Grace Dong-Mei-Anne Moss Quotes

“People tell you the world looks a certain way. Parents tell you how to think. Schools tell you how to think. TV. Religion. And then at a certain point, if you're lucky, you realize you can make up your own mind. Nobody sets the rules but you. You can design your own life”. -- Carrie-Anne Moss.
Carrie-Anne Moss is a famous Canadian actress, she is a famous public figure and her words have a certain impact on society. This quote illustrates how people can be easily affected by the media and people around them showing that most people are not confident enough to make up their own mind and mindlessly allow these other institutions to do the thinking for them. This common action is caused by a psychological fear as some people are afraid that their way of thinking or the way they live their lives will not be valued by their society. In the novel Throwaway

Daughter, written by Ting-Xing Ye, a character named Grace Dong-Mei Parker is a representative of those who are easily influenced by others as she does not think for herself. The way Grace Dong-Mei act, think, and speak was deeply influenced by the people around her illustrating that most people are not confident about themselves so they would unconsciously follow other people’s way of thinking.
In the novel, Grace Dong-Mei’s actions are deeply affected by her foster mother, Jane Parker. Being polite, brave, and learning to accept are the lessons taught by her mother; the way Grace Dong-Mei act is almost like a reflection of Jane Parker showing Grace Dong-Mei’s lack of confidence and dubiety towards herself and finally contribute to the action of mimicking Jane Parker. While Frank is trying to activate the conversation with the Parkers family, Grace Dong-Mei’s reaction is very significant: “Oh?” I answered, uninterested in anything he had to say. Then I remembered my mother’s repeated commands to be polite to Flank. “It’s neat,” I quickly added” (Ye 9). The use of verb ‘repeated’ suggest that Jane Parker is very attach to the importance of child education that she would keep emphasizing to Grace to be polite. Jane Parker wants Grace Dong-Mei to be polite to Frank because she wants Grace Dong-Mei to learn to be polite in any situation and also to learn to face people she does not like.

Also, the word ‘remember’ indicate that Grace Dong-Mei have keep her mother’s command in mind and she actually do what her mother told her to do. This illustrate that Grace Dong-Mei take her mother’s commands as a guide of her action because she is not ascertain about her own decision that she needs her mother to guide her and to make her more confident about herself. Furthermore, when Grace Dong-Mei starts to grow up, she starts to become defiant due to the insistence of Jane Parker of getting Grace Dong-Mei to know more about her roots. Since Grace Dong-Mei is not mature enough to state her stance clearly that she is not accepting her culture, she finally take action: “So I tried playing dumb and deaf, with my mother especially, refusing to respond when she called me Dong-Mei” (2). The use of the verb ‘refusing’ suggest the idea of of developing rebellious phase and psychological resistance of Grace Dong-Mei while facing her own culture. The fact that Grace Dong-Mei is trying to play dumb and deaf with her mother shows her sarcastic defiance

towards her chinese name, which indicate her attitude towards her Chinese indirectly that she refuses to accept her Chinese roots. Also, this quote illustrates that Grace Dong-Mei is not confident enough to face her historical identity and the insistence of Jane Parker eventually make Grace Dong-Mei to accept her roots and learn more about it. In addition, the Parker’s family give Grace Dong-Mei the sense of belonging to the family; Grace Dong-Mei appreciate their graciousness by indicate, “I’ve always known I was adopted, but I always knew I was a Parker too” (101). This quote shows that the Parker’s family treat Grace Dong-Mei as she was a part of this family, this gives Grace Dong-Mei a sense of belonging and knowing that the Parkers family will always support her. With this in mind, Grace Dong-Mei is more encouraged to discover her identity illustrating that Grace Dong-Mei’s confident are actually sustain by the Parkers family. Jane Parker taught Grace Dong-Mei to be polite, brave and able to accept her roots illustrating that Grace Dong-Mei is not confident about herself and Jane Parker eventually become the role model of Grace Dong-Mei. Therefore, Grace Dong-Mei’s lack of confidence cause her to mimic Jane Parker to try to comfort herself.
Secondly, Grace Dong-Mei’s biological mother, Chun-Mei, have a huge impact on how Grace Dong-Mei view herself and the society illustrating that Grace Dong-Mei is not confident enough to make up her own mind and causing herself to be in a passive position. When Grace Dong-Mei is asked to write her personal history, Grace Dong-Mei suddenly realizes that she does not know anything about herself. When Jane Parker asks Grace Dong-Mei why she did not do the assignment, she answered,“I didn’t know my date of birth. Yangzhou was the city where the orphanage was situated, but my actual place of birth was a big mystery as the date” (28).The use of word ‘mystery’ suggests that Grace Dong-Mei’s historical identity are remain unexplained showing that Grace Dong-Mei is confused and lost about her historical identity. This quote illustrates that Chun-Mei’s action has caused Grace Dong-Mei to be unsure about her real identity, however she did leave a note to allow the adopters know the background of Grace Dong-Mei. Grace Dong-Mei is not confident enough to write her informations regarding what she already knows because she think it is not true due to the abandonment of Chun-Mei. Moreover, in the last part of the novel after Grace Dong-Mei met her biological mother, Chun-Mei, she suddenly realizes that Chun-Mei have ever wanted to abandon her and she finally accept Chun-Mei as her mother. At the end of the novel, Grace Dong-Mei make her final statement about her journey of self-discovering: “I have met one hero in my life. Her name is Chun-mei, she is my mother” (227).