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Psychology of lying
The causes and effects of telling lies
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Lies hurt. Lying is a major problem in society and causes many unnecessary consequences. This must change immediately before more situations are created. Anyone who knows me well can tell you definitely that Lauren McAtee hates a lie. It is the biggest cause of fights and issues in my life. I try extremely hard daily not to lie and to always be honest will people and with what's going on. I have seen too many relationships ruined by lies, specifically many in my aunt’s life and I have a passion to fix this issue and fix it quickly. Lying is easy to do at first and many of us do it without even intending to. What happens often is that people start with a small white lie and think nothing of it. That one small white lie leads to many many more lies that spiral completely out of control. This is where lying becomes a problem. Continual lying like this causes stress and loss of trust, because in the end, the lie will be revealed. First, lying causes pain. Not only mentally but also physically. In the article, How Lying Affects Your Health, Angela Haupt says, "Listen up, …show more content…
In the article, Lying is Good For You, Lacey Rose says, "We lie to avoid awkwardness or punishment. We lie to maintain relationships and please others. And, of course, most of all we lie to please ourselves." These are all reasons lying is acceptable. Anyone can better maintain a relationship based on the fact that they compliment each other where compliments aren't due or that the person didn't eat the last cookie to protect from getting in trouble but they really did eat the cookie. A great way to effectively lie is to take the blame for someone you know someone else did. That can help your relationship with that person by creating a sense of trust and appreciation. Lying about things that may please the other person in your relationship will cause a stronger relationship and protect the feelings of
Richard Gunderman asks the question, "Isn 't there something inherently wrong with lying, and “in his article” Is Lying Bad for Us?" Similarly, Stephanie Ericsson states, "Sure I lie, but it doesn 't hurt anything. Or does it?" in her essay, "The Ways We Lie.” Both Gunderman and Ericsson hold strong opinions in regards to lying and they appeal to their audience by incorporating personal experiences as well as references to answer the questions that so many long to confirm.
Of all of the things humans do lying has to be one of the most common. There are many different forms of lying, though the worst, is perhaps, dismissal. Dismissal is used in many situations, but one that comes to mind is abusive relationships. According to Stephanie Ericsson in her essay, “The Ways We Lie”, “ it dismisses feelings, perceptions, or even the raw facts of a situation rank as a kind of lie that can do as much damage to a person as any other kind of lie” (477-28). If it can cause that much damage it must certainly be a very harsh kind of lying.
According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, lying means to tell an account of an untrue event or give false information.
Stephanie Ericsson’s The Ways We Lie, analyzes and reflects on how lying has simply become the norm in our society. We all lie, there is not one person in the world that does not lie. Most people lie because they are afraid of telling the truth, however what they do not know is telling a lie can lead them in the wrong direction because many things can happen when lying to a person. The person can find out when everything unravels that person will not have trust in you and you would be known as a liar. To every action there is a consequence, so why not deal with just one consequence when telling the
There are always consequences for lying, whether it happens immediate or nebulous, a punishment will occur. Some lies cause other people to hurt that have nothing to do with the situation but still get punished. For example, someone stealing an answer key to an important test in class will make the class suffer by taking a much harder test. Another example is a basketball team having to run for a teammate’s lies. Arthur Miller’s play, The Crucible is based on the Salem Witch Trials of 1692, and it proves this exact point.
We lie all the time, lying is not something new to our culture. We lie to our parents, we lie to our friends, we even lie to our significant other, but why do we do it? There is not one set reason on why we lie but they can vary from an insignificant reason to something more nefarious. A good operational definition of a lie is “A lie is a false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth, intentionally.” (Freitas-Magalhães) We have been raised to know that lying is usually a bad thing, and it’s better to tell the truth, not to mention the circumstances get exponentially worse if you are caught lying. No one wants to be labeled as a liar, or untrustworthy. This may sound unorthodox but I personally think lying is perfectly fine; depending on the situation. If you have a prima-facie duty to be dishonest it’s perfectly acceptable. Ross says a prima facie duty or obligation is an actual duty. “One’s actual duty is what one ought to do all things considered.” (Carson) I’m not the only one who finds this too be true. Ross would also agree with me, He says “Lying is permissible or obligatory when the duty not to lie conflicts with a more important or equal important prima facie duty.” (Carson) As I was doing research on this topic I did read one extremely compelling argument on why we ought not to lie. Aristotle basically said a person who makes a defense for lying could never be trusted. (King.)
Ever told a lie that protected yourself but maybe hurt others? You probably told a selfish deception lie. An example of this could be when you call in sick to work when you actually just are too tired, lazy or have other plans. This forces all of your co workers to work extra hard to make up for you not being present.
Liars have rumors spread around about how they lie all the time. Nobody wants to talk to them because they won't know if they are lying to them or not. They aren't trusted as much as people who don't lie. Liars never get very far in life and always have a reputation of lying. It's much better to tell the truth and have friends who trust them, rather than lying and having rumors spread around making no one like them.
According to Glass (2013), lying can be major piece of human relationship. In some cases, it permits us to blend in and survive in association with people in the world (p.19). Glass (2013) mentioned that there are seven reasons why a person lie. First of all, people lie to avoid hurting other’s feelings. In Dawson (2006) example, “Julie may have just saved her friendship by telling a lie” (p.43). Julie lied to Pat about her ugly dress just to avoid offending her. Secondly, people will lie for ulterior motives. For instance, one will lie to keep his/her job, or one will make a sale to get the client impressed and want to buy from him/her. Third, people will lie for self-protection. For example, when a person is a witness of a crime, he would lie, not to protect the criminal, but rather to not be considered as a snitch. And nowadays, being a snitch or being on the side of the law means risk to you and to your loved ones. Fourth reason is lying to present a positive image of himself and avoid rejection. Most of the single people who are searching for a mate go on a dating site. However, in this site, not all information are valid. People tend to lie about their weight, their height, their job, and their age just to present a better picture of themselves to someone else. In a few words, they are making an effort not to be rejected from first look. The fifth reason to lie is to avoid any
Can you remember the last time someone lied to you? Or how about the last time you lied to someone else? Did you ever stop and ask yourself why? There are so many different reasons that a person might lie. Maybe a lie about something to keep oneself out of trouble, or even a lie to impress other people. But either way there are always going to be serious consequences or effects of lying.
I once believed that lying was the only way out of hurting another person but after lying on many occasions not to get caught got me nowhere. I would lie on numerous times to my boyfriend that when the relationship got serious and committed he couldn’t help but throw my past lies in my face, especially during an argument. So after 2 years I have learned to always be honest regardless of the outcome. And so far it has worked to my favor.
In certain circumstances and situations, I truly believe it is ok to lie. Initially, it is extremely beneficial to lie, rather than hurt the feelings of a loved one. Equally important, if you are trying to protect someone from getting impaired, it is okay to lie in order to keep them safe. Last but not least, exaggerations can help boost people’s self-esteem by making them exceptional. William Blake once said “A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.” I urge you to question if honesty is really the best route, or is it okay to lie sometimes.
Some lie to create a false fantasy or a false self-esteem to escape tragedies or horrors in their life (Dr.Phil).Also, this research will tackle the difference between compulsive lying and the normal “white lies” people use every day. First, many people get exposed to criticism every day. Naturally,
The development of lying is directly tied to the Theory of Mind. When you begin to understand that what you know about the world might be different from what another person knows, then you have gained the ability to lie. This usually happens at three years old.
Next I will give examples for why lying isn’t always bad. And lastly I will tell you how we can solve or at least improve this problem. We all were taught that lying is morally wrong, most at a young age, but almost everyone lies on a regular basis, if not multiple times a day, this is probably because lying is just part of human nature, we also believe that lying doesn’t cause you problems unless you are caught, but it can cause other people problems, and that is why all lying has been generalized into the ‘morally wrong’ category. (BBC)