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Essays on indian marriage
Indian culture in regards to marriage
Indian culture in regards to marriage
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Meet the Patels is an hour and twenty eight minute documentary following the life of Ravi Patel as he goes on an expedition to find love. However, ‘love’ for Ravi is not ordinary in the slightest way. Finding love in Ravi Patel’s case is an extraordinary adventure around the world to find his Indian match. Imagine going on many dates set up by your parents and Indian Marital websites in hopes of not just finding a relationship, but a marriage. A commitment you are expected to make for the sake of your culture and family.
Watching this documentary was a roller coaster of emotions for myself. At times I was excited for Ravi before his countless dates, but I was also exhausted at how much time and money was put forth to find someone that met the criteria for his culture. Finding a spouse seemed a lot like trying to acquire a job. You’d fill out at applications and send them out, as well as receive them. Most of it wasn’t based off of falling in love, a lot of it was based off how well two people might fit together. It made me feel thankful that, for myself, trying to become married was never gonna be about my culture and whether or not I was a little chubby. My parents are never going to make me a dating resume, in hopes that men could get past my love for crocheting and slightly crooked teeth. I found myself wanting there to be romance involved for Ravi’s sake, but I had to
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Indian dating was orderly and the documentary Meet the Patels featured many successful couples that were happy after following the Indian dating culture. For Ravi’s parents, they had exactly 10 minutes of talking before it was decided that they were going to be married and have a future together. It’s mind blowing that it worked that well for them, but I believe that in America and in today’s pop culture - Ten minutes with a person won’t cut it. There are too many secrets and too much about a person that’s left to
Meeting the Patels is a 2014 romantic, comedy documentary directed by Geeta V. Patel. The film depicts the journey of Ravi V. Patel on the search for an adequate Indian wife that meets the criteria of his family, and who he can also feel a personal connection with. In the film the depiction of two countries: United States and India played a role on Ravi’s decision on finding a wife, and how each country portrays the role of marriage and the laws surrounding it.
Deloria, with his analytical survey, Indians in Unexpected Places, recounts the synthesis of western white expectations, and American Indians. The book takes its title from the general thesis, which explores not only the relationship between Indians and their introduction into an alien culture, but also the expectations that we have of Indians and how they “should” interact with our white western culture. According to Deloria, the common notion is that, “Indian people, corralled on isolated and impoverished reservations, missed out on modernity- indeed, almost missed out of history itself.” (Deloria p. 6) This falsified expectation that we have of the Native American peoples causes us to balk at the anomalies of an Indian when combined with Western culture.
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
Dating is definitely an "American phenomenon." Few other countries carry on this practice with as much fervor as Americans do. Then again, few other countries have the same social conditions as America. Since the turn of the century, there has been a greater freedom between men and women, for example, both attend the same schools with the same classes. Both sexes become accustomed to the other at early ages which is very conducive to the practice of dating (Merrill 61).
“I’m never going to act like my mother!” These words are increasingly common and yet unavoidable. Why is it that as children, we are able to point out every flaw in our parents, but as we grow up, we recognize that we are repeating the same mistakes we observed? The answer is generational curses: un-cleansed iniquities that increase in strength from one generation to the next, affecting the members of that family and all who come into relationship with that family (Hickey 13). Marilyn Hickey, a Christian author, explains how this biblically rooted cycle is never ending when she says, “Each generation adds to the overall iniquity, further weakening the resistance of the next generation to sin” (21, 22). In other words, if your parents mess up you are now susceptible to making the same mistakes, and are most likely going to pass those mistakes to your children. In The Absolute True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Sherman Alexie shows the beauty of hope in the presence of a generational curse. Even though the elders are the ones who produce the curses, they are also the ones who attempt to break Junior from their bond forming mistakes. The curses that Arnold’s elders imprint on him lead him to break out of his cultural bonds and improve himself as a developing young man.
Jhumpa Lahiri, the author of the story, “The Third and Final Continent,” grew up being aware of conflicting expectations from two different countries. As Jhumpa mentioned, “I was expected to be Indian by Indians and Americans by Americans (Lahiri, pg 50).” The Third and Final Continent leaves the reader with a positive notion of the immigrant experience in America. The narrator recalls his school days in London, rooming with other foreign Bengalis, and trying to settle in this new world. He talks about how when he was 36 years old when his own marriage was arranged and he first flew to Calcutta, to attend his wedding. This statement is unique because it depicts the differences between an American culture and an Indian culture. At the time of marriage he is 36 years old and he didn’t pick who he wanted to get married to. Marriage in India is something that most parents set compared to other countries where they can marry someone of choice. Indians settle down by an arranged marriage ma...
Over the ages our society has changed the definition of the meaning of dating. During the early 20th century and WWII dating was about long-term friendships, love, marriage and families. The essay “ Dating as Competition” by Beth Bailey illustrates how dating over time has changed dramatically by making dating into a competition. He argues that dating now in days is about popularity, competition and no longer has a moral meaning and how Men and women tend to want to be seen with people who will boost their image. In society many people build their reputation and popularity through cars, clothes, frat and sorority memberships and money. Being seen with someone who is just as popular with the same materialistic things will only increase your popularity. Through my experiences and observations I agree dating has changed and no longer has meaning because people date each other for the wrong reasons. I have witnessed many of my own friends who date to boost their appearance. Many actors and actresses that I look up to also marry or date other famous people so that they can show to the social media that their life is nothing but perfect. Not only are they rich and famous but they also want to marry or date someone who is idolized by many just as they are. Which also increases their personal image. Also Internet social websites are now being designed to find people mates who will match their popularity. Therefore dating has changed and no longer has the same meaning as it did before in the early ages.
Sociology professor Morrie Schwartz once said, "Rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble…” (Albom 149). Although not stated as clearly or concisely, the vast majority of Jhumpa Lahiri’s stories retell the truths told above. Three stories in particular; "A Temporary Matter," "When Mr. Pirzada Comes to Dine," and "The Third and Final Continent," especially exemplify the quote above. Throughout these stories Jhumpa Lahiri writes of the struggles Indians have building new relationships while trying to assimilate to American culture; Lahiri illustrates that in order to strengthen any relationship, one must display compassion, respect, and honesty.
It is leading us on a voyage where motifs are intertwined with each theme in the clip, it opens our eyes to the comparable dramas we can also face. Although there is hardly a lightness tinged upon the storyline when haunting family secrets, flowering romances and culture clashes are un-vieled. Monsoon Wedding is focused around the preparations for a pending marriage arrangement of the youngest daughter in the Verma's family, Aditi. Throughout this particular foreign film though there was but a feast of exploitation that strives to a hitting truth, this appeared not only through the usage of symbolism but clashing cultural differences and the religions that are challenged through all societies. The 'other' are not so dissimilar to us.
The film depicts the mesmerizing life of Ravi Patel, a middle-aged Indian man, who sets out to discover a long lasting relationship with a woman of Indian descent, particularly one with the commonly stereotyped last name “Patel”, as per his parent’s instructions. Throughout the course of the film, the audience is directed through the journey of Ravi and his sister Geeta, alongside his parents, Champa and Vasant, with a series of montages and voice-over narrations that illustrate unique Indian customs that play a vital role in the causation of the complex relationship between Ravi and his former girlfriend, Audrey. Audrey, a female of white descent is discreetly involved in a relationship with Ravi, something his parents hesitate to acknowledge. As Ravi’s parents solely approve and accept the marriage of their son with a woman of Indian origin, he is conflicted throughout his journey of discovery and is unwilling to inform his parents regarding his prior relationship with a white
Hess, Linda. Rejecting Sita: Indian Responses to the Ideal Man's Cruel Treatment of His Ideal Wife. Vol. 67. New York: Oxford UP, 1999. Print.
In the article Arranging a Marriage in India, Serena Nanda, a professor of Anthropology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, writes about what she learned about arranged marriages in India from interviewing informants and participating in arranging a marriage herself. Nanda brought in some American biases about how marriage and love are “supposed” to work. She initially had trouble accepting why someone would want or let another arrange their marriage instead of seeking a partner themselves. Nanda’s difficulty understanding arranged marriages, is a result of having grown up in a culture that leaves such decisions to the individual. Furthermore, if the quotes given in the article are an indication, Nanda let her biases influence her conduct
Aside from the science behind love, a relationship cannot subsist upon affection alone. While a sense of endearment is helpful, it is not the most important part of a successful relationship. A couple must learn to communicate effectively in order to move forward in their relationship, a couple must also have a personal compatibility and be able to complement each other well. A couple must also be flexible with each other and be able to resolve conflict well, in order to have a workable relationship. Unfortunately, very few couples realize the amount of effort that must be put into a relationship and enter into things blindly. Many could argue that this is why, on average, a marriage in the US only lasts about 8.8 years and American marriages have a divorce rate of over 40 percent.
Simply defined, courtship is a reformed version of dating under the supervision of parents between a man and a woman who are ready to marry in the near future. In consumer terms, contemporary dating is the equivalent to window-shopping and courtship is shopping w/ cash in hand under the direction of experienced buyers. The te...
Almost every culture around the world have the idea of bringing together households in marriage. In the United States, this a coupling of two people who will start a life on their own. In India, a marriage is more than two people falling and love and getting married. Family, religion and casts play a role for the future bride and groom. The Indian culture’s weddings have different traditions when it comes to proposals, ring traditions and ceremonies not only for the couple but for the families as well.