Darcia Tudor's Mediated Divorce Is Best For Children

Divorce and separation effects all parties, but especially has an impact on the children and their emotions. When thinking of divorce or the separation of two parents, there is a tendency to only look at the effects it has on the child currently and not the permanent damage that can result from it. Considering the emotional effects, divorce and single parenting can have a long-term effect and have relevance in the children’s future relationships. It is the parent's responsibility to take into account the child’s feelings while having a divorce and to reduce or eliminate the negative emotional responses that may stem from the separation. In the article, “Mediated Divorce Is Best for Children,” Darcia Tudor states that if the parents compromise

Most divorces are high conflict which consist of many arguments that children might hear and be affected by. Paul Amato, author of “Parental Divorce, Marital Conflicts, and Children’s Behavior Problems,” claims that “through modeling verbal or physical aggression, parents "teach" their children that disagreements are resolved through conflict.” This perception of disagreements being resolved through conflict can hurt the child in social and future romantic relationships. Since the child does not understand how to negotiate, compromise, or settle things in a calm manner, the relationships they have may crumble. Also, because of the conflict between the parents that arise through and after the process of separation, the child has to “negotiate between the conflicting worlds of their mothers and fathers” (Bryant). Having to consistently go back and forth between the “different worlds” of their parents, it can have a psychological impact and demonstrate to the child that this is how relationships should be. Overall, the parent needs to reveal the true definition of a relationship and remain civil throughout the divorce so that the child is not taught the wrong

A study was done by Ed Lerner on children with divorced parents and results convey that “close to half said that after the divorce they felt like a different person with each of their parents.” Not being able to be the same person in each environment can cause identity issues and can arouse weird feelings toward their parents. Also, when the children reach adulthood and have children of their own, they might treat their children the same way which can cause a never ending cycle. Since divorce is extremely stressful for the child, they need “the affection and attention of both parents” (Moiser). Having the attention can ultimately release the emotions that the child has been building up and can change their views on divorce. Without the attention from both parents, it can cause the child to go through these emotions alone and carry them into adulthood which can affect their relationships. Throughout the process of divorce and after, it is imperative for parents to pay close attention to their children and provide all the affection they possibly can to reduce any future