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Recommended: Theories of grief
The first time I ever heard of someone close to me was passing away, I was six. I was hanging out with my older sister and her friend at the time. My parents had dropped us off at my sister's friend’s house because they had to go somewhere but didn't tell me. As the time passed, I was curious about where my parents had gone, so I asked my sister. Before I could even finish she had said the word “ Funeral”. She stopped herself and realized what she just said.
“Funeral?” My 6 six year old mind couldn't comprehend the word, so I repeated it a few times to my sister, saying it like it was a question. My sister and her friend stood there silently as I stood there confused.
“ Who died?” I had got the words to come out, I had finally understood the
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I was very confused and hurt at the same time. I felt so helpless at the time, but yet I didn't cry that moment. Why wasn't I crying, I had thought, she was my best friend. She was my babysitter’s daughter. I was hurt and upset and no one was there for me. My sister and her friend didn't pay attention, didn't comfort me, I was alone. I just wished Kristina was there with me, but I knew she couldn't be here.
When my parents came to pick up my sister and I, I ran to my mother's arms and my eyes started to water. She had just assumed my sister had told where they were, but she wasn't mad, she knew that she should have told me instead of wasting time not telling me. But now I see why she didn't tell me at the time, she just didn't want to hurt me. I was also so young at the time.
Over the course of a few months passing, and every time I went to my babysitter’s house, I expected her to come rushing over to me and hug me, and to hang out with me but she wasn't. It's like she was here one day then gone the next in the blink of an eye. My mind couldn't adjust to not seeing her when I went over. I became even more upset from when I was first told. As for my babysitter she would put on a smile for me, but I knew that deep down she wasn't doing well. I was happy to be spending time there at the house, yet it was upsetting to be there at the same
When I was twelve years old, a close friend of mine passed away. At first, I didn’t know how to process what was happening. How can someone I’ve known for the majority of my life be gone? But then it finally hit me. My friend was really gone. There would be no more days challenging
I figured someone had passed away, but I didn't think much of it. My father spoke to me in a very calm and soft voice with tears in his eyes. In between his words you could hear the hurt. He told me that my godmother had passed away. I sat there not knowing what to say, but could feel the hurt overwhelm me.
This is crazy. Why am I afraid? I’m acting as if this is my first funeral. Funerals have become a given, especially with a life like mine, the deaths of my father, my uncle and not my biological mother, you would think I could be somewhat used to them by now. Now I know what you’re thinking, death is all a part of life. But the amount of death that I’ve experienced in my life would make anyone cower away from the thought. This funeral is nothing compared to those unhappy events.
Death’s whisper traveled in my ear, wrapping around my mind, “I can take you away from this madness. Beyond this hell, that is life.” “Will it be more peaceful there?” I asked. “As serene as heaven above.” Possessive Depression responded. My heavy heart fluttered at the thought of serenity. No more painful days, or lonely, restless nights. No more of this living death. Anxiety murmured all my insecurities tempting me to make the decision, as every tick-tock from the clock he held, echoed in my brain, putting fear in me of things that will never happen. I thought about the invitation to eternal sleep, “I would finally be able to extract this smiling mask…” Thus, I decided to join the dance of death, done dealing with my dilemmas.
The ride home had been the most excruciating car ride of my life. Grasping this all new information, coping with grief and guilt had been extremely grueling. As my stepfather brought my sister and I home, nothing was to be said, no words were leaving my mouth.Our different home, we all limped our ways to our beds, and cried ourselves to sleep with nothing but silence remaining. Death had surprised me once
In the process of reading chapter two, I immediately thought back two years ago. I had the worst Stressor. I've had in my only 16 years of living. My great grandmother, who I lived with along with my mother, my whole life. She passed from stomach cancer. September 14 2013, I remember getting out of the shower with a smile on my face, and my grandmother casually walking in and said "Granny died at 2:34 this morning. I'm going to Chicago and I'll come back the day before the funeral. " My family works in the funeral industry but we do not own a funeral home and we have never buried such a close family member of ours. With my Step father and my mother losing their minds, and my little sister not knowing how to process this and my aunt just down right disappearing, I had to handle this. I was 14 at the time and I was calling on older friends to take me to the bank, finishing arrangements, picking clothes, doing the memorial video and the catering because none of my family offered to cook. I was panicking and literally running from place to place because I was trying to get things done. I was eating more and sleeping less, and from
As we pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. Just a week ago, my ex-husband Rick, had brought our children back from a fun-filled vacation. They had spent two weeks exploring Tennessee, visiting amusement parks, and flying over the Smokey Mountains. He had brought them back to Ohio, dropped them off at my new house, and had asked to see the dog that my daughter adopted at the humane society. I had taken him to see the dog, she seemed uncomfortable with his presence and growled. Still he had lingered, talking about their trip and his plans for the next time he saw them. The conversation and pleasantries were hard for me to force. Years of living with someone who was manipulative and had abused
She told me that mom needed to tell me something. She proceeded to tell me that my father had had a heart attack and that I had a choice to come down to the hospital or not to come. She told me it was a scary sight, and if I didn?t think I could handle it that I should stay home. I was overwhelmed with fear and grief at that moment that my mind just stopped working. I remember thinking all I wanted was to be with my mom and my dad.
My father passed away in 1991, two weeks before Christmas. I was 25 at the time but until then I had not grown up. I was still an ignorant youth that only cared about finding the next party. My role model was now gone, forcing me to reevaluate the direction my life was heading. I needed to reexamine some of the lessons he taught me through the years.
My mom was with me and then we get a call that Sam just went into labor with my little sister Rachel. Everyone started stressing out because i was in the hospital and now she was. I stayed in recovery while Sam had Rachel. We all got released out of the hospital on the same day. We all went home and at first things were going fine.
I asked my friend if I could come over to his house and hang out. Shortly after I arrived there my sister called me and she started to talk about Roxie, I yelled at her telling her that she was going to make my cry again. She agreed, I could hear her crying on the other end of the line. Guilt, the thing that made me cry. I hated keeping up with Roxie and taking care of her so she could have a happy life.
Even though I clearly remember all the sanity me and my little family went through. I never wanted them to know their mother just up and disappear on them. I took a deep breath and was about ready to tell them the whole truth. They already knew too much. But right before I could speak, I became suddenly unspoken-less. They gave me this look, not a look of sadness, more like a look of pride and honor. They both huddle close to me and gave me a hug. The words that came from their mouths next. I 'll never forget
I had a lot of friends and family who died but it is hard for me to forget them. I have a lot of things to talk about in my narration. However, I am 21 years old that has had experience with the death of a loved one. In the past week, I lost one of the most important people in my life.
If I were to find myself to be dying suddenly, and request a living funeral, I would probably want it to affirm myself before dying. Dying is likely a lonely experience because only you know the feeling of inevitable dread; the sinking feeling of knowing your life is slipping away. It is just nice to know that people love you, and will miss you when you’re gone; regardless of whether someone is dying or not, you should let them know that you love them, but it’s not as common to do, in our society. At the “funeral”, I wouldn’t want it to be depressive or glum, I would want it to be fun like a party, I would have extravagant foods and circus performers, (who cares if I can’t afford them, I’ll be dead!) and hypothetically midgets to perform rituals
Today, the day before his funeral. The day I would soon know how it feels to be overpowered with negativity, yet be able to see light. I was crushed by the fact that I was attending the funeral of this loved one. I personally couldn't bring myself to muster the strength or courage to even say his name. Yet people could see him still.