Divorce is something some kids have to go through with their parents and that was the case for me. As a young girl, that was something I had to go through and I must say that it was a tough time for me. I did not really know how to handle a divorce between my parents at such an young age. The way my parents chose to handle the situation was not appropriate when a child is involved but they did not know any better. That is what I keep telling myself, that they did not know any better because if parents had knowledge about how divorce effects a child, they would think twice before reacting to something.
Knowledge about how divorce can affect children is very important for parents to have. It is important to know how their actions may affect the kids life in the future. The relationships the child may have in the future can suffer from what they have experienced as a kid. There is a lot of damage that can be caused by two parents that do not realize that there is a problem with their relationship and that it only hurts the children involved. Some people may think that divorce leaves children with psychological scars and problems but I do not believe that to be true. It is not divorce itself that causes the child to react badly to it, it is how parents chose to handle the divorce.
…show more content…
These parents could be an awful mother and father toghether, but separately they could accomplish much more as parents and be more stabile for their children. During a divorce all a kid needs is loving parents who keep reminding them that they are loved, important and that this divorce has nothing to do with them and therefore they should not be involved in the situation by the
The article “Divorce and Its Effects on Children” by Kelvin L. Seifert and Robert J. Hoffnung states about the effects of the divorce under the children. The authors say “most parents who divorce must make major adjustments in their lives, and these adjustments often affect their children deeply.”(Kelvin, Robert, 1). Most of the adjustments are different by the children gender and sometimes the relationship between parents and their children deteriorate during and immediately after a divorce.
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
In America, about one in every two marriages will end in divorce. Around 60% of those divorcing couples have children. (Cherlin, 2012). Half of the marriages in America end in divorce, and more than half of those couples have children, which means that about every other divorce that is filed in America, a child is impacted. Between 850,000 and 950,000 divorces occur each year. (National Center for Health Statistics, CDC., 2014). Given that roughly 60% of those divorcing couples have at least one child, at least 510,000 children are affected a year. Estimates have been done to suggest that in the near future, 70% of divorces could involve children under the age of eighteen. (Block, Block, and Gjerde, 1986). Because of the large number of children in America having broken families, it is important to understand the effects of divorce on children’s' day to day lives so that they may be provided for in a proper and beneficial way.
For different reasons, many couples get a divorce, while having children involved. Many, who are getting a divorce, may think of getting a divorce as a positive way or the best way for the child to get out of the negative environment they were in, while their parents were together. Basically, assuming that if the parents are happy, the children will be happy. In reality, divorce is a serious decision to make and affects the child involved in the situation, negatively. Divorce is hard for any person to cope with, let alone a child to go through.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
A lot of children tend to develop “normally” with two married parents. Others don’t develop the same. To me, children who go through divorce don’t develop normally. My parents are no longer together and I thought I turned out okay. I have social skills, friends, and a close relationship with both my parents. On the other hand, I believe some children or teenagers have a difficult time developing when going through the process of a divorce. It could lead to trust issues, make the kids feel alone, change the perspective on marriage, and affect the way they communicate.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
The Negative Effect of Divorce on Children Divorce has a negative effect on the psychological and social aspects of our children, which may appear instantly or not come to the surface for years. This is why I think that divorce should only be a last resort and not rushed into, even by couples with the most troubled marriages. The only acceptable reason for someone rushing into divorce is if they or their children are in danger. I believe that marriage is a commitment not to be taken lightly and disregarded at the first bump in the road, especially when there are children involved. Far too many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions and choices; for example, people use abortion as birth control and couples’ jumping in and out of marriages like it’s a trial and error institution.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.