Holden Caulfield's Childhood

Tom Stoppard once said, “If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.” Childhood is hard to let go of and becoming a mature adult is also challenging. But dwelling in the past does not make growing up easier. In the novel, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Holden Caulfield, the main narrator of the book, has issues with childhood and adulthood. He shows these issues by telling readers his thoughts and memories from the past. He makes it clear throughout the book that he does not want change. Holden is stuck between entering the adult world and staying with being a child that he has been for so long.
Although Holden is 16, he still acts and thinks like a child. An example of this is when after Maurice, an angry pimp,

punches Holden for not handing over the money. Holden tells the readers, “About halfway to the bathroom, I sort of started pretending I had a bullet in my guts” (Salinger 103). This shows how Holden still acts like a kid because he is pretending which is something a child would do. He is imagining that he can solve the current issue with Maurice by thinking he is some hero from an action movie. He is also trying to make the situation worse than it really is. Holden probably had liked acting like a action movie hero when he was younger and he was not able to let go of it. In an earlier part of the book, Holden wonders where the ducks go in the lagoon in Central Park when it freezes and he thinks to himself saying, “I wondered if some guy came in a truck and took them away to a zoo or something” (13). Most grown up people know that ducks do not get taken away to a zoo because they know how to analyze things logically. Holden on the other hand during this moment is analyzing things like a kid and he is not thinking logically on where the ducks actually go. His childhood memories of the pond by his home force him to think like this and he might have always thought the ducks get taken away. The frozen pond symbolizes Holden’s fragile childhood and he wants to keep his childhood. Although he seems curious about it, he is still thinking like a child. Holden is close to coming to the adult world, but his childish thinking overcomes this.
Holden’s maturity for the real world has not fully developed yet and his childish decisions steer him away from becoming an adult.

An example is when Holden finishes talking to Old Spencer, his history teacher at Pencey Prep, he says to the readers, “I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life” (Salinger 16). This shows how Holden did not really care for what Old Spencer was saying to him because he said he was lying most of the time. He is not willing to take advice which would be to him and his future. Holden will never get anywhere with people if he lies about everything. He might think it is fun to lie, but it really shows how immature Holden really is. Also during this conversation with Old Spencer and him Holden shares, “Oh I feel some concern for my future… but not much, I guess” (14). This shows how Holden wants to avoid his future which he thinks is becoming an adult. He is not showing and interest in school because he has flunked out of many schools such as the most recent one Pencey Prep. He is not really prepared for the real world if he cannot get good education. He also does not want to go to college because he might feel like he would lose his childhood and adulthood would change everything for him. Education and school is a big part of one’s future and Holden shows that he is not ready for his. This is a childish act because Holden is implying that he does not want to grow up. Entering the adult world is somewhat far from Holden’s reach because of

his immaturity and is not prepared for the real world.
In the book, there are moments when Holden somewhat realizes he needs to grow up and that he is always growing up which is building some maturity, but it is not enough to become an adult.

Towards the end of the book, Holden took Phoebe, his favorite sister, to the carrousel except Holden did not ride with her. He says while she is riding, “All the kids kept trying to grab the gold ring, and so was Old Phoebe, and I was sort of afraid she’d fall off the goddam horse , but I didn’t say anything or do anything” (Salinger 211). This shows how Holden is maturing because Holden for one is protective and two, he does not want her to grow up. But Holden showed that he is somewhat letting go of it, and seeing that Phoebe is ready to grow up. This also helps Holden realize that since Phoebe is now growing up he might need to grow up also. He starts to let go of protecting innocence and childhood, but only a couple weeks later when he had returned home, he was put in an institute for mental care. This shows how Holden did not get better by this moment at the carrousel and he is still stuck between childhood and adulthood. Another moment is when Holden wants to find Phoebe and he describes the Museum of Natural History and he tells us, “Nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you” (121). Holden used to go to the museum a lot and it was a big part of his childhood. What Holden means when he says that one would be different is that one would get older and

one’s perspective would change because of it. Holden somewhat refused to into the museum because he knows that he had grown up and everything would be different. He did acknowledge that he is growing up, but not going in shows that he wants to avoid acknowledging it which is a childish way to handle things. Holden has grown a little by realizing he and others are growing up, but adulthood is still far from his reach.
Holden is trapped between adulthood and childhood and has struggles deciding which one is best for him. He isn’t the most mature person and his maturity for an adult is not developed. But Holden does show how he acknowledges growing up and it does somewhat help him let go of some things. One cannot grow up if they do not let go of the past. Holden faced many problems because of not letting go. Although childhood is easier and better, dwelling in it will not lead anyone to the future adult one is meant to be in life.