My Father’s Actions Will NOT Dictate My Future

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In the midst of the summer heat, I still could not believe that I was actually sitting in a classroom at Saint Peter’s College listening to strangers that I’d only known for a few weeks who were reading their personal letters in front of me. We were all instructed to compose a letter to a person whom we felt was worthy of another chance at reconstructing a botched relationship that we had with them. The most strikingly profound letter read was by a girl named Diana. She walked to the front of classroom with dignity and poise with her letter in hand. She began explaining how she could forgive her father for not being a part of her life. Diana looked forward to giving her father another chance. The room grew silent. At that moment, I came to the realization that I was not alone. I felt Diana’s tribulation. By the time she neared the end of her letter, Diana was flush with tears. She touched her new classmates, including my heart that shares the same agony. Suddenly, I understood how not having a father around inspires an overwhelming dream to be part of a nuclear family, but such an impossibility also weighs the heart with a heavy emotional loss.

Yet, I’m not alone. According to the Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002, out of seventy two million children who resided in the United States as of March 2002, 16.5 million children are living with a single mother. In addition, We the American Children showed that children living with two parents declined dramatically from seventy-seven percent in 1980 to seventy-two percent in 1990. Those living with one parent increased from eighteen percent to twenty-four percent. As the years progress, millions of American children will eventually suffer from not having a father in their lives, as Diana and I have suffered.

What is a father? A father embodies jurisdiction. He is the “good guy that chases all of the bad guys away.” In addition, with such control, this father teaches his child how to interact with the real world. He has the capability to put restrictions on certain activities that include letting his child go outside to play or letting his daughter socialize with a boyfriend. People need these guidelines in their daily lives in order to cope with conflicts. Although a single mother can take on both characteristics of being gently “mom” and stern “father,” she still possesses that maternal bond that will forever comfort her child in acceptance.

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