Differences: Similarities Between Charity Bryant And Sylvia Drake

Charity Bryant and Sylvia Drake were relatively lucky. The two women were lucky because they were able to live together and were generally accepted by the surrounding community and their families. Addie Brown and Rebecca Primus shared similar feelings for one another that Charity and Sylvia felt for each other, but they did not have the same luxuries that Charity and Sylvia had. Addie and Rebecca were forced to live in secrecy, writing and sharing intimate thoughts with each other, but unlike Charity and Sylvia’s story, Addie and Rebecca’s story ends in a tragedy, with the two women becoming lost loves.

From the letters sent between Addie and Rebecca, it is clear to see that Addie and Rebecca shared similar intimate feelings that Charity

and Sylvia felt for one another. Although Charity and Sylvia were generally accepted in their community and by their family members, they also faced discrimination.

Charity had to move towns and switch jobs multiple times to escape rumors about her love life and Sylvia spent a good portion of her adult life having a tense relationship with her mother, who did not approve of her choice to spend her life with Charity. Although Charity and Sylvia faced these hardships throughout their life, their struggles could not even compare to the pain Addie and Rebecca felt. Addie and Rebecca were forced to hide their intense love for each other because of the time period and the social pressures surrounding them that Charity and Sylvia did not have to fight against.

During the time period both texts were set in, love and lust between two men or two women was not accepted and was viewed as a sin. According to Karen V. Hansen in her essay ‘No Kisses Like Youres’, Addie and Rebecca wrote letters to one another before, during, and immediately after the Civil War. This setting that Hansen gives historical context to Addie and Rebecca’s letters and informs the readers about the social and political climate of the time. Addie and Rebecca were both free-born African American women and they were born into completely different social classes. The

difference in social classes between the women serves as one of the many obstacles the women had to overcome in order to have relations. During this time period, it was even difficult for men and women to marry outside of their social class without harsh judgement from the surrounding community. Hansen immediately addresses the social class difference between the women in her essay by discussing their occupations. The essay describes Addie as a “free-born African-American domestic worker” (1) and Rebecca as an “African-American schoolteacher” (1). From these descriptions, it is clear to see that the women belonged to different social classes and that Rebecca came from the higher social class. Later on in her essay, Hansen discusses how Addie’s letters were almost illegible and had poor grammar (154). It was clear that Addie had received very minimal formal education and was not given the same opportunities as Rebecca, who had received a high school diploma. The women were raised in extremely different circumstances, Rebecca who came from a hard working nuclear family (156) and Addie who grew up as an orphan and was not mentioned in any nineteenth-century government documents (157). Although Charity and Sylvia did not have the same occupations or identical upbringing, Addie and Rebecca had to defy strict social class standards and expectations within their community to be with one another, an obstacle Charity and Sylvia did not have to overcome, being that they were from similar class standing.
Another social factor that influenced Addie and Rebecca’s love was their race. The difference between the two couples is clear to see, Charity and Sylvia were white, and Rebecca and Addie were African-American. This social factor may have been what influenced their relationship the most. Addie and Rebecca were comfortable confiding in one another about their thoughts and feelings about their love for one another and just about society in general. As Hansen describes, the two women “indulged in a passionate relationship with each other, and battled racism in the urban North.” From this sentence, it is clear to see that the two women used each other as a support system and they were able to easily relate to one another because they were both experiencing racism and discrimination because of their race. As Charity and Sylvia were both white, they never had to rely on each other for moral support against racism. Charity and Sylvia may have experienced discrimination because of rumors, but neither of them would experience racism and discrimination to the same degree that Addie and Rebecca did.
For free-born African-American workers, there were not as many job opportunities as there were for white workers.

Although Charity and Rebecca both had jobs as schoolteachers, it was extremely difficult for Addie to support herself economically as a domestic servant. Addie depended on her job for income and could not have survived long without employment. Although Addie was free-born, her status did not make it easier to find and keep a job. According to Hansen, “Hartford’s prosperity in the 1860’s did not guarantee economic security to free Blacks, for they were excluded from factory jobs and most of the skilled trades.” (157). Although Charity had to switch jobs several times in order to avoid rumors about her, Charity and Sylvia did not have the same amount of trouble finding jobs and they were able to keep a successful business together and live an economically comfortable

life.
According to Hansen, “the right to marry legally, when viewed in the context of a slave society, was a long-sought centerpiece of family legitimacy and stability.” (170). although the union of marriage was extremely important in Charity and Sylvia’s community, there were women who lived without husbands. Unlike Charity and Sylvia, both Addie and Rebecca end up marrying men. In African-American community, marriage did not offer the same benefits to Black women that it offered to White women (170). Because Black men also had trouble finding decent paying jobs, Black women often had to work to supplement their husband’s income (171). Black men and Black women had trouble supporting themselves independently and they depended on their spouse for the additional income. “African-American working women who did not marry suffered economic hardships throughout their life.” (171). Although Addie and Rebecca could have combined their income and lived together, they probably would not have made enough money to live together as two African-American working women and would have risked harsh judgement from the surrounding community.
Familial ties also played an important role in Addie and Rebecca’s relationship. Although Charity and Sylvia had some family members who did not approve of their relationship, most of their family members were accepting and supportive, especially Charity’s family. Even though Addie was an orphan, Addie became extremely close to members of Rebecca’s family as the two women spent time together. According to Hansen, “Rebecca’s kin embraced Addie in all of her ‘singularity’ and sensuality. Deeply involved in kin dynamics, Addie helped to mediate Rebecca’s relations with her family.” (166). Although Addie was accepted, Rebecca’s family often attempted to find male suitors for both of the women (168). Although Charity and Sylvia’s family members also attempted to find male suitors for them, at a certain point, they realized that Charity and Sylvia loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of their lives with each other.
Outside social pressures and social factors can influence how a relationship grows and whether the relationship ultimately survives. In the case of Addie and Rebecca, outside social factors caused them to work hard to try and fit in with the norms of society. By the end of their lives, they are both married to men and are trying to fit in with society’s standards. Charity and Sylvia did not have to hide their relationship. They were free to live their lives together, and although they faced a certain level of judgement and discrimination, the community generally accepted them. Both Addie and Rebecca did not feel comfortable addressing their feelings and conformed to the standards society had set for them. They did not have the same freedom to express their love that Charity and Sylvia had. In her essay, Hansen writes, “Moreover as Black women, Addie and Rebecca were subject to racial harassment and to employment and wage discrimination. Their opportunities were few and their resources were scarce.” This statement sums up the obstacles and challenges free Black women faced during the late-nineteenth century and these social factors are only part of the reason why Addie and Rebecca’s romance did not last. Besides this list of social factors, Addie and Rebecca also had to overcome societal norms in order to be together. Charity and Sylvia never had to experience racial harassment, or employment and wage discrimination because of their race. Charity and Sylvia were given the opportunity to be together whereas for Addie and Rebecca, society prevented them from being together.