Gender Roles In Romeo And Juliet

In William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, a recurring theme is the power struggle between parent and child for control over the child’s future. The term “parent” not only includes the biological mother and father, but also parental figures in the young lovers’ lives. These roles vary from supportive and loving, like the Montagues, Friar Lawrence and the Nurse, to cruel and controlling, like Lord and Lady Capulet.

At the beginning of the play, Lord and Lady Capulet have conflicting views about Juliet’s future. Juliet’s father initially believes she is too young to consider marriage. He says to Paris, “My child is yet a stranger in the world./ She hath not seen the change at fourteen years./ Let two more summers wither in their pride/ Ere

we may think her ripe to be a bride” (1.2.8­11). As the play progresses, however, Lord Capulet’s opposition to Juliet marrying Paris seems to disappear.

Lord Capulet says, “Sir Paris, I will make a desperate tender/ Of my child’s love. I think she will be ruled/ In all respects by me; nay, more, I doubt it not’’ (3.4.12­14). Juliet is less than thrilled when Lord Capulet schedules an immediate wedding date, just a few days off, and communicates to him her refusal to marry Paris. In response, Lord Capulet says. “Hang thee young baggage, disobedient wretch!/ I tell thee what ­ get thee to church a Thursday/ Or never after look me in the face” (3.5.160­162). Whereas he seems concerned for his young daughter’s well being at the beginning of the play, his words become cruel in response to her disobedience. Having uttered these cold words, it is surprising at the end of the play that he seems upset when he learns of her death.

“Alack, my child is dead,/ And with my child my joys are buried” (4.5.65­66) It is unclear whether his grief is genuine. Is he indeed grieving for the loss of his daughter, or is he simply disappointed that Juliet will not be able to marry Paris? It is impossible to know. Either way, Lord Capulet tries to make amends with the Montagues by honoring Romeo and Juliet’s love and death. This seems to be too little, too late.

In stark contrast to Lord Capulet, Lady Capulet’s actions and feelings toward Juliet seem to remain consistent throughout the play. Lady Capulet and Juliet do not seem to have a close relationship. When Lady Capulet wants to have a private mother­daughter conversation about marriage with Juliet, she asks the Nurse to remain in the room, after initially suggesting that the Nurse leave. Lady Capulet says, “Well, think of marriage now. Younger than you/ Here in Verona, ladies of esteem/, Are made already mothers” (3.5.4). Lady Capulet is making known her wish for Juliet to marry and have children. When Juliet refuses to marry Paris, Lady Capulet is upset that Juliet will not fulfill her wishes. She goes as far as to say, “Do as thou wilt, for I have done with thee” (1.3.204). At this point in the play, both Lord and Lady Capulet have made it clear that Juliet must marry Paris or she will be disowned. Lady Capulet’s love toward Juliet is obviously conditional, for once Juliet agrees to marry Paris, she becomes more caring toward her. “What, are you busy, ho? Need you my help?” (4.3.6). The next morning, upon discovering Juliet’s lifeless body, Lady Capulet exclaims, “O me, O me! My child, my only life./ Revive, look up, or I will die with thee” (4.5.22). It is unclear as to whether this reaction is genuine, as her feelings for Juliet seem to fluctuate throughout the play.

Since birth, the most maternal person in Juliet’s life is the Nurse. She is the only character who truly cares for Juliet and shows her unconditional love. Whereas Juliet’s parents are attempting to marry her off to Paris, the Nurse understands Juliet’s heart and helps Juliet make plans to marry Romeo. “Hie you to church. I must another way/ To fetch a ladder, by the which your love/ Must climb a bird’s nest soon when it is dark” (2.5.72­74). It is obvious that Juliet has a more loving relationship with the Nurse, as she is the person Juliet turns to for comfort when her world seems to be crumbling around her. “Comfort me, counsel me....What sayst thou? Hast thou not a word of joy?/ Some comfort, Nurse” (3.5.209­213). Even when the Nurse advises Juliet to marry Paris, it is clear that she is encouraging Juliet to do what is truly in her best interest. Juliet asks the Nurse if this advice is coming from the heart and the Nurse replies, “And from my soul too, else beshrew them both” (3.5.228). When the Nurse finds Juliet dead, she is hysterical and it is clear that she is truly devastated. Her love for Juliet is consistent and genuine, unlike that of Lord and Lady Capulet.

Although Shakespeare does not detail Romeo’s relationship with his parents to the same degree as he does that of Juliet and her parents, it seems as though the Montagues are far more caring toward their son.

When Lady Montague is first introduced, she is expressing relief that her son was not present to witness a fight. “O where is Romeo, saw you him today?/ Right glad I am he was not at this fray” (1.1.111­112). Her love for Romeo is so strong, that upon learning of his exile, later in the play, Lady Montague dies of heartache. Lord Montague is similarly portrayed as a loving parent. He comes to Romeo’s defense when speaking to Prince Escalus. “Not Romeo, Prince, he was Mercutio’s friend./ His fault concludes but what the law should end,/ The life of Tybalt” (3.1.180­182). The next time Lord Montague appears in the play, he is offering the Capulets a statue of Juliet made of pure gold to end the rivalry that resulted in their children’s death. It is likely that Shakespeare included less detail about the Montagues, because their relationship with Romeo is far more simple than the relationship of the

Capulets.

Just like Juliet has the Nurse as a parental figure, Romeo has Friar Lawrence to advise him. As Friar Lawrence realizes that Romeo is falling quickly for Juliet, he warns him, “Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast” (2.3.96). He obviously cares for Romeo. Romeo trusts Friar Lawrence and turns to him in his time of need when he is exiled and hiding from the law. Friar Lawrence cares for Romeo and devises a plan so that Romeo and Juliet can run away together. Although this plan fails miserably, Friar Lawrence maintains his loyalty to Romeo to the bitter end. He does everything in his power to help Romeo be with Juliet.

While the circumstances of the Montagues and Capulets may be different than those faced by families today, the parent­child dynamic described by Shakespeare in the Renaissance era remains remarkably similar to what we experience today. Throughout history teens have been notorious for rebelling against their parents, and parents have struggled to maintain control of their children’s lives. A tale as old as time.