Love And Jealousy Analysis

As society continues fabricate ideologies of how and what behaviors are necessary for sustaining a successful trajectory of a relationship, certain conducts such as jealousy and envy are culturally viewed as wrong. Considered to exemplify selfishness and threaten a relationship, jealousy and envy are cultured to be labeled as failures or abnormalities within relationships. Social constructions such as fidelity were established to stress jealousy as a negative. The value culture places in monogamy affects the conceptualization of jealousy. Today, people marry for love and consequently expressions of jealousy exist. This is where the irony comes into play. Love and jealousy are inherent. While love is widely sought and idealized, as Cupach and

Spitzberg suggest jealousy is considered “to be inevitable if you truly love someone” (pp.16). Simply, jealousy is intentionally induced to enhance love, it is a sensation and experience felt in any relationship. Desiring to possess another and the angst felt when a perceive threat to a relationship is a normal reaction to the potential defiance of love. Jealousy is actively happening in reaction to various sources, whether that is individual characteristic traits, where both parties bring forth different needs to the table and cannot correspond or based upon a situational state, where the context evokes jealousy. Regardless, most situations, there experience of jealousy is generally viewed as a problematic, even if it is considered an inevitable facet of love. Those who exhibit are presumed to be insecure, possessive, and practicing negative relational maintenance, yet jealousy is demonstrator of love due to their intertwining link. Jealousy correlates with the amount of affection produced in a relationship, thus a representation of love. Therefore, jealousy is not the perception perceived, thus revealing once again how a dark side issue may not be what it seems.
Jealousy implicates the possibilities of relational transgressions including infidelity, deception, betrayal all of which are associated with conflict, violence, relational dissatisfaction and divorce.

Furthermore, relational transgressions are generalized to be hurtful happenings within a relationship, whether it is consequential of behaviors violating normal, regulations of a relationship or behaviors causing infidelity. According to Sandra Metts and William Cupach relational transgressions can be summed up to encapsulate inappropriate reactions, lack of sensitivity, extra relational involvement, relational threat found by deception, disregard for primary relationship, abrupt termination, broken promises, deception and abuse (pp. 246). These aversive behaviors are deemed to devalue relationships, thus causing hurt as a product of transgressions. Infidelity is perceived to the be the most wounding type of betrayal. However, this particular rule violation is a hybrid of why and what a partner is thinking and what they think their partner wants them to hear. In regards to cheating, partners will deny, excuse or justify their accounts for infidelity as means of sparing their partner’s feeling. The reasoning provide for the action may not be true, but a method used to be more palatable to the victim. Furthermore, motivations for infidelity may not be what they seem. Yet feeling the need to spare a partner’s feelings from the act of infidelity stems from society’s construction cheating equates to the highest degree of betrayal. Once again society has developed the notion infidelity is evolutionary in that betrayal just happens. People, though, are not hardwired to cheat, they exercise agency, where they have control over the decision they are make and actions they perform. Nevertheless, people have disillusioned themselves into believing they will never cheat, in regards to society’s construction that infidelity leads to relational termination, thus individuals go into

relationships with the thought of monogamy. Yet “several studies have found that small but meaningful percentages of relationships having experienced infidelity are either relatively unaffected or even highly satisfied” (Cupach and Spitzberg, 16). The perception relational transgressions determine the ending of relationship is not necessarily accurate. However, likelihood of infidelity is common, but addressing the fact cheating may occur within a relationship goes against society’s norm. The consequence of cheating is hurt, that is inevitable, but putting the problem out on the table, where responsibility is taken can help mend relationships and lead toward positive relational maintenance. Knowing the occurrence of transgressions is half the battle in order to move on in healthy commutative manner.