Fida Boyelski Shiva By Abigail Ullman Summary

Frida Boyelski’s Shiva

As a parent, you always try to do what is best for your children. You want them to be happy, and you never want to lose them. At some point, you might wonder: How will I react if one of my children is transgender – will I support or leave them? A love between a mother and a daughter may seem as strong as ice in a cooler, but perhaps one alteration can change everything.

The short story “Frida Boyelski’s Shiva” was written in 2016 by Abigail Ulman, who is a writer from Melbourne Australia. Abigail Ulman’s story follows one significant theme, namely the bond between a mother and a daughter. The story follows a woman named Frida Boyelski’s Shiva, who is the mother of Ruthie Boyelski, or as the story evolves, the mother

of Rafael Boyelski. The story follows Frida’s struggles with accepting her daughter as a transgender male.
The main character is Frida Boyelski, who is the mother of Ruthie. It seems that Frida has had a great bond with her daughter in the past, but when she learns that her daughter is transgender, everything changes. You can argue that she is in denial at first, because she believes that her daughter is gay . After realizing that her daughter is, in fact, transgender, she has a challenging time accepting her daughter as her soon-to-be son, which can be seen in this line: “Frida had the strange feeling that if she let Ruthie go now, she might not be exactly the same person when she came back.” She seems to be afraid of losing her daughter, but as the story continues, we learn that she feels like her daughter is already gone. This can be seen due to the fact that she holds a “shiva” for her daughter, which is seven days of mourning. You can hereto include that Frida is Jewish. Despite this, it seems that she, at the end, has grown to accept her daughter as her son. You can, therefore, say that Frida develops throughout the story, which can be seen in this line: “Frida Boyelski had always wanted a daughter. Then she had a daughter and that daughter turned out to be a son. […] Frida suggested that they make dinner and eat together,” – Concluding, you can say that even though Frida never states it directly, it seems that she, throughout her seven days of grieving, finally has grown to accept that her daughter is, in fact, her son. Perhaps, you can even say that the “shiva” was a way for her to say a final and proper goodbye to her daughter.
Regarding the relationship between Frida and her daughter, Ruthie, you can say that their relationship develops throughout the story. At the beginning of the story, Frida struggles to accept the fact that her daughter is transgender, but at the end of the story, she seems to have accepted her daughter as her son. Furthermore, you can argue that their relationship is better than it was before, because there are no longer any secrets between them, including that they have had a difficult talk about, among other things, first names, hair and clothes. Now, it seems that they are simply just enjoying each other’s company.
As for Ruthie being transgender, you can add that there has been signs of it in the past, which can be seen in these lines: “’I told you,’ she’d cried to Frida, ‘I want a BMX racer.’” and “a frown over a fairy princess birthday cake, screaming fights about pinafores purchased for Passover,” – As for the aforementioned quotations, it seems that Frida, for whatever reason, perhaps religion, disregarded the signs of her daughter not wanting to do so-called girly things, which can be a sign of someone being transgender. The previous is not necessarily signs of someone being transgender, but if you take the events in the story into consideration, it seems to add up.
Something that it noteworthy to mention is that the bond between Frida and Ruthie seems to be strong – maybe even unbreakable. This can be explained by stating that not everyone would be all right with their mother setting up a message, which shares your identity with everyone. You can, therefore, say that it shows understanding from both sides. Frida grows to accept her daughter as a transgender, and Ruthie accepts that her mother did not read the book that she wanted her to read, which can be seen in this line: “If he noticed the book sitting unopened and unread on the coffee table, he didn’t mention it.” Also, Ruthie never mentioned the message, which Frida put in the newspaper , nor did Ruthie, or Rafael, rather, seem mad.
As for the structure of the story, the story has a circular composition.

This can be explained by stating that the story begins and ends in the same place. The story begins in the house with Frida learning that her daughter, Ruthie, is transgender . Afterwards, Frida calls in sick for work, calls a Jewish Newspaper, and puts a message in the Bereavements section. Subsequently, she holds a “shiva” , which lasts for seven days, where several people visit her, and blame themselves for what ‘happened’ to her daughter , including Frida’s ex-husband, Ruthie’s father, who blames Frida . At the end, Frida and Ruthie is back at the house, where they have a talk, and Frida’s daughter is now her son, Rafael.

As for the narrative technique, the story is written in the third person, and the story is seen from Frida’s point of view. Even though the story is written in the third person, the narrator does have access to Frida’s thoughts and feelings. The story also contains direct speech and flashbacks , which make it seem that the narrator either is, in fact, Frida or Ruthie, or someone who was a part of the events. Additionally, you can add that the narrator is limited, because the narrator only has access to Frida’s thoughts and feelings, but not to

Ruthie’s.
The ending of the story is arguable, but it seems that the ending is closed. We, as the readers, do not know what will happen in the future, but the issues regarding Ruthie being transgender, and now having the first name Rafael, is no longer a problem. You cannot state it definitively, because Frida never actually says it, but it seems that Frida has accepted her daughter as her son, and therefore this chapter is over.
My overall conclusion of Abigail Ulman’s story is that even though it is a fictional story, it could easily have occurred in real life. Notwithstanding the fact that not everyone would hold a “shiva” to grieve over their daughter or son being transgender, it truly shows how struggling it can be. Indirectly, the story shows the everlasting love between a mother and a daughter, because not every mother would accept their daughter transforming into a male. The story creates a great suspense and as the reader, you want to know, with a one hundred percent certainty, that the mother and her transgender son have reconnected – but perhaps this fictional story is a reflection on life – you never know what might happen.
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Written by: Michelle Melanie Strelluf, 2.b

Words: 1204
Overall words: 1219