Mixed Signals: Why People Misunderstand Each Other

Many people feel that no one can understand them. A simple compliment might be taken for a sarcastic observation, and a friendly suggestion can ruin lifelong friendships. They may feel frustrated at the fact that everyone misunderstands them and blame it on themselves. Is it really their fault, that no one truly knows them? Of course not! Emotions are like grains of sand on a beach. There are millions, possibly billions of them, and every piece looks the same, yet are still uniquely different. It is no wonder then, that people commonly mistake emotions, never getting to know those close to them very well. The complexity of human character and the brain’s tendency for assumptions means the impossibility of ever truly knowing someone. Often

It is quite common for one to understand themselves well, but for everyone else to have no clue about their intentions. This is a very common effect called the “transparency illusion”, as Emily Esfahan Smith explains in her article, “Mixed SIgnals: Why People Misunderstand Each Other”. According to many psychologists, the transparency illusion is “the belief that what [people] feel, desire, and intend is crystal clear to others, even though they have done very little to communicate clearly what is going on inside their minds” (Smith). One person might be angry about something, and thinks that he or she is displaying it very clearly that they don't want to talk to anyone. Whereas, others see a troubled person in need, and try to comfort him or her. This is why so many conflicts happen from misinterpreted emotions, because people feel they expressed their emotions clear enough, when actually they are still keeping it hidden. However, the transparency illusion is not the only

Contrary to what many might think, the human mind is easily swayed by bias. In addition to the “primacy effect”, initial image is a key component during judgement of other people. Smith explains that, “the information that one person learns about another in his early encounters with that person powerfully determines how he will see that person ever after” (Smith). After seeing a person, the mind takes a “snapshot” of him or her, hence the name snap judgements. This snapshot is associated with that person for a very long time, or even possibly their entire existence, because of the brain’s tendency to make assumptions based on prior knowledge. Everyone has different moods at different times of the day. However, initial impressions take one’s current state, and applies it to them for all future cases. This is why stereotypes are such a big problem today. When a new ethnic or social group is introduced, their initial impression is taken as a snapshot by society. Now no matter how much that group changes, or how diverse their members might, that initial image will be applied to all of them by society. This is exactly what happened to German soldiers during WWII. When Americans heard about Hitler and the horrors of the Nazi regime, that initial image was applied to all Germans they met. Loren Jackson, an American pilot shot down near occupied France, recalls being