Creative Writing: The Cold War

I knew I had messed up. I had never seen Tamaki so angry with me, and it was because I was so blinded by resentment to see what was really going on. He was in the wrong, too, though. He shouldn’t have gone behind my back. I refused to apologize until he realized he was just as wrong as me.

I had been holed up in my room since I returned to the mansion, and I didn’t want to go out in fear of running into my brother. I didn’t want to know what the second altercation would be like. Still, late in the evening, there was a knock on my door. “Mistress Katashi?” I recognized the voice to be my maid, Shima.

I allowed, “Come in.”

She cracked open the door and poked her head in, “Mistress Katashi, you have a visitor.” The first person who came

to mind was Eric. Perhaps he was getting worried that I wasn’t answering his calls?

Even though I was not in the mood to deal with him, I told her, “Send him in, please.” She nodded once and opened the door fully. I gasped, “Hikaru?”

Hikaru, no longer in his school uniform, walked into my room before Shima closed the door once more. “Hey, Frenchie. Nice room. I like the color,” he greeted. He sat in my desk chair, and I moved to sit on the edge of my bed facing him.

I wondered, “How did you know where I live?”

He explained, “Kaoru and I’ve been here before to see Tamaki. Sorry to drop in, but you weren’t answering any of my texts or calls.”

“Oh. I turned it off,” I glanced at my yellow cellphone resting on my desk behind him. He looked over at it, too. “What’d you need? Help with French?”

“Well, yeah, but that isn’t what this is about. I heard you and Tamaki in the hall earlier. I was going to tell you that Nekozawa’s servants helped him, which is good since the both of you left him,” Hikaru told me.

I frowned and looked down at my lap, “Are you here to tell me I should apologize? Because if you are, you might as well leave.”

“No, I’m here to tell you you’re both equally stupid.” My eyes snapped to his. “Let me see if I have this straight. Your mom has a condition that constantly needs care, but she went bankrupt somehow. Your dad never married after your mom, so to get an heir or heiress, your grandmother traded giving your mom a place to stay and paying her medical bills for one of you going with her to Japan, which also meant you would never see your mom and sibling again. Also, she would never get involved in the person’s life again who didn’t go with her. You decided you would go, but Tamaki knew you didn’t want to leave and went behind your back and left instead, which made you think he was a selfish ass. Also, your grandmother went back on her promise and first made you get engaged to Eric, and still ultimately made you leave your mom with the threat to stop paying her bills. Am I right?” I hated the blank expression he was giving me.

I hesitated, “I wouldn’t say I decided it myself.” He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I dictated the conversation.” He nodded, approving of my correction. I sighed. “Listen, I know I was wrong to assume that, and I believe what he said about doing it in my best interest, but he was just as wrong as me. He didn’t give me a choix.”

“You’re looking at this the wrong way, Katashi. It shouldn’t matter that he was wrong, too. You still have to apologize,” Hikaru advised me.

I snapped, “I don’t have to do anything! I had reason behind my beliefs! None of this would have happened if he hadn’t been so sneaky! He has to apologize first!” I crossed my arms and huffed, not willing to discuss it any further. Hikaru, on the other hand, wasn’t finished with me.

He narrowed his eyes, “And why does he need to do that? Why can’t you?”

I said simply, “He started this. He should end it.”

“You know, you’re not the only one who can see through people,” Hikaru stated, leaning back in the chair. I swallowed hard, but I refused to look at him. “I know you better than you might think, and I know how twins work. You’re just afraid.”

“I am not,” I declined.

“Yeah, you are. What other reason do you have to be hidden up in here?” he questioned.

I glared, “If you know me so well, why don’t you just say it? You seem confident enough.”

“Because I don’t think you believe it entirely yourself. You obviously don’t want to be the one to blame,” he said. I could tell he wasn’t going to give it up.

“Yeah, okay, I’m afraid. Are you happy now?”

“And what are you afraid of?” he pressed.

“I….” I began. I bit my lip, and my posture slowly relaxed as I thought about what I was going to say. My resolve was crumbling. “I thought such terrible things about Tamaki, and I shouted it in his face. He was right. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge him, but that was all I could think about him for two years. He has to go first because that’ll be how I know he forgives me, but… he isn’t going to, Hikaru. You should have seen the way he looked at me. As much as I want him to, I know he won’t.” I wiped the tears off my face, but they still kept falling.

I felt the bed dip, and Hikaru wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. “You have a seriously messed up family, Katashi, and I’m sorry. You two are only like this because of them, but don’t you think Tamaki felt remorseful for leaving you two? I mean, I know he said it, but don’t you think he knew you might hate him for it?”

I shook my head, “I never hated him!”

Hikaru pointed out, “He never knew that. Think about it. He created the Host Club to make women happy, pretending they were you and your mom. Pretending you weren’t mad at him. How is he supposed to apologize when he thinks you just proved you both did hate him all along?”

I pulled away from him and argued, “But that isn’t true!”

He smiled softly and wiped away a stray tear, “I know that, but how will he unless you tell him yourself?” We stared at each other for a few seconds before I nodded and hugged him.

“Thank you, Hikaru. You’re an amazing friend,” I thanked.

“I couldn’t let a pair of twins fall apart like that. I’m still curious about you two. Now, how about we go find Tamaki?” Hikaru offered. I pulled away from him and agreed to it. Holding my hand, we left my room to go to Tamaki’s, which I thought was the best bet for where he might have been.

Halfway to his room, we turned the corner and ran into someone. Backing up, I gasped, “Tamaki! Kaoru…?” The second twin was standing right behind my brother, and I suddenly understood what trap they had put us in.

“Wait, Hikaru? What are you doing here?” Tamaki asked. Hikaru let go of me and went to his brother, wrapping their arms around each other.

“You two are always forcing people together,” Hikaru smirked.

“We thought we should do the same for you!” Kaoru grinned.

I looked back to Tamaki, and our eyes locked.

We both felt the same fear coursing through us, but it was best to get it over with. We both tried to speak at the same time and immediately stopped. Tamaki said quietly, “Sorry. You can go first.”

I took a deep breath and apologized, “Tamaki, I’m really sorry for the way I was acting towards you and for thinking such terrible things. I didn’t understand why you did it, but I still shouldn’t have presumed that you were doing it out of selfishness. Thank you for giving me two more years with Mama. It was the best thing you could have done for me.”

“I thought you hated me,” he told me.

“No! I never did! I was shocked, and I didn’t know what to think. I was bitter, but I never would hate you. Mama didn’t, either. I really do love and care for you, Tamaki,” I explained. For the first time in an extremely long time, I had meant it when I said I loved him.

Tamaki smiled, “And I’m sorry I went behind your back like that. I should have told you. Even if it was just a letter, you deserved a goodbye and some sort of explanation. Everything I did was for you. I love you, too, Katashi.” He opened his arms, and I gratefully ran into them. The twins started clapping, which made me laugh.

“We did what we wanted to do. We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” they waved, walking

away.

I grinned, watching them leave, “They don’t realize just how nice they are, do they?”

Tamaki nodded, “Yeah, but they’re still devils.” My attention turned back to him, and I didn’t feel guarded. I no longer had to worry about possible outbursts or burning secrets. It was an amazing feeling to know this. It was like nothing had changed.

I finally had my twin back.