Early in life, when people wanted to influence us, they got away with flattery and conformity. By complimenting us and agreeing with our opinions, they buttered us up and got what they wanted. As we gain experience with coworkers and bosses, advertisers and marketers, and friends and family members, we become wiser (link is external). We recognize these thinly veiled ingratiation attempts, and they fall flat. -Adam Grant, PhD Influence is INCREDIBLY powerful. And because of that - many people are wary of it. 99% of the general public couldn’t identify techniques like framing, pacing, body language analysis… or name influence experts like Robert Cialdini, Robert Greene or Ryan Holiday… But the average person is still intuitively aware …show more content…
Frame flattery as potentially embarassing Compliments are one of the most obvious and effective tools of influence - but it’s also deceptively hard to do well. You don’t want to seem transparent, forced, or even worse - like you’re trying to approach your subject romantically. But a few Influence experts have figured out how to downplay flattery in this clever way: they frame it as likely to make their subject uncomfortable. “I don’t want to embarrass you, but…” “I know you won’t want me to say this, but…” “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but…” People get away with this sneaky tactic for two reasons. First, it disguises the goal: if the aim was to get something out of the other person, we expect people to focus on making us feel good, not bad. Second, it portrays the person positively, making them seem modest and not easily manipulated. It’s also a great way to knock out any romantic tension that people may be suspicious of. It’s an unavoidable fact that many people will view compliments as a romantic advance, no matter how professional-sounding. This is worth taking great pains to avoid. 2. Frame flattery as advice-seeking Savvy influencers also use this clever tactic: couching compliments in advice
Being a bad influence is a lot like being a daisy in a sunflower field. In order to get what they want, they both spread everywhere. Spreading the bad idea and seed throughout. Throughout time peers and ourselves have influenced us to want money or just to seem cool.
However, Milgram’s theoretical basis for this particular study was that human beings have the propensity to obey other individuals who hold a dominant position over them. Milgram wielded 40 males that were between the age ranges of 20 through 50. 15 men out of the 40 that were the subjects of this study were either skilled or unskilled workers, 16 men were white-collar sales or business men, and 9 were professional men. These subjects were preferred by newspaper ads and direct-mail application querying for the subjects to be rewarded participants for this study.
This type of criminal profiling is quick, accurate, and easy. But, it is the opposite in real life. People in today’s society believe that actual crime solving is as easy as it is in Hollywood while in reality it takes weeks, maybe even months, for criminal profilers to narrow the suspects down to one person. On reality shows, every case is solved within the forty-five plus minutes of every episode. These unrealistic events set people up for a lot of confusion. These shows don’t go into much detail on how they solve these crimes and catch the “bad guys” you just know that they put some papers in machines and somehow have a database containing the faces of hundreds to thousands of people. This type of database does not even exist yet. Though progress is being made, there is no piece of machinery that can pinpoint the face of any person of your choosing. So, knowing this, it seems quite difficult to grasp the thought that these crime shows would ever be able to get any actual work done because without these “machines” that they use on their shows, they would be unable to catch their “guy” as quickly and easily as they do. Therefore, criminal profiling would be known as a boring and dragging event that most people would not be interested in were it not for the exaggerations applied to the processes that occur in the “crime-fighting, inspired countless movies, television shows, and best-selling thrillers.” Our reality is distorted by the media, causing people to believe some of the craziest things. Along with over-exaggerating reality, society has set standards and stereotypes that many people
People change as time moves on. The new generation is overtaking the old generation in the working world. Bringing with them the culture of praise as it worked its way into the adult world. In his essay, The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work, Jeffrey Zaslow states, “A lot of today’s young adults feel insecure if they’re not regularly complimented.” Although some of his arguments are questionable, I agreed with Zaslow. Many of the young adults consider compliments as beneficial and need it badly in resulting of building their self-esteem, being accept, and ease their ego.
How Influence Can Change a Person As someone once said…. “Sometimes people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a lifetime. It matters not the time they spent with you but how they impacted your life in that time.” – Unknown.
loyalty oath. If this happened then that state could setup a new state government. Under
People are afraid that they will be judged for telling the truth or that they will be punished. So they just hide it or cover it up. People tend to believe covering the truth with something different is better to “protect” people from harm. A quote I found to show this was, “In fact, you’re claiming the right to be unhappy”(pg. 240). This quote shows that the people are willing to be unhappy instead of speaking the truth.
We need to make sure when giving our girls compliments it’s not only about her looks or appearance, but also it is good to compliment our girls on their qualities as well. Qualities, like their intelligence, their kindness, their grades, or their strength, this will help them to not only focus on their looks but they it will help them to focus on their potential as well.
“Hey, thanks for telling me,” with a soft voice and light smile. Does it sound familiar to you? Perhaps the response seems good and polite on the surface, but people might be very frustrating deep inside. Truly, the burden of societal expectation forbids people to share their true feeling and opinion, therefore a genuine interaction among people becomes very rare. Although the U.S. government encourages gender equality, but the society remains the same; in reality, society has a higher expectation on women over men.
People define being influential as having someone or something looking up to you. Another way people define being influential is having control over something. Influence can be used in many ways, it can be used to make you buy something, or it can make you think different, it can also be used to help encourage people. Most of the time famous people are influential to the lower tier an example would be a professional baseball player would be a big influence to someone who is just starting out, or an popular actor influential too. Although some people say that having much influence is bad because it can make you become greedy with power but, Stan Lee proves that wrong by using his influence to help to other people in his life.
Cialdini, Robert B, & Trost, Melanie R. (1998). Social Influence: Social Norms, Conformity, & Compliance. Interpersonal Phenomena. Retrieved from: angel.elmira.edu/section/default.asp?id=w114_PSY3010_01.
This essay concerns social influence in general. Aspects of social influence as such as majority influence and minority influence will be discussed in terms of their underlying psychological processes and how they differ. Majority influence or conformity refers to the desire to belong or to fit in within a particular group which involves adopting certain attributes, behaviour and attitudes of a particular group. As a result individuals consequently experience group pressure (in Baron, Branscombe & Byrne 2008). Minority influence on the other hand, refers to the influence that the minority exert over the majority in that the majority come to accept the beliefs and behaviours of a minority (in Baron et al. 2008).
The first principle of persuasion is likeability. If a person knows you, likes you and trusts you, you will have more influence on that person. Many factors play into whether or not a person or group likes another person or group. Being attractive, having similarities or common ties, familiarity, praise and being complimentary, and also being connected to the positive help one to be more likeable. Reciprocity is the basic concept of ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’, and ‘what goes aournd comes around’ (Myers, 2010, pg. 237). Performing favors is a powerful tool to influence because people feel obligated to repay that favor. The third principle listed is social proof. This is related to peer pressure as people tend to look to others to substantiate and justif...
The book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini illustrates the implementation of reciprocation, commitment and consistency, social proof, liking, authority, and scarcity. The book identifies these six principles as weapons of influence in aiding with persuasion. The following explains and applies each principle.
Henningsen, D., Braz, M., & Davies, E. (2008). WHY DO WE FLIRT? Journal of Business Communication, 45(4), 483-502.