that autistic people do have feelings. All the "welling," "wallowing," "sobbing," and "huddling" is because Kirsten has emotions. She wants the reader to connect and feel close to Kirsten, so that the reader feels as if they know Kirsten and no longer judge her. Harmon uses these emotions to evoke sympathy from the reader to draw them in close to the story and feel connected to it. In terms of organization, Harmon uses a total of eight headings in the article to make transitions between writing styles. Harmon uses this transition as she describes a challenge faced by Jack and Kirsten, she writes: Road Bumps From the beginning, their physical relationship was governed by the peculiar ways their brains processed sensory messages. Like many people with autism, each had uncomfortable sensitivities to types of touch or texture, and they came in different combinations. Jack recoiled when Kirsten tried to give him a back massage, pushing deeply with her palms. "Pet me," he said [...] (6) Harmon uses the heading “Road Bumps” to switch her writing style during each section. She starts each section with a biography style form of writing about Kirsten and Jack and then transitions into a narrative style writing where she is adding in details about autism. She uses different writing styles to make connection between pieces and emphasize main points. Harmon gives another example of this in one of Jack and Kirsten’s arguments. Under the heading "The Diagnosis," Harmon writes: There was the characteristic of autism- focusing on a detail rather than the whole- that seemed to define the nitpicky arguments [Kirsten] and Jack had daily, even hourly, it sometimes seemed. There was the one, for example, when they were trying to recount something that had happened at a particular hotel, but could not advance past the semantics of its size. “The hotel was miles wide, “Kirsten had started. “And-” “It was not ‘miles’ wide,” Jack had broken in. “It was maybe an acre, but not a mile wide, I can guarantee it.” “I don’t think you can guarantee it,” she had retorted- and so on. These fights, which Jack had dubbed "Aspie arguments," we're not soul- sapping, like the ones where he could not comprehend her need for a certain kind of comfort and she could not abide his inability to give it. (9-10) Harmon switches writing style two times in this section. She writes narratively about the the characteristics of autism that make it easy to have a fight and kind of fight it is; she, then, transitions into a biographical writing as she talks about the fight itself. Harmon uses the heading to start new styles of writing and signal transitions between the two. Harmon organizes her article by the use of headings and different writing styles.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents may have a difficult time accepting their child, and coping with their needs and the responsibilities. From the book “The Elephant in the Playroom,” some families dealt with depression and physical and mental deterioration of their health. These struggles were shown in the story by Laura Cichoracki. Laura’s son’s name was Patrick. Patrick was a 6-years-old boy with autism. “I wasn’t eating right, I wasn’t showering regularly, I wasn’t sleeping well” (Brodey, p. 64). I also read the story told by Susan Marrash-Minnerly, which highlighted emotions that parents face. Susan also shed light on how wonderful children with special needs can be to a family, such as her ten-year-old third grader who had autism. Susan talked about how it was normal to feel angry at times, especially with the ups and downs a child’s disability may come with. “When I look back, I want to tell other parents that a child’s future is worth grieving over – but it’s not the end of the world” (Brodey, p. 75). After reading these stories, it became apparent to me that families who are raising kids with special needs, need support, kindness, and available resources. “I was fortunate to be surrounded by other moms who understood my pain…who could be supportive and emphatic.” (Brodey, p. 67). Overall, educators can use this kind of information that was shared in “The Elephant in the Playroom” about family systems and risk/resiliency by creating lines of open communication between families. This is to connect parents together that share similar struggles. By creating open communication is can allows for the teacher and parents to be on the same page when it comes to the issues affecting special needs students and
This book was a great read. The heartwarming tale of two young children who manage to overcome the disability under the category of autism. The author, the mother of these two children, uses her language to make the reader feel connected with the struggles of the family and the elated feeling when the children are deemed functioning within normal levels. This book gives insight on several different therapies, some that seemed helpful and others that seemed silly. It touches on the subject of inclusion as well. This book allows individuals to relate to those who have children with autism and gives parents of children with autism hope that their child's disability is not a permanent one.
To begin defines what autism is, and the stress that is bestowed onto the caregivers that support a child with this type of mental disability. Adam M. Hutton, the author, had conducted an interview of 21 families about the recognition, diagnosis of autism in their child, services accessed, and the impact of having a child with autism on their family. A common thread throughout the thesis is the empowerment of families, that have to endure the joys and hardships that come with having a child with specific needs. The author also encourages families to use the resources available to them to better care for this type of
Whilst the concept of autism and what it means to be autistic is still widely unrecognised by many, Mark Haddon’s use of conventions of prose fiction and language amplifies the distinctive qualities of the text. Haddon exemplifies key themes such as the struggle to become independent, the nature of difference and the disorder of life through the strategic placement of literary devices.
For people who do not live with autism, trust is important and the base for most relationships. Without
have to go with Jack because they are afraid of him .For instance , “You got to go because it’s not
When Jack does this, the information remains the main focus rather than the story and the story was sometimes clumped together without any information given. The story and information elements are there, but the whole process of creating this test was sometimes filled with just information. In addition, some of the things he talked about while trying to weave the information and story together were rushed and as a result, the story aspect of creating the actual test moved to getting it approved. Sometimes, the information seems to become the main focus while the story gets pushed to the side as if it was nothing, suspending the story as more information was added in between each part of the
Jack wasn’t exactly the healthiest of children as a kid. When he was two and-a-half years old Jack caught the scarlet fever, both a contagious and deadly illness. Although Jack eventually got better, as a result of his history with the scarlet fever he was a very weak, and sickly child. While Jack was spending so much time in bed, from being sick so often, he read books, one after another. Jack had always loved reading history, and he had a passion for writing. He was even the only boy at school to subscribe to the New York Times. On the occasion that Jack wasn’t sick, he tried to live up to his brother Joe Jr. Joe was two years older, meaning he was stronger, faster, and smarter. All of the Kennedy children looked up to Joe, including Jack.
The Progress of Love by Alice Munro Plot: Woman gets a call at work from her father, telling her that her mother is dead. Father never got used to living alone and went into retirement home. Mother is described as very religious, Anglican, who had been saved at the age of 14. Father was also religious and had waited for the mother since he first met her. They did not have sex until marriage and the father was mildly disappointed that the mother did not have money.
The autobiographical novel, Somebody Somewhere, by Donna Williams demonstrates the road to recovery by an autistic, with multiple personality disorder. Williams reveals her battle with day to day encounters with family, friends, colleges and aquantences, because she cannot communicate with them. Chris Slater, an 18 year old, recovering, socially functioning autistic explains autism as “communication disorder”. He feels that autistic people “don’t have the ability or the instinct...
Jack’s reaction shows evidence of his happiness of his new found brother. The same man that played his brother in their mind games with friends and family.
At the end of the story, Jack realizes that blending in with society is not ideal. He regrets the past decade that was full of loss and regret when it could've been full of trust and love. People may be tempted to make unwise decisions to blend in with society. But think about it: the world is like a crowded marketplace. If you don’t stand out, you are invisible. Unique qualities define your identity. Without them, you are not yourself. At least on Qingming, the mother’s poor spirit can rest easy, knowing her son is with her in heart, but that can never make up for the years of hurt and betrayal directed at
telling him to “shut up”. Jack is disinterested in anything that does not satisfy his basic needs or
...to grow and increase yearly, one can imagine the effect on society these rates already have, and can possibly have with continued growth. It will not be long before autism becomes the normal society. That is a concern will should all share as creatures of earth. All families that are faced with autism will find happiness with the life shared with an autistic individual. Sadly, these individuals face bullying, and social rejection. They deal with health care rejections, and limited services available into adulthood. A future unknown. Although these individuals are different, that doesn’t mean they are less. As humanity, we need to treat everyone as an equal part of this important reality we call existence. Autistic individuals are the quietest souls, but that may only be because we haven’t learned to pay attention. Autism speaks, so isn’t it time to listen (htt1)?
Janice A. Radway teaches in the literature program at Duke University. Before moving to Duke, she taught in the American Civilization Department at the University of Pennsylvania. She says that her teaching and research interests include the history of books and literary production in the United States, together with the history of reading and consumer culture, particularly as they bear on the lives of women. Radway also teaches cultural studies and feminist theory. A writer for Chronicle of Higher Education described Radway as "one of the leaders in the booming interdisciplinary field of cultural studies." Her first book, Reading the Romance (1984) has sold more than 30,00 copies in two editions. Her second book, A Feeling for Books: The Book-of-the-Month Club, Literary Taste, and Middle-Class Desire appeared in October of 1997. What follows is a topic-outline of the introduction to the English version of her first book.