Finding Love
What is love? This question has probably been asked or thought about since the beginning of time. The definition of love cannot be defined as something concrete but something that is infinite. It is something that can evolve to everyone's personality and something that everyone can choose to create for him or her. The idea of love can change as the seasons change throughout the year. But for some, finding love is not an easy path and the search for love can become a façade to cover their true identity. In Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin, the main character seems to be confused about his life and more importantly about love. He not only struggles to find his sexuality but he uses the notion of love to fill the void in his life at any given time. David becomes so enveloped by his desires, wants, dreams, and idea of manhood that he cannot truly find what love means to him.
As the story of David's trek to Europe unfolds, there is an obvious sense of confusion and understanding all in one. He starts off right away talking about how he never loved Hella. He states, "…I thought she would be fun to have fun with. That was how it began, that was all it meant to me I am not sure now, in spite of everything, that it ever really meant more than that to me (p.4)". All throughout the novel, David is confused about Hella. Yet, he still asks her to marry him and strings her along through his sexuality confusion because he believes that she can make him happy. He constantly refers back to a life that he wants to lead, but a life with a nice home, a wife, and some children. What he fails to question is why he believes those are his true dreams. Even as he leaves for Europe he talks about his father and says, "And we got on quite well, really, for the vision I gave my father of my life was exactly the vision in which I myself most desperately needed to believe (p.20)."
What is most interesting as his story goes on is how David is so capable of convincing Hella and Giovanni that he truly loved both of them. He kept both of them in his life but never truly knew what he wanted. In his mind, he wanted the perfect American family to bring home to his father yet he could never resist the desire for men that he held within.
Loving God and hating his own mother kept David strong. David loved God, he prayed every night to God. He hated his mother so much he wanted to outthink her tricks, he did. He used different tactics like over exaggerating his pain when he got beat, putting a wet cloth over his mouth when his mother put cleaning products in a room with him. David kept counting time in his head in order to make the time pass faster.
David demonstrates confusion with his sense of belonging in society by identifying as a homosexual, yet wanting to live a structured life like what society qualifies it to be between men and women. In the book the reference of not qualifying homosexuals as men is especially defined in the scene where David and Giovanni argue before parting ways; ' ' 'I can have a life with (Hella). ' (…) 'What kind of life can two men have together anyway? (…) You want to go out and be the big laborer and bring home the money, and you want me to stay here and wash the dishes and cook the food and clean this miserable closet of a room and kiss you when you come through that door and lie with you at night and be your little girl (…) But I 'm a man, ' ' '(142). This quote implies that David is still brain washed by society 's views of gender role, and since there are no defined roles for the life of homosexuals, David is thus pro-pulsed towards leaving his true identity as a homosexual behind in order to have a structured life. The vast majority of people grow up with the idea of having a life similar to that of their parents '. In Giovanni 's room, it is expected of David to be just like his father, to have parties and be surrounded by women and alcohol, which society has
A loss of David’s innocence appears during his killing of a magpie. This “it can be done in a flick of the finger”. The particular significance about this plays an important part in his as he considers that he also is capable of committing such unfortunate yet immoral things. “Looking in the dead bird’s eye, I realised that these strange, unthought of connections - sex and death, lust and violence, desire and degradation - are there, there, deep in even a good heart’s chambers”.
At first, David cares that his mother treats him badly. After awhile, he doesn’t care and becomes apathetic.
1. In the book, the father tries to help the son in the beginning but then throughout the book he stops trying to help and listens to the mother. If I had been in this same situation, I would have helped get the child away from his mother because nobody should have to live like that. The father was tired of having to watch his son get abused so eventually he just left and didn’t do anything. David thought that his father would help him but he did not.
The characters that help David come to terms with who he is and prove that being himself is beneficial to himself are Uncle Axel, the Sealand Lady and Sophie. Uncle Axel helps David achieve self-awareness through genuineness and impartiality. When Uncle Axel was explaining how David and Rosalind may easily be closer to the “true image”, this displays his integrity: “Perhaps the Old People were the image: very well then, one of the things they say about them is that they could talk to one another over long distances. Now, we can’t do that - but you and Rosalind can. Just think about that Davie.
It's hard for us to imagine what it would be like to be in David's shoes and it's very easy to judge. We can ask us why he didn't just accept his homosexuality and get on with it, but that question will never be answered. David was raised with the opinion that man and woman-relationships were the only way, and his foundation was built on that belief.
David finds it difficult communicating with her hence, attempts to express his feelings by writing to her but at the same time he fears that she won’t be able to apprehend what he is trying to
He had asked her to marry him and she told him she needed time to think and be alone. David thought he was in love with her and wanted to settle down and start a life with her. Every time David would start to feel something towards Giovanni he would use Hella as an excuse to convince himself he wasn’t actually having feelings towards him. “Now she would be coming back and my life with Giovanni would be finished. It would be something that happened to me once-it would be something that happened to many men once.” (pg 94) here David is convincing himself that it’s nothing out of the ordinary for this to happen to all men. Everyone around David besides his friends who were gay were telling him to start his life and have kids. In David’s eyes and the ones around him, his life wouldn’t start until he was married with kids. He one day asked Giovanni “I can have a life with her. What kind of life can two men have together, anyway?” (pg 142). Once Hella came back from Spain she told David she was ready to get married and have kids with him, except now David was in love with Giovanni. David hid what happened with Giovanni from Hella while she was away and told Hella he was ready to get married. David was pushing away how he really felt towards Giovanni and convincing himself he was still in love with Hella. As time went on David lost his sexual feelings toward Hella and could only think about Giovanni.
his father and dead mother. David's father has an idealized vision of his son as
What is love? The age-old question arises once more. In truth, a universal definition has not been agreed upon, but generally one can define love as “an indication of adoration” or an “an ineffable feeling of intense attraction shared in interpersonal and sexual relationships.” Love can be directed towards kin, a lover, oneself, nature, or humanity- but regardless that love in an emotional sense is eternal. Some fall into love, and some claim they fall out. Love should be endless, lasting, and pure, but half of the time that love ends up being a sham. There is solid record of this false love- love that is meant to look pure- in the famous writings The Lottery and To His Coy Mistress.
Poets and philosophers for centuries have been trying to answer the question, what is love? Love has an infinite number of definitions, which vary from one person to another. Love cannot be measured by any physical means. One may never know what true love is until love it- self has been experienced. What is love? A four letter word that causes a person to behave in a way that is out of character. What is love? A first kiss, childhood crushes on a teacher or friend’s mom. What is love? A choice that people make by putting their partner’s wishes, desires and needs above everything else. What is love? The act of forgiveness, the infatuation with someone, the communication between two people. What is love? A friendship that turned into a lifelong commitment, that special someone who has vowed to spend the rest of their lives to honor and protect, to love each other “till death do you part.” When in love nothing else in the world matters. According to the online Encarta Dictionary love is the passionate feeling of romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody. Poets and philosophers may never know what love really is, and we may never truly understand the question what is love.
David is very ambitious and determined, and these are the qualities that have pulled him through his
...s david is strong and focused on practical matters like building his career and keeping a household and keeping a household, this is portrayed when David asks Dora how they could live if he did not work, and her response was, “how, any how!”David is unhappy with her response and feels as if he is unable to discuss with her any of his lifely concerns.if david had a disciplines heart it would prevent him from rushing into marriage with the unsuitable dora, and would allow him to take a long enough pause to notice the far more suitable Agnes. Therfore the best and most prominent examples of good and equal marriages in David cooperfield are the Strongs and Davids marriage to Agnes.
This is simply a strong physical attraction that David has for Dora, and he “was gone” and “swallowed” up in an instant by her beauty. David idolizes Dora from the beginning with the thought that she is perfect and isn’t capable of any wrongdoing. From the start, Dora’s strength is beauty and youthfulness, but being young and beautiful only goes so far and lasts so long. David’s love affair begins the moment he sees Dora and he quickly develops an obsession for her: “How many cups of tea I drank, because Dora made it, I don’t know” (Dickens 404). David goes on “loving Dora, harder than ever,” and confesses his love for her, and they are soon engaged (Dickens