Yes, I will listen to your stories. All of them. Yes, I will carve out time for you when you need a friend. If I find holes in your story or something seems a tad off, I will keep my words to myself. I will keep my doubts to myself, because as a friend my job is to be there. What I will not do, is publicly support a woman who says they have been raped, but has no evidence, and demand a man go to jail. I won't do that.
I know a few women who have been raped. It was brutal. Life altering. My friend D was kidnapped and raped at gunpoint by two men. They got her to the ominous second location, and most experts agree if your captures get you that far you are as good as dead. By the Grace of God she is still with us today. My mother, while walking with a friend at a sixties Woodstock -type concert, was accosted by three men who jumped out of the woods and grabbed them. My mother managed to get away and find the police. Her friend did not. I have a few more stories like this, but you get the picture.
Which is why I take rape, and sexual assault very seriously. This is something that leaves its mark on your being forever. It has a profound effect of your quality of life, your career and
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personal relationships. It can be a soul destroyer. Some women ( or men) choose not to go to the police out of shame or fear they will not be believed. Understood. If I victim chooses not to go to the authorities, that is their choice. But if a victim comes forward five or ten years later, with no physical evidence, do so with the understanding that the alleged rapist may not go to jail based on your word.
Do so with the understanding that people will question your story, because a man's life is basically on the line. Even if you have a lot of twitter followers. Even if you create a really good hashtag and a celebrity sends you a message of support. Social media is not a court of law, no matter how much we wanted it to be. We have to have due process. If you would like to show up naked at the courthouse with misogyny on your chest and label the judge's explanation as "manslaughter", by my guest. It's not going to change our court system. Only a fool would choose a Twitter Court over the real
thing. If you think Listen and Believe automatically translates to Listen and Send the Man to Jail, google Brian Keith Banks. Are fake rape accusations rare ? Maybe. But we see them enough that I think hanging on to empirical evidence and due process is a damn good idea.
Realistically, men could never last a day in a woman’s shoes. Men feel they have power and control over women. Women are only seen as objects and all they are meant to do is housework and raise children. Being a woman is hard work. It requires much courage and motivation. “I had to fight to control my trembling and shaky voice. I had to pretend it wasn’t as all that. I was asked to describe the man who raped me. I did so” (p. 178). As strong as a woman is, she is still vulnerable. The horrifying reality of being raped never broke April. It gave her just enough courage to walk away and forgive those that did her wrong. Sometimes a traumatizing experience can dramatically change a person’s life for the better. It gives them wisdom, strength and the faith that things will get
"30% of rape victims had experienced at least one major depressive episode in their lifetimes" (Kilpatrick). To simplify that shattering statistic, that means almost 1/3 of all rape victims experience depression through out their lifetime. The victims of rape are often scared of telling people what happened because they don't want their identity to be known. "68% of all rape Victims are concerned of their identity being revealed to the public and becoming known for being a rape victim" (Kilpatrick). Women experience anxiety about their story being shown to the public. Rape victims also seem to develop PTSD similar to a war veteran. "Rape victims are 6.2 times more likely to develop PTSD than women who have never been victims
“It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I was so terrified at the time I felt like I had no other options. I still feel ashamed about my actions and for a while I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror,” she told me. Linda isn’t alone; every year in the United States, 237,868 women are raped, ages 12 and older.... ...
The level of hurt that can come from ignoring a sexual assault and that it actually happened can affect someone negatively. It can even get them to thinking bad about themselves and it can turn to the worse fast. There were many flaw’s/fallacies that were committed pertaining to these sexual assaults on campus.
Rape is a virus that infects every nation, culture and society. It is constantly referred to as “the unfinished murder”, because of the deep state of despair the rapist leaves the victim in. There is no common identifiable trend that determines who will be a rape victim. Women are not assaulted because of their attitudes or actions, they are attacked simply because they are present. With rapists, just as with their victims, there is no identifiable trend. The old myth that only “sick, dirty, old, perverted men” commit rapes is a lie that society tells itself in order to sleep better at night. The startling truth is that most rapists work under a veil of normalcy. In order for the percentage of rapes to decrease, we have to change our ideas about rape and let go of the old myths of the past. And until this happens, rape will continue to plague our world at large.
Sexual assault is an under-reported crime. It is difficult for women to report sexual abuse but it is far more difficult for men. For males, it is exponentially more difficult to report such crimes, thus making it more difficult for victim advocates to present an environment where victims feel comfortable coming forward to report sex crimes. To this end, according to RAINN (2009) male victims of sex related crimes may find it easier to make a first report anonymously, giving them the opportunity to speak to an objective list, specifically trained to address specific and complex emotional issues related to this crime.
There are many problems rapes could cause besides the ones highlighted already. 35% of men report significant short-term or long-term impacts such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A few more would include anxiety, depression, fearfulness, or post-traumatic stress disorder. The thoughts of future occurrences would consume their thoughts as the use excessive precaution that could have a little effect would be taken. The Withdrawal from relationships or friendships and an increased sense of isolation as well as avoiding people or places that are related to the assault or abuse. Despite being the least disclosed crime, it cost the U.S annually more than any other crime.
Rape is an issue that usually occurs to females and is more likely executed by males than females. Nonetheless, a female’s position in rape can and does go further than being the victim. Considering that women can be the perpetrator in this sexual assault, who are their victims? Rape can occur to anyone by anyone. In the same way a female can be a victim of rape, so can a male. According to RAINN, an anti-sexual assault organization, “About 3% of American men have experienced attempted or completed rape as of 1998, an estimated 4.5 million as of 2010” (Who Are the Victims?). However, men are not necessarily the victims of solely female-on-male rape. In fact, the majority of males who are raped are the victims of male-on-male rape and
Being raped is a traumatic experience for the victim. Psychological damage on the victim varies depending on the age, sex, religion, and culture of the victim. The only guarantee is that the effects of rape on a victim are never positive. Rape is known to lead to psychological and emotional problems that often keep the victim living in fear and unable to maintain trustful relationships with others. Victims often begin to withdraw themselves from others and often develop low self-esteem and decreased self worth.
The myth that men who rape women are sexually pathological has begun to be dispelled and replaced with an understanding that rape is an act of anger, power and control rather than lust. When people think about rape, they usually think of a stranger with a knife hiding in the bushes. He waits for a woman to walk by and then attacks. But that is not the only kind of rape. The majority of victims are raped by individuals they know or acquaintances.
In fact, in between 9-10% of all rape survivors outside of criminal institutions are male (U.S. Department of Justice, 1994; TAAS, 2014). Furthermore, estimates from the U.S. Centers for Disease control (2005) reported that 16% of men experienced sexual abuse by the age of 18. These reports are also thought to be underestimates due to the barriers male survivors face in the reporting process: the U.S. Department of Justice records an average of greater than 12,000 reported sexual assaults of men annually, and predicts that if unreported assaults are included, the actual number of men who are sexually assaulted in the United States each year is approximately 60,000 (U.S. Department of Justice, 1994). Furthermore, while these numbers incorporate just guys beyond 12 years old, the Department of Justice records that a male's time of most serious danger of rape is age 4. It is imperative to note, in any case, that not very many reviews have been done to archive the sexual mishandle or rape of men and young men. Besides, it is assessed that male survivors report rape and manhandle even less as often as possible than female survivors, thus it is hard to make an exact gauge of the quantity of men and young men who are being ambushed and mishandled (Dube,
Firstly, I think that this is what we all should aspire towards, regardless of current events or the date. It's part of being a good human, and, while difficult at times, I think it's absolutely necessary. (I'll admit I've faltered at times on this.)
The responses to the survivor’s story were all different and none of them were helpful, this makes it even more difficult for someone who has been sexually assaulted to talk to anyone about it. The people that are sexually assaulted will go to someone they trust for help, all they will want is to be believed and comforted.
“Rape is a crime that combines sex and violence, that makes sex the weapon in an act of violence.”(Kimmel 257) Because of this, rape is often traumatic for the victim of a rape. Many victims undergo what is known as rape trauma syndrome, “…rape trauma syndrome, consisting of an acute stage, where the primary response is fear, followed by a reorganization stage, characterized by phobias, insomnia, sexual dysfunctions, and major changes in life-style.”(Chandler et al pp. 248) These are some of the psychological side effects that women must endure after the rape. There are also other factors, relating to the individual that effect rape trauma they include, “age, prior sexual experience, ethnicity, and response of significant others to the victim. Factors relating to the sexual assault, such as degree of violence and the relationship between the victim and the assailant also affect trauma.”(Chandler et al pp 249) Overall, is is safe to say that there are many psychological effects of rape that allows women to fear the attack of a rape.
First off, I was raped by the man I was separated from, he was a volunteer fireman, and good friends with all the policemen. Myth #9 states “Most women are raped by a stranger in a desolate place”, fact is, I was raped by my estranged husband in my children’s playroom (Cooper-White, 116). Myth #7 stating that women use it as a form of revenge, it was truth and not revenge. As a rape victim, it was hard to get anyone to believe me due to his connections with the police force, his great lawyer and the fact that he was my husband, Cooper-White talks about spousal rapes in this chapter as