Mother-Daughter Relationships In Carrie And Gilmore Girls

Adolescence is the point in a person’s life that plays a vital role in the formation of the man or woman they are to become. Not every journey or experience is the same, but every girl and boy has to go through it to officially be ushered into the adult world. For a young lady, the most important thing in her journey to womanhood is her mother. The mother plays the role in guiding her daughter through her adolescent experiences in a healthy way. She is able to use her experiences to teach her daughter but also allow her daughter to learn from her own mistakes and make her experience her own. In the novel Carrie written by Stephen King and the television series Gilmore Girls created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, there are two examples of mother/daughter relationships and the effects the mothers had on their daughter’s transitions through adolescence into adulthood. The two relationships differ because of maternal and community support, maternal guidance and teachings to the daughter on how to be a woman, parenting styles, and honesty about the mistakes the mother’s made. The relationships are similar because both girls are in high school,

both live in single parent homes where the mother cares for them, they both experience some form of bullying in school, both mothers do not want their daughters to make the same mistakes as them, and a boy contributes to both of their journeys to womanhood.
On one end of the scale, there is Carrie and her mother Margaret White who had a very negative relationship that ultimately contributes to Carrie’s demise. On the other end Lorelai and Rory Gilmore had a positive close knit relationship that contributed to Rory experiencing a healthy positive experience through adolescence. Unlike Rory, Carrie did not have a smooth positive journey through adolescence because her mother and the people around her played such a negative role in her life. One of the differences between Carrie and Rory is the support from the mother figure and community. Carrie had no one in her town that supported her or helped her to navigate through her transition to adulthood. When raising a child it takes a village and Carrie did not have that. This caused her to suffer in several areas to becoming a woman. Unlike Carrie, Rory had plenty of people in her town who loved and supported her. In the small town they lived in everyone around lived there for years creating a bond and solid relationship with each other. The whole community collectively helped to raise Rory and watch out for her.
Another difference between Carrie and Rory is the lack of positive maternal guidance. A major problem when it came down to Carrie was that she had no one to inform her on what being a woman really was and the measures you had to go through in order to be a woman. The opening locker room scene proved that Margaret White did not well equip Carrie for adult womanhood. Carrie physically began to make the transition into womanhood. She had no idea what a menstrual cycle was or even know how to care for herself when having her cycle because her mother failed to teach her these things. The girls in the locker room chanted and tormented her saying “PER-iod, PER-iod, PER-iod!” (7) Margaret also did not really teach Carrie how to love herself and help her build confidence; instead, she helped tear her down and ultimately lead to the destruction of herself and others. When she finally stepped from underneath her mother’s hold she started embracing herself and then she really grasped the concept of being a woman. For at least a split second Carrie actually believed that she could be beautiful and be social with others when she states, “ Momma please see that I have to start to…to try and get along with the world. I’m not like you....I want to try and be a whole person before it’s¬¬¬¬¬¬ too late to”. (112)Rory on the other had several female figures around to help raise and mold her into the best woman she could be. She had her mother, grandmother, her mother’s best friend Sookie, and a lot of other female influences around the neighborhood.
The third difference between Carrie and Rory is the parenting styles Margaret White and Lorelai Gilmore choose to raise their daughters. Lorelai chooses to run a democracy based household where her and Rory made decisions together on what works best for them both unless otherwise. One instance where Lorelai had to make the decision for them both was when Rory decided she did not want to transfer schools anymore because she had her first crush on a boy from the school was about to leave. Lorelai states, “Okay fine. We always had a democracy in this house. We never did anything unless we both agreed. But now I guess I’m going to have to play the mom card. You are going to Chilton whether you want to or not. Monday morning, you will be there, end of story.” (Gilmore Girls) Lorelai not only played the role of a mother but also a friend and confidant. Rory was able to trust her mother and ask for advice about boys and various other things that Carrie could not do with her mother. Carrie and her mother could not really get along because Margaret chooses to live by certain religious practices and tried to force those practices upon Carrie. Margaret also punished Carrie in very brutal ways that ultimately pushed her further away from Carrie. She goes as far as having a designated closet that she locked Carrie in when she feels she needs to pray for forgiveness for the things she feels is sin.
The fourth difference is the honesty and openness the mothers had with their daughters about their mistakes. Lorelai is very open with Rory about how she gave birth to her at a very young age. She states, “I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink.” (Gilmore Girls). Lorelai’s mother will never let her live this mistake down which is why they constantly bump heads Lorelai ultimately wanted to raise Rory in the ways she was not raised. She wanted her to be able to have a voice and say so when making decisions and have a trust factor between them. Both Lorelai and Margaret wanted to keep their daughters from making the same mistakes they made when they were their age.
In contrast to Lorelai, Margaret is not very open and honest with Carrie about her mistakes she has made. Margaret eventually reveals that at one point in her life she has made a mistake even though at times she tries to act like she has never made a mistake. Margaret White confesses her sin saying, “After the first time, before we were married, he promised. Never again. He said we just…slipped. I believed him. I fell down and lost the baby and that was God’s Judgement” (247). She reveals that her and her husband Ralph had pre-marital intercourse, but it will never happen again. Margaret loses the baby, and she claims that it was the judgement of God. Margaret is still unable to fully own up to her mistakes. This teaches Carrie bad habits which is not good when learning the ins and out to womanhood.
Although the two mother/daughter relationships are very different, they are also similar.

Firstly, both Carrie and Rory are teenage girls trying to be successful in becoming the ideal women while still learning and struggling along the way. Secondly, they also both lived in small towns and were high school students. High school is a place for both Carrie and Rory that played an important role in their rites of passage in different ways. For Carrie it represented a temporary up rise to an ultimate downfall. She thought she would finally be able to fit in. Rory’s experience was more positive. She made friends at both her old and new school. Thirdly, Rory and Carrie both have girls who dislike them in high school who try to start problems and bully them. Unlike Carrie, Rory was able to handle herself against the mean girls in her

school.
Lorelai and Margaret are similar because of the fact that they are raising their daughters on the own although for different circumstances. Lorelai refused to marry Rory’s father, Christopher, because she felt they were too young and it would not work out. She chose raise Rory on her own while Christopher attempts to come back into Rory’s life throughout the series. Margaret’s husband died in February of 1963 at a housing-project job. She had no friends so she was left to endure the bereavement of her husband and labor of her child by herself.
In conclusion, a mother plays the most import role in guiding a young girl into an adult women. With Margaret White and Lorelai Gilmore we see that in some ways they are different while also having some similarities. Carrie and Rory both are around the same ago where guidance is very important for a smooth transition. Stephen King and Amy Sherman-Palladino provide to very different stories and outcome about going through adolescence. The two mother daughter relationships are more different than similar. Carrie and Margaret are an example of how a negative mother/daughter relationship can lead to a failed attempt to transition into adulthood smoothly and in a healthy matter. Rory and Lorelai exemplify how a healthy and honest mother/daughter relationship can lead to a smooth transition into mother. Other factors like support from the community, single parent household, parenting styles, school environment, and the morals and values the mother holds, all play a part in how the experience the daughter has with navigating through adolescence.