I Love Monologue

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Two months have passed since the day you left me. Like a child waiting impatiently for Christmas morning to arrive, I awake each morning hoping to receive something or anything from you, only to be disappointed. I'll never forget your cold firm grip on my hand the day you dropped me at my family's house or my mothers face that whitened as you left. She screamed at me and I fizzed in the fire. I was slowing fading into oblivion as life was slowly being sucked out of her. Your existence grew more and more in my heart by each blow I received and I realized then that heartache and love go by the same name. I tried to hold in my tears, knowing full well that I am to blame. Fall they did anyway. Mother taught me how to please men and I'm certain …show more content…

But I am not writing this letter to defend myself any less than you leaving me. I heard talks of how you're suffering from acute alcohol poisoning and I felt a clenching pain in my chest, but it also gave me solace in my darkness as I felt the taste of a sweet victory. It had me laying in bed at night thinking and I felt unapologetically happy to know that I had driven you to madness. I dream of you more often than I care to admit. Your handsome features which shame even the angels and your long limbs that I never got to feel properly. Your voice echoes in my head like a siren song, and each time I hear it my body vibrates uncontrollably. I loved the way the sunlight shone on your long, pale eyelashes that made them look like butterflies fluttering each time you blinked. God knows you're the most beautiful one. Each night I battle with myself as I draw on my wrists. I promise to seek help next time my body starts vibrating, but I am fighting a losing battle as I wait patiently for my brothers who are still locked up in darkness. Tonight, I shall draw a new red ribbon for the innocent man who never got to plead his …show more content…

The type that is not romantic enough to pluck flower petals while daydreaming, still, as I write this letter with my back propped against my bedroom wall, I cannot help but feel that you should be here too. I dream of the day our paths will intersect once again in this town which has pieces of me left all over it. I'm just a memory of the girl who hid behind her lies and deceit. I'm a conflicted contradiction but ending up alone in this emotional abyss was never the aim. This is like a never-ending cycle where I always end up alone and I know you won't answer my letter, but I don't want dwell on this tragedy for too long. You should have predicted this shallow ending to our shallow marriage and I can't be the only one carrying this boulder burden on my shoulders forever. I can feel this sadness creeping up on me again as I go back to the deepest sleep and wonder in my final moments if you'll even bother to read this letter. I'm still young and I should be reaching skywards but my obsession with you rendered it all pointless and now I have less to say. I want you to know that I'm still waiting for a divergent tomorrow and if you can't do justice with me then at least do so with this small

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