Domestic violence (DV) affects men and women everywhere, yet we only hear about the women’s cases. There is sexism when it comes to domestic violence cases; the women are treated as a priority, whereas men have almost no choice but to keep quiet. Plagued by the ideas and stereotypes of society, they are trapped in a world of hurt in fear of being emasculated, meaning them feeling like less of a man; yet even when they do come forward, the way we react and treat them is humiliating and never what we give to women. There is a certain stereotype and standard that we have for men, especially when it comes to defining “masculinity”, especially in today’s society. “ Masculine behavior is often described as strong, infallible, emotionally unflappable, …show more content…
fearless and aggressive” (Menendez, Wagner, Yates, & Walcott 2012, p.2, para. 7). When a man is unable to protect himself or others, we often take that as a sign of weakness and emasculate them, despite the circumstances. They carry these ideas with them into relationships which can affect their decisions. “Making it difficult for them to act outside gender norms while maintaining a sense of masculine identity” (Menendez, Wagner, Yates, & Walcott 2012, p.2, para. 7). When a man cannot defend himself or protect himself against the abuse, he feels effeminate because it does not fit our idea of what makes a man. These ideals make it easy for us to ignore the victims and justify the women’s actions. What happens when a man tries to reach out for help? “She stabbed me with a knife, and I didn’t even defend myself, and after I got out of the hospital two weeks later, the court tells me to go to a group they say is for victims. It turns out to be for batterers and I am expected to admit to being an abuser and talk about what I did to deserve getting stabbed” (Across Walls Staff, 2014, para. 9). This is a testament from an actual victim, who was stabbed by his significant other. He was then later sent to a group and expected to admit to a lie because “women don’t commit domestic violence” (Across Walls Staff, 2014, para. 6). We blame the men for their abuse because we believe that they’re the more aggressive sex. “Convicted female offenders often attribute their behavior to self-defense, leading many to conclude that these women are really victims rather than primary aggressors” (Across Walls Staff, 2014, para. 6). When women come out saying that it was self-defense, even when it’s not, it adds another layer of doubt as to who’s the victim when men decide to come forward. Men also may not know the resources available to them, should they decide they report it, because there is not much public coverage that reveals resources for them.
“In 1986 Straus and Gelles (in George, 1994, pp. 137–159) state, ‘Violence by wives has not been an object of public concern. There has been no publicity, and no funds have been invested in ameliorating this problem because it has not been defined as a problem” (Barkhuizen & Merlyn, p. 4, para. 3). It isn’t an important issue according to the public. This same study describes how when men claim to be the victim, they’re more likely arrested. “The authors state, ‘If a man is attacked by his wife and decides to call the police, he is the one who is likely to be arrested’” (Barkhuizen & Merlyn 2015, p. 5, para. …show more content…
3). When a man does decide to come forward, who does he turn to?
“The majority of the male victims reported feeling they could not talk about the DV to the police, and those who did report the abuse reported not being taken seriously or were accused themselves” (Drijber, Reijnders. & Ceelen, pg. 4,para. 1). Men cannot turn to the police, because they are not taken seriously or accused themselves. The agencies available are designed specifically for women, but have been adapting. “ “Despite a persistent stigma among male victims of domestic violence, about three percent of DAP’s (Domestic Abuse Project) clients are men” (Sullivan, 2013, para.31). This quote is from an interview with an agency that’s been helping victims for 35 years; however, men have only been recently added to their care. Unfortunately, not all agencies have not recognized that men can be victims too. “They {domestic violence agency} asked how much I weighed and how much she weighed and hung up on me … I was told by this agency I was full of BS. {a domestic violence agency} told me that women don’t commit domestic violence — it must have been my fault” (Across Walls Staff, 2014, para. 6). Repeatedly, victims are blamed for their own abuse and relentlessly questioned until the victim is convinced that they are to
blame. Domestic violence exists in all types of relationships, with all types of people. We’ve become experts at helping women through and out, but what about men? Without resources and the kind of support women have, they are bound to a life of suffering and pain. This is an issue we can solve, but alas, stereotypes and emasculation hold us back. If you or someone you know is being abused go to, http://www.thehotline.org/2014/07/22/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/ for a safe place to get help.
The concept of masculinity is considered as the qualities and characteristics of a man, typical what is appropriate to a man. In this article, A Community Psychology of Men and Masculinity: Historical and Conceptual Review, The author Eric S. Mankowski and Kenneth I. Maton, analyze four main themes: "Men as gendered beings, the privilege and damage of being a masculine man, men as a privileged group, and men’s power and subjective powerlessness. The second and fourth themes are described as
They focused their attention on discovering the reasons for why men who abuse behave the way they do. The results indicated that it was mainly because of their male privilege. Ellen Pence speculated that “there are underlying beliefs about gender, as well as latent fears, that more broadly underlie one’s sense of who we are and how we behave. We see battering behavior as a logical outcome in a society that until recent years openly gave men entitlement to women’s servitude and authorized them to use violence in order to maintain their place of privilege…” (Gandolf, 2010, p 44). Therefore; through this awareness and understanding of the underlying source/sources for men’s behaviors, educational programs were set up to facilitate perpetrators in becoming self-aware, taking responsibility, and to changing their perspective on
Robert Jensen, a journalism professor at the University of Texas, describes in his essay, The High Cost of Manliness how society has seen men and what behavior is acceptable. Many people perceive men as, “naturally competitive and aggressive” (Jensen). Jensen show how men are not supposed to show any, “struggle for control, conquest and domination.” Instead, what needs to be seen, however, that is not always the case, no one is made the same way, everyone thinks and interprets information differently. Robert expresses how, “hard (it is) to live up to the demand that come with the dominant conception of masculinity.” Not all men need to be the textbook definition of masculine. Room for diversity is a must, it separates each person from the other.
As it is in the case of the majority of violent crimes, (Davies and Rogers, 2006) perpetrators of violent crimes, and especially sexual assault related crimes exert additional force by threatening the victim or their families. Male victims also must contend with an additional sense of shame and embarrassment in being identified with a crime that has been typically portrayed in the media as happening to women. This places men at a disadvantage in the reporting process, because their safety and the safety of others is compromised further if the crime is not reported. (Messerschmitt, 2009)
Like child abuse, it affects every American by impacting those we love the most. Awareness for domestic violence victims has evolved since the beginning of our country. In earlier times, it was a private matter, and took place “behind closed doors”. They helped them past their sufferings and place them back into mainstream culture. (Karmen, 2015) Claims one movement that assisted with the process is the Feminist Movement. This widespread movement took place during the 1970’s, and represented the “beaten women”. It helped them stand up for themselves during their distraught times. Domestic tranquility ensures women their safety at home under their husbands’ protection. The Feminist’s Movement questioned domestic tranquility and urged women to stand up for themselves (Karmen, 2015). They discovered the “silent crisis” that lived inside so many women at the time. The crisis was that the men they married gave into the times of “behind closed doors” and “look the other way”. Those times would stand no more, due to the feminist’s movement and widespread awareness. Laws and legislation have changed since the rediscovery of the victims of domestic violence. One example is restraining orders. Restraining orders set up a level of protection for the women from the male offenders. Another example of legislation is The Violence Against Women Act. Promulgated in 1994 the act mandates that all states enforce protective orders issued in a
Stark (2006) would suggest that thirty years of research has failed to produce a consensus as to what constitutes a case of domestic violence considering that 90% of women who report the abuse have no physical injuries. Methods of coercive control do not meet the criminological viewpoint rather, control extends to financial, emotional, and psychological aspects of subjugating the partner thus no physical violence occurs. If only violent means are reported, then the reported number of victims would perhaps change thus creating a more gender symmetrical pattern. Until operational definitions are defined throughout the disciplines with consistency then there will continue to be discrepancies and opposing views. However, integrative theories of feminist views are being explored which investigate the intersection of not only male dominance as a form of oppression but the use of race, class, national origin, age, sexual orientation, and disability and their impact on intimate partner violence as stated by McPhail and colleagues
Society allows and encourages husbands to assault, abuse, control, and discipline their wives. In many domestic violence homicides, whether a man or woman dies, there is a long history of the man’s abuse of the woman even if the woman is the one killing the man. Many still believe denial over accusations. Barry Goldstein, a domestic violence expert and author of The Quincy Solution: Stop Domestic Violence and Save $500 Billion said, “In the context of domestic violence, the term ‘first-time offenders’ is really misused and domestic violence is the most underreported crime, so by the time police and law enforcement hear about a man’s domestic violence crime, he’s probably committed domestic violence before.” Most sufferers of domestic violence are not one-time abusers. Hardy’s ex-girlfriend told police that he abused her before, but she was afraid to report it because he would have killed her. When sufferers get the chance to report crimes and the justice system goes easy on the abuser because it is a first offense and reinforces to the sufferer that reporting the abuse is definitely not worth it. The sufferer of course stays and continues to accept the abuse, and does not report it again, and the justice system thinks that they are doing a good job because the abuser not arrested
The central question as to what makes masculinity a complex ideology is explained through a means of a superhero. To better understand masculinity, it must be broken down into its origins. The main point the author emphasizes is that masculinity is something that is constructed and created, rooted from society's cultural beliefs. It is never static, in other word...
Drijber, B., Reijnders, U., & Ceelen, M. (2013). Male victims of domestic violence. Journal Of Family Violence, 28(2), 173--178.
National data gives us an indication of the severity of this issue. When 1 in 5-woman report being victims of severe physical violence (NISVS, 2010), we must ask ourselves if enough is being done to prevent this from occurring. From a historical point, there has always almost been a distinction from men on woman violence. Based on the disparity of cases reported, male inflicted violence on females is much higher and prevalent. When the perpetrators of DV, and IPV are predominately males, we can no longer dismissed this issue as a cultural, or
When this thinking is applied to the discussion about men, it helps us to understand where the ideas about a “natural” masculinity that is same for all men comes from. If “man” is the physical representation, “masculinity” is the essence that defines him. So for example, if “masculinity” is defined by the society as behaviour that is sexually and physically aggressive, dominant, confident and avoiding the show if emotions, men that do not conform to these qualities are arguably less manly.
Most people in society are one sided when it comes to domestic violence. Most people automatically think domestic violence as men abusing women. Most people believe domestic violence is associated with gender. For instance, some people associate men with violent, destructive, and belligerent behavior. While women are often seen as innocent, fragile, and vulnerable. For many years men were the ones showing violent behavior, so most people believe men are usually the aggressor. Many people believe men should never abuse a woman, and if he does he will charged and most likely serve jail time. Although, women are not viewed the same way. Over the years women have become just as aggressive and violent as men have been portrayed. Many women who are violent are given a pass if they abuse a man. More simply, their behavior is overlooked, because they are not seen as a threat to society, so they will most likely not be jailed or punished for their behavior. In addition, there are many resources to help women get out of domestic violence situations. For instance, there are hotlines they can call, shelters they can visit, and support
Violence against women is a very serious subject, but the aspects of violence against women have changed over the past few decades. Some of the forms of violence that occur to women are as follows: rape, and domestic violence, which includes intimate partner violence. “Domestic violence or intimate partner violence includes bodily harm, usually accompanied by verbal threats and harassments,emotional abuse or the destruction of property”(Burn 26). Statistics show that in the United States there are 4.8 million rapes, intimate partner violence, and physical assaults per year (Burn 26). My interviewee explained how,“ Back then women were socially taught to keep their mouths closed when it came to domestic violence against women from their partner”. This is an example of how domestic violence has changed from the 1950’s to present day. She herself learned that it was socially right for domestic violence to happen when she was growing up in her own home. Women knew that they could not say anything about domestic violence. Today in the United States, all women have to do is call the police and they will be there, most likely in the women's favor because they are suffering from ...
Domestic violence is not just a gender issue, males are victims too. In the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) statistics show that: • 8.2% of women and 4% of men were estimated to have experienced domestic violence in 2014-15 equivalent to an estimated 1.3 million female and 600,000 male
“One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States” (Stewart & Croudep, 1998-2012). Domestic violence can interfere with the husband-wife relationship because one spouse is always in constant fear of the other. This violence could vary from physical abuse to ps...