Jeff Marx's Relationship With My Da My Father

Jeff Marx’s relationship with her father was one that was superficial. Their relationship was very cut and dry they never managed to get beneath the surface. Jeff calls his father a stoic that rarely showed emotion of any kind. He goes on to say that he couldn’t imagine his dad crying after being cut from a team or celebrating with “reckless abandonment” over any event. If that doesn’t provide an image of his father he also tells us that his father could not express his feeling and emotions into words.

This relationship with his father forced Jeff to look up to other men in order to find that male role model he was looking for. He even goes on to explain that the colt football players that he looked up to and hung out around felt like supplementary fathers. From this he learned that it was okay to feel and express his feelings. These same men showed him how to express his feelings in a way that his father never showed him how. This is one of the effects of his father being absent from his life, no not physically but from the emotional detachment.

My dad and I have a relationship very similar to his one. One of the reasons is because my grandpa was abusive toward my dad both physically and emotionally. So from this my dad was not sure how to have a father/son relationship. My

dad has surely done better than his father and unlike Jeff’s father he shows his emotions. But our relationship since I have been in college has been one that is very superficial that is mainly sports and family. Other than that we don’t have a lot in common.
My dad is physically here and in a way emotionally here but due to his childhood and not being able to experience that for himself.

One thing that for the longest time consumed my dad’s life was being pastor. Now to the ordinary person this task might not seem too large but once you are a “pastors kid” you get to see all the ins and outs of church. It’s a lot like working at a restaurant you get to see the things no one else does. Once my dad stopped being a pastor he has kind of given up on people and stopped working for a bit. This was right about the same time I began working which worked out good because I was able to pay for a lot of my own bills and even help out when it was

needed.
I earned my dad’s respect working as soon as I could and he eventually got a new job. During that time he had asked God why some of the things that happened to him like most people do. For that time his attitude on life was different and the effects of what some people at the church, which many consider their “closest friends” did to him. This for a long time caused my dad to feel not good enough after being let go and the long pause presented the same pause in our relationship.
Fast-forward to today and things are better not exactly where either one of us would like the to be. From this experience I have learned things that I like that my dad does that I want to carry on when I am a father like putting family first, working hard, staying positive and showing your emotions. Then some things which I don’t like and hope that I one day as a father can avoid like displaying intense anger, taking on too much and being consumed by other worldly things that are not that important.