Humorous Wedding Speech – The Groom’s Odd Behavior this Evening
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Ron and I am the best man. Now, you may have heard said that being a best man is like being asked to lead the troops into battle - it's a great honour, but nobody really wants to do it. Well, I only agreed on the condition that it wouldn’t interfere too greatly with my own enjoyment of the wedding day, in particular the free food and drink. But as it happens, I’ve not been able to eat a thing all day - I’ve more than made up for it on the drink front though.
Apparently, my main duty is to give you all an introduction to the groom. This part of the best man’s speech is usually just an excuse to demolish the groom’s good character. Now I’ve thought about this and don’t see any reason to break with tradition. But it’s actually not that easy because Larry is a nice fellow; he obeys all local ordinances, he pays his taxes and he keeps the city tidy - so there is not much I can embarrass him with.
However, he does have a few quirks! And if you know Larry well you will already be familiar with them. But for those of you on Pamela's side who are just getting to know him - be on the look out for the following ‘odd’ behavior this evening:
1. Jumping on people’s feet – of course, Larry calls it dancing and if it is, he’s perfected the non-rhythm method. The head looks one way; the body another and the feet kick out. I can only liken it to a bad version of ‘Riverdance’.
2. Frowning during photographs – although I must admit he did raise a smile when his picture was taken outside the church this morning. Probably because this is the first wedding he’d been to where he could walk out without putting any money on the plate.
3. Sniffing wine - if you are in his company when he starts doing this be prepared for a discussion on the body, roundness, and smoothness of his tipple. When he starts saying things like ‘multi-layered’ finish’ and lingering complexity, it’s time to make your get away.
4. Vanishing into thin air - there could be three reasons for this. He’s snuck off to watch his beloved team’s first home game of the season.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Josh and following the time-honored tradition, I will now do my best to give Roy the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Joyce's life will be later on this evening, courtesy of Roy.
Before getting into things, I must say what a truly wonderful wedding it's been so far. Pretty church, glamorous cars, glorious flowers, magnificent food, a beautiful bride and an average groom. Naturally, Nick didn’t want any of this expense though. Being an accountant, his original idea for the dinner today was to pick up several family buckets from Kentucky Fried Chicken. He also suggested to Shimona that they have the ceremony at the PB garage to save on a camera man.
“Freedom is the most expensive thing that you own, even if you did not pay for it yourself”, Unknown. The military has been one of the most helpful things in the community. The military protects the United States and other countries from threats as well as protecting the people in the countries. Some people think that the military gets paid enough. Why some people think this, the majority of people say that the military is underpaid and that the pay should be raised.
Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion.
...tion very important traits that one must obtain in order to uphold a heroic reputation. While the movie shows the more caring and compassionate side of a hero, the book presents a more intimidating and hostile side of one. Both the book and the movie relate to Anglo-Saxon culture today. They reveal the two sides a hero must have, according to society's standards. The film and novel support the idea that a hero is judged based on certain traits he or she has. One could only be a hero if that person met society's standards of a true hero. If Beowulf did not have the heroic characteristics that were mentioned in the book and movie, he may have not even been considered a hero.
I have a large library of stories to tell you that will leave the groom embarrassed and humiliated, but out of respect for him on his big day I have decided not to tell them. So I'm not going to tell you about the time he vomited over a taxi driver's head or ended up in hospital on his stag do.
Now I was a bit unsure about the duties of a best man, although I told Brian very early on that there was no way I was going to get off with a bridesmaid – I say that with no offence intended to Claire and Nicola who I’m sure you’ll all agree look lovely, and have done a great job today. So to find out what was expected of me, I turned to the internet and managed to find some really interesting stuff… but then remembered what I had gone onto it for in the first place, and set about plagiarising other people’s speeches from all the wedding sites I could find. So I accept no responsibility if this end result is rubbish. I know many of you will have been to a few weddings in your time, so can I suggest that you entertain yourselves quietly by playing wedding bingo – every time you hear a witty comment in my speech that you have already heard at another wedding, give yourself a point and the first one to five wins a piece of wedding cake.
It is customary for the best man to retell an embarrassing tale or two from the bridegroom’s past. As Gary’s oldest friend, this part of the speech fell to me. However, I had two problems with this. Firstly, Gary originally insisted on vetting the speech, which would have meant me going to the trouble of preparing two speeches. Luckily, he relented. Secondly, Gary is the original Mr. Nice Guy and it's very difficult to think of anything bad to say about him. So, back to you Steve!
As is customary I should leave the groom with wise words, to help in your marriage. Since I am a bachelor, I have little experience to speak from, but I hope these help anyway:
(1) Get the Groom to the Church sober and on time - well ladies and gentlemen I think you could all agree I have completed by first duty splendidly.
The young man is confronted with numerous predicaments in the story. He attempts to handle them himself and not with the help of his bride, the bride’s parents, Piet and the black people who are involved. The predicament that his bride-to-be will stay in his caravan in the hot Kalahari alone with the other black people when his gone and the mutual understanding between the young man and Piet when she will be living with the young man, how will he handle Piet? One would find that there is a clear divide between the young man and the black people that reside with him on the camp. He would merely see them as assets to him, than actual people that are employed by the government to help him with his work. This contrast between him and the black people play a major role in the predicaments the young man finds himself.
...et companies more focus on the implementation of subcultures in an organization than the proper core values and the normative of the corporation.
...datory military service can provide a way for people achieve a greater life. With the military young adult in need of a better environment would become improved in what ever those people were going to do in life. This will give people job opportunities and more dedication to life. A mandatory military service for all people between the ages of 18 and 24 would only bring good to society.
Stewart successfully maintained the reader’s interest to the matter by using an immense method for ridiculing strange traditions or reactions or by the aid of thriving language devices no to mention in compare to the Western culture. As for his comedic tone and great sense of humour, Stewart described every incident in full-detailed ironic manner. First he gave a light hearted comment how the old Russian truck carrying hordes of wedding guests was the equivalent of the wedding Rolls Ricer back in his hometown. Then he ridiculed the idea behind letting the groom pretend he is searching for his bride when her hiding place is previously distinguished! He clearly expressed the extent of the uninviting and unappetising state the breakfast meal was; “slabs of white cheese”, “boiled sweets were arrayed in dizzy layers” and “a mountainous plate of sheep parts”.
Woodham, Martha A. and Cummings,Walter. “The bride did what?! : Etiquette for the wedding Impaired.” Atlanta: Longstreet Press Inc., 1995.Print.