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How a divorce affects a child socially and emotionally
How divorce affects children
How a divorce affects a child socially and emotionally
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In modern society, divorce is common among many married couples. Everywhere you look, a new couple is separating and slowing destroying their family. Divorce is a legal dissolution that allows a couple to freely remarry in the future and occurs when a married couple can no longer handle being in each other’s company (divorce). Their problems result in constant arguments that cannot be resolved. The problems faced within a couple not only affects the two involved in the fight, but also their children’s lives in a negatively manner. Marriage is not viewed as highly in today’s society as years before due to the amount of marriages not lasting and ending in a divorce. Divorce is common today because of couple’s uneasiness to try and work things out by going to couples therapy together or listening to each other. Children are affected emotionally by their parent’s decision of divorce in their relationships with their friends, family and teachers.
Parents try to do as much as possible to avoid their children asking about divorce. Major debates that occur in a fighting couple happen when the children are asleep at night. Parents wait till their children fall asleep or send them outside to play with friends before fighting because they believe this will avoid the children finding out about the divorce (Allers 3). This is why children lack the basic knowledge about divorce. Allers states that there are four major reasons children lack knowledge about divorce: Children are afraid to ask questions, parents are afraid that the incite of divorce will hurt and anger the children, most parents with young children do not have the experience of divorce therefore they do not know any more than their child, and the knowledge of divorce...
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“At current rates, about 40% of U.S. children will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriages before they reach 18” (Cherlin). This started as a prediction that was thought up almost forty years ago, in 1984. Today, this is more or less an everyday occurrence; not every divorce is the same. Yet society tends to lean towards stereotypes of divorce, when it comes to the children and how they should be acting because of the divorce.
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
In older times, women were responsible for the entire household work. But today, the scenario has completely changed. Now men and women are equally accountable for the household work. Even though the responsibilities have been shared, yet the divorce rate is increasing steadily. Today’s generation couples divorce due to several reasons. This includes fighting and anger between the couples or love for each other has changed. Other reason may be parent fall in love with someone else. Sometimes due to serious problem such as drinking, gambling, and spouse abuse. Financial issues or sharing duties can also be major reason for divorce. Each and every reasons of divorce affect the children’s life differently. In spite of all these reasons, majority of parents don’t care, what will be the affects of divorce on children’s life. How these innocent children handle and adapt to the new environment. Divorce can have both positive and negative affect on children’s life.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
DeBord, K. (1997). Focus on kids: The effects of divorce on children. National Network for Child Care. Retrieved November 3, 2002 from the World Wide Web: http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/effectsdivorce.html
Myers-Walls, J., & Karuppaswamy, N. (2013). The effect of divorce on children: What makes a difference. Retrieved from https://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/family-child relationships/effectdivorce.htm
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
Hughes, Jr. R. Ph.D. (2009) The effects of divorce on children. University of Illinois at urbana-Champaign
The day of your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Like 50% of US citizens, it commonly ends in divorce. But what if they have kids? Finances are split, as are the families that experience divorce. But its not always as bad as people make it out to be. Kids who have experienced divorce emerge more self-reliant, adaptable, and can even grow closer to family members.
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
Family support is the underlying factor that can help facilitate children to feel some form of relief after going through the traumatic experience of the divorce. Many children report that after a divorce occurs they felt more relaxed, relieved, or even happy all at the same time (Halligan, Chang, & Knox, 2014). That is not the only effect children feel after the divorce is finalized. Research done by Halligan et al., (2014), also found many other positive effects that divorce had children. Effects such as escaping from an abusive parent (if one existed), not experiencing arguing in the home anymore, a greater tolerance for more viewpoints, and one of the most important ones improved relationships with one or both
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.