Ellen Forney's Marbles

Throughout the graphic memoir Marbles by Ellen Forney, she talks about and discusses her daily struggles with dealing with her recent, formal, diagnosis of bipolar I disorder. She, from the very beginning, explains her constant struggle with dealing her mental state and her constant high and lows. When she illustrates her daily life she intensely details her emotions and how she interacts with people and different places. She uses the illustrations to speak for her when there are no words to be said. These words, spoken and unspoken, account for some deep, meaningful thoughts and questions that arise about her and her daily life with bipolar I disorder. Afraid of and questioning her mental state, Forney’s initially uninformed life creates panic

She, as most people, does not want to be labeled as “crazy” and have her mind not fully in her control. And like most people, she is not well educated about her newly diagnosed disorder. As stated in the DSM-IV-TR, “bipolar disorder is characterized by more than one bipolar episode” and specifically bipolar I disorder is “primary symptom presentation is manic, or rapid (daily) cycling episodes of mania and depression”(Treatment). Mania is a “distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week” (Treatment). But between these symptoms and rapid mood swings, there are periods or normality. And these normal periods are often not talked about. People tend to focus on mainly the negative states of bipolar disorder when the person is experiencing an episode. This is why the general population looks down upon mood disorders. While explaining the symptoms of bipolar I disorder, Forney examines her own life and sees that she fits each category specified in a medical manual. Scared and panicked, she immediately retreats into marking herself as crazy. She becomes almost ashamed and is afraid to tell those closest to her; she fears that they will treat her differently. She only sees herself as what the DSM-IV-TR is telling

She searches for people that are like her to show her that she has a sense of normality. She feels as though she is alone in this transition in her life and does not know how to cope. She compares herself to a number of different artists that she, now, has a feeling of connection with. She names many successful artists that have all sorts of mental disorders and thought about how they may have become successful partly because of their disorder. This connection to the artists allows Forney to have a sense of not being alone in the world and that there is hope for her in this life.
According to some sources, bipolar disorder can be a gift and a curse depending how you look at it and when it is happening (Smith). With bipolar one experiences highs and lows in behavior, but can learn how to control their behavior with therapy and certain medications. It depends how you look at the disorder and how you treat it. People who have it under control will most likely not be as upset that they have it, rather than someone who cannot control themselves, it all depends on the outlook and the