Flattery And Conformity Analysis

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Early in life, when people wanted to influence us, they got away with flattery and conformity. By complimenting us and agreeing with our opinions, they buttered us up and got what they wanted. As we gain experience with coworkers and bosses, advertisers and marketers, and friends and family members, we become wiser (link is external). We recognize these thinly veiled ingratiation attempts, and they fall flat. -Adam Grant, PhD Influence is INCREDIBLY powerful. And because of that - many people are wary of it. 99% of the general public couldn’t identify techniques like framing, pacing, body language analysis… or name influence experts like Robert Cialdini, Robert Greene or Ryan Holiday… But the average person is still intuitively aware …show more content…

Frame flattery as potentially embarassing Compliments are one of the most obvious and effective tools of influence - but it’s also deceptively hard to do well. You don’t want to seem transparent, forced, or even worse - like you’re trying to approach your subject romantically. But a few Influence experts have figured out how to downplay flattery in this clever way: they frame it as likely to make their subject uncomfortable. “I don’t want to embarrass you, but…” “I know you won’t want me to say this, but…” “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but…” People get away with this sneaky tactic for two reasons. First, it disguises the goal: if the aim was to get something out of the other person, we expect people to focus on making us feel good, not bad. Second, it portrays the person positively, making them seem modest and not easily manipulated. It’s also a great way to knock out any romantic tension that people may be suspicious of. It’s an unavoidable fact that many people will view compliments as a romantic advance, no matter how professional-sounding. This is worth taking great pains to avoid. 2. Frame flattery as advice-seeking Savvy influencers also use this clever tactic: couching compliments in advice

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