Deadly Unna Monologue

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Scene 1: I’m part way through my freshman year of high school. Something is wrong with me. I don’t know what I feel, but I just want to cry. I just got off the bus and am sitting in my room on the floor. After a few weeks of holding back tears from an unknown cause, I finally let them glide down my cheeks and into my lap, hoping to reveal why I’m even crying in the first place. Maybe it’s because I’m stressed. My heart feels heavy and my ribs tight around my lungs. I sit on the soft carpet for who knows how long, letting myself think and feel until I hear my mom calling me for dinner. I wash my tear-stained face and put concealer around my pink nose and swollen eyes. Scene 2: It’s the ninth period and I’m in the bathroom again. I always feel …show more content…

I wish I could just get it over with, but I’m too afraid of germs to stick my fingers down my throat. My hair tied up, I wait for my name to be called on the speakers, anticipating another detention. Scene 3: Mom asked if I was okay today. Ever since I first let myself cry, I haven’t been able to stop whenever I find myself alone with the tightness in my chest. I almost cried that very second. I wish I could tell her what I’m feeling. She deserves to know that. But I can never put it into words. I’ve always had a weird intuition about what was going to happen next in my life, but for some reason, I can no longer imagine my own future. Like I won’t even make it there. Scene 4: It’s probably around noon in the morning. I wouldn’t know if that happened. I’m sitting on a hospital bed with a needle taped into my arm, right above the aggravated array of lines and splotches. My parents are sitting in the two chairs on the side of the cramped room with their heads in their …show more content…

I sit in silence on the ride home while my parents report to the staff for their threats and deceit. Glad I could make them a little extra money. Scene 5: I’m sitting in the office in front of the suspension slip on the principal’s desk. Again, I wasn’t careful enough in hiding my habits. Once my parents find out that I’ve been using it, they’ll take everything away. I know I don't have the strength to tell them why I was carrying it in the first place. For the first time, my heart doesn’t tighten with anxiety. I think I might have enough reasons now. Scene 6: It’s early April. School is almost over but I can’t see that helping my situation. I’m in my room with the window open. It’s still quite cold so the birds have yet to come out but the mourning doves stay here year round, hooting into the night air. I’m fidgeting with the pen in my hand, thinking about what to write. I never understood goodbyes. What does goodbye even mean? They already know I love them, so what else should I write? I could write my feelings, but there aren’t many left. Though I love my family, I can’t help but wonder how superficial they’ll be after death. Scene 7: It’s summer! I don’t remember much about

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